Author Topic: Discussion Truth Darts-Do They Work?  (Read 1861 times)

Offline Not Your MonkeyTopic starterTopic starter

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Discussion Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« on: April 08, 2017, 12:02:24 PM »
I've read RCR's articles about truth darts and have shot 3 at my husband in the past 48 hours. I'm feeling the need to shoot some more.

I find her examples though to be a bit lacking in punch. Because they are so generic and almost obvious that I am almost thinking they are the sort of thing that would go in one ear and out the other without registering.

According to RCR, they don't have an effect right away. But that begs the question, how do we know they actually work?

Can anyone give any examples where you saw a direct connection between a truth dart and changes in the MLCer? Or examples of where the MLCer later told you that the truth dart indeed made them think and/or change their ways?

Offline 1phoenix

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2017, 12:04:56 PM »
C4E,

Threw one at H about never being around when needed and he started to take an interest in 'home' things within a week.
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear — Nelson Mandela

I never lose.  I either win or learn! - Nelson Mandela

For we have fallen from our shelves, To face the truth about ourselves.  "The Gift", Annie Lennox

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do."  Eleanor Roosevelt

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." Yoda

Online OffRoad

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2017, 12:39:37 PM »
Mine finally admitted that my suggestion for S17 to go to Community college and tranfer as an option was a valid point  (Truth dart was "Just because your parents told you that only a 4 year college showed you were intelligent, that doesn't make it a fact, It's what you do with your intelligence that counts.")

IMO, a valid truth dart, delivered without anger, can't hurt, so why not?
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline Velika

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2017, 02:40:20 PM »
Last year one of the only times I saw my MLC-H as his old self was following a written truth dart. Nothing I said (or even his young son said)  seemed to get through to him.

I did notice though at one point he told me he was going to get a second car, and I made a suggestion as to which car to get. And that is the car he ended up with. (This was pre off-road vehicle.) Since he was rebelling against me in almost all levels this may be notable.

I would love to hear Jedi mind tricks for MLCers, maybe there are unexplored strategies.

Online bluerose

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2017, 02:55:36 PM »
     I you find out how to use those jedi mind send the info my way. PLEASE!

Offline Not Your MonkeyTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2017, 06:26:17 AM »
I can report now that my truth dart from a few nights ago MAY have had some effect on H. He had said he felt more "comfortable" sleeping with OW than with me. I told him he was making excuses and his response was as if he knew I knew he was but he didn't say it directly. My real feeling is that he is afraid of what OW's reaction would be, because she would make his life hell, so no wonder he feels more comfortable there.

So I sent him a truth dart text after he left saying, "Please no excuses, because I know you will do the right thing in the end because that is what will make you proud of yourself." He always used to proudly say to me, "C4E, I always do the right thing in the end," so I decided to use his own words and show him the benefit of doing the right thing.

Last night as he was about to leave, he hugged me, I felt like he was sort of having a hard time letting go and he said, "Do you want me to sleep here a while?" I said, "It's up to you." And he laid down with me for a while, we held hands, looked in eachother's eyes, chatted a bit, and he closed his eyes and looked really peaceful and content, unlike how I have seen him in the last months. He did leave again after half an hour, but it seemed like a baby step in the right direction and an indirect acknowledgment that the truth dart got through.
« Last Edit: April 09, 2017, 07:10:50 AM by Changing4Ever »

Offline 1phoenix

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2017, 06:31:23 AM »
Good for you C4E
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear — Nelson Mandela

I never lose.  I either win or learn! - Nelson Mandela

For we have fallen from our shelves, To face the truth about ourselves.  "The Gift", Annie Lennox

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do."  Eleanor Roosevelt

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." Yoda

Offline Thunder

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2017, 07:15:55 AM »
The few times I threw my H a truth dart was when he would say something like..well, I don't know how I'm going to keep the house and still pay you alimony...or something to that effect, I would just say..."Well, this was your idea not mine."

He finally stopped saying stuff like that because complaining to me about his consequences was going no where with me.  Like I was supposed to feel sorry for him because he chose to divorce me and would have to pay for it???  Ah no...
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Not Your MonkeyTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2017, 07:20:42 AM »
I do that too, when he says he doesn't need two women. He says it to OW too. I tell him he had one, and that he chose to make it two. However, I think he usually says it when he is feeling I don't want to be with him, but nonetheless, it was HIS choice and he has to deal with that. I sure as hell am not going to solve this "problem" for him by leaving him.

Offline Thunder

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #9 on: April 09, 2017, 07:36:28 AM »
Exactly!  They create a problem than whine about it.

Well, go fix it!!
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

 

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