Author Topic: Discussion Truth Darts-Do They Work?  (Read 1805 times)

Offline TryMe!

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Discussion Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #10 on: April 09, 2017, 08:31:16 AM »
My W is pretty accurate in following up:

- Then explain me what is that about those curls and shaving your legs every day? Nothing to do with mlc?
** She stopped the curls and shaving legs. [Okay, this one was a loss for me :D)

- Hmmm, if you look at it he is actually unrespectfull to you. [Boss, possible EA]
** Angry at phone with boss: You are unrespectfull to me, unrespectfull, unrespectfull.....

- Ohh, then why are you texting with him so often in the evening and weekend
** No more texting after 6 pm or in the weekend

- Did you really think you scare me with your anger (Monster) at me?
** Monster is covert, haven't seen it anymore in that intensity.

- I can't listen to your playlist anymore, it is depressing and  the text of the songs are only about quitting a relationship
** Playlist is never turned on when I am around, actually she now isn't listening for days instead of hours.

- Ohh, why is it so important to go to Gym on mondays?
** No more Gym on monday, actually she hasn't been to the gym since 7 weeks now after that dart.

- Well if your Step father will not tell your mom what is his problem with her and she will not pick up on it, they will soon go into divorce.
** I get more constructive feedback on what is bothering her and she explains what things mean to her, I carefully listen to every word.

- Well that 'fantasy guy' of yours actually look like your father. And when he is in your head you are not focused on our relationship.
** No more looking up her 'fantasy guy' on facebook anymore.

- You might have mlc.
** Noo, that is ridiculous!! Day after, looking up mlc on Internet.

And so on. 

Offline Not Your MonkeyTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #11 on: April 09, 2017, 08:44:10 AM »
My H has a habit of telling OW she is under his shoe, and more rarely me. I do NOT like this talk. It is totally unacceptable. He tried it on me yesterday and although I didn't respond, I prepared my response for next time he tries it on me. I found an old flipflop of his and washed it. Next time he says that, I will tie the flipflop to the top of my head and walk around with it there until I get some sort of satisfactory response from him. I decided the best way to deal with it will be to mock him.

There was a funny one I just remembered. His nickname for OW is "Bear" because frankly, she has the body shape of a bear. One day I told him, "Did you know in the US, bear is the term used for hairy gay men?" That's the last time I heard him refer to her as "Bear."


Offline 1phoenix

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #12 on: April 09, 2017, 09:45:15 AM »
C4E. You are the best. Thanks for making me laugh so hard!
I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear — Nelson Mandela

I never lose.  I either win or learn! - Nelson Mandela

For we have fallen from our shelves, To face the truth about ourselves.  "The Gift", Annie Lennox

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do."  Eleanor Roosevelt

"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." Yoda

Offline Not Your MonkeyTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #13 on: April 10, 2017, 04:22:21 AM »
I don't know why truth darts are the focus now but they seem to be flying fast and furious for me at the moment.

Last night I managed to launch a truth dart about OW that my husband agreed with. That was a surprise. He didn't defend her.

Today, even more surprisingly, he launched his own truth dart at himself. He decided he wanted to remove one of his email addresses from our joint online banking account in the US for security reasons. While he was logged in (he hadn't logged in since December), he started reviewing how much money I had been making over the past months. I work online from home for two different companies. He noticed it was down. He asked me if I had putting money in my personal account, and I told him no, I would not do that. He decided to do an even more focused investigation, starting his review from the date he really got involved with OW. He explicitly said the date he was looking at. He came to the conclusion that I was earning about half of what I was earning before. I just told him I couldn't concentrate on work, nothing more, not explaining why but I am sure he understood. He said he could support us it didn't matter if I worked. But he kept commenting that it was down and I repeated several times, "Why do you think that is?" He said, "I don't care why it is down" in a neutral tone but he avoided answering the question.

I can't say how relieved I was for him making this discovery himself. If I had delivered the truth dart myself, he would have gotten very angry and defensive. But the fact that I am earning less now I am sure will bother him, and he can't escape the reason really either. He might imagine it is intentional or un-intentional on my part but either way, I'm sure it will be something he can't escape thinking about, as if effects us financially and he knows he is to blame for this, directly or indirectly. There is no way he can spin it otherwise. This was a good dose of reality for him in several ways.

He just went to buy groceries and I gave him my list and after reviewing it he commented how much it would cost. Good.

Offline Thunder

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Re: Truth Darts-Do They Work?
« Reply #14 on: April 10, 2017, 04:33:29 AM »
He truth darted himself!!   ;D
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

 

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