[BrenM]

I have been feeling a lot of guilt over this past weekend of my daughter's graduation.

Ohh shocked, us LBS are certainly a crazy bunch....so much compassion for everyone.  Don't ever change.

You should not have guilt at all!  It was your daughters day, and you did everything in your power to make it perfect for her. 

I definitely agree with Nah, send a simple Thankyou text thanking him and his parents for coming. Nothing more or less.  Put the ball back into the Vanishers court.  I know he would've Sussed you out in your new dress....looking smoking hot....no wonder her couldn't face you 😘

[Loyal]

Sorry beyonddone, I wasn`t having a particularly good day when I read your post and thanks to you too lawprofessor for your sound advice.  If I´m honest with myself, ìt`s not as if I wasn`t previously aware as to how I should have dealt with him.

[maomina]

Yep vanisher .....literally vanished since things were not going his way !!! Since he realized that yes he has to pay child support and no he does not get to call the kids when he wants to and does not get to manipulate them against me and my family ! Vanisher maybe through me setting boundaries and asking for nc between me and him ! Vanished maybe a tantrum or maybe cause he can t stand us anymore !

[BrenM]

Well today marks our 22nd Wedding Anniversary - happy anniversary Bren, you are a great wife lol...a bittersweet day full of the necessary emotions and sadness.  I did reflect on our good times and tried not to focus on his MLC behavior.

S#2 has recently decided to resume playing rugby league after not playing for years.  Today was his debut game....guess who was there...the Vanisher and the Slore.  How he knew who knows?  Another mystery, but I was pleased he turned up, just don't know why she was there.  Fortunately there was a football field separating the kids and I from them.  I wonder if he was watching much of the game or was watching the family he has abandoned......I enjoyed the game and day out and did not focus on him.  Let him see what he is missing out on.his family....

[Still Half full]

Rossbren, these anniversaries are tough, even though it's 'just another' day in MLCrazy, we can't help but feel more, more sadness, more disappointment, more hurt, because these days have been such special days for so many years. I'm pleased you were able to reflect on some of the happy times, not just the sadness

Mine is coming up and I've been thinking a lot about it, I've decided I'm going to 'try' to take it back as a happy day, I know I wear rose coloured specs 🤓 but I really am going to try to make it a date that I remember love and happiness. I don't want my Hiding H to take any more joy away from me.  I'm lucky, I had 23 years of very happy marriage, some people don't get that, I did and I'm going to try so very hard to reclaim it this year

Two days before my wedding anniversary is the anniversary of BD, me telling H to leave and him running off with OW 😔 I'm thinking of re labelling that day as the day H ruined his life, I think that's how he see's it, but that's not my problem, I'm not sure if OW will be celebrating that day as the one where she 'won' her prize ?? But I don't think my H will think of that day with any joy at all. He broke the person he's loved for 28 years heart

I don't know if I'm going to be able to reclaim it, but it's my intention to try, but if I'm crying my eyes out it doesn't really matter, I'm a few steps forward from the last 2 anniversaries

It must have been hard seeing him at the game, but if he was aware of the date I'm sure he must have felt something, but maybe it's another thing that he can't think about, so he might not have even remember the date. It really is astounding how the MLC can lock away their feelings, but I think it will be there, somewhere in the back of his mind and I'm glad he saw you, it might make him peek into those locked away memories

Thinking of you Rossbren

[nah]

  How he knew who knows? 

They always know. 

The Leaver is king of projection.  When the Leaver first started talking again he mentioned he had a partner in his new business who happens to be an old friend of ours from 30 years ago (I knew him a few years before I knew Leaver).  He said, "well, you know I started a business with (D)"...

I said, "No how would I know that"

Well, you always know everything else.

At this point I hadn't talked to the Leaver in over a year, how would he even know what I knew or didn't know?  (confused yet??  )

A few minutes later he talked about a picture of my living room that was on Zillow, he mentioned how my cat was in the background.... 

He accused me of stalking (actually used this word) but he knew more details about me than I knew about him.

Why would you be paranoid about being stalked unless you're guilty of it yourself??

[BrenM]

It must have been hard seeing him at the game, but if he was aware of the date I'm sure he must have felt something, but maybe it's another thing that he can't think about, so he might not have even remember the date. It really is astounding how the MLC can lock away their feelings, but I think it will be there, somewhere in the back of his mind and I'm glad he saw you, it might make him peek into those locked away memories

Thankyou SHF

Yes he saw us all... not that we were stalking him (of course we were lol), but it was very obvious that he was staring at us and not watching the game.  I would even say that he looked rather uncomfortable standing beside the Slore.   And I do believe he knew what today was.  I too believe that in the crazy head of his he would've had some precious memories re-surface.   AND I just happened to have my hair done last night....new cut and new colour....his brunette ex-wife is now platinum blonde...received compliments from many friends hahaha. 

[stillbaffled]

RB and SHF - you both have good outlooks about your anniversaries.  I remember dreading that first one.  We weren't divorced and he was off on a camping adventure with OW.  I ran a 5K that day in a neighboring town. I have since decided that each year on the date of our anniversary I will do something special for me so the day continues to have happy memories for me. 

 

[nah]

Our first anniversary post BD I took another man for a long weekend on an island and put it on the Leaver's credit card. 

Hey, at least it got him talking to me again (for a few minutes anyways).....   

[Still Half full]

SB - a 5k run 😳 I said I was going to try to make it a happy day, I think a 5k run would make me cry 😂😂