Author Topic: My Story MLC - 32 going on 14  (Read 7341 times)

Offline Whyus

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My Story Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2017, 05:18:32 AM »
Hey 80G... pierced nipples  ::). Dont fancy that myself but each to they're own....

So your D+D? If that's whats right for you then go for it... I tell myself at least 3 times a week that im done but im still not sure yet. Detachment is awesome, I really am starting to enjoy my own company. I've been trying NC but it doesn't work because of our house. I have to call her nearly every week about it!!!
Look after yourself and those kids mate
Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. Is tolerated by LaFamiglia
2 Sons - 20 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2017, 09:38:55 AM »
Whyus - I'd like to think I'm D+D, but in reality I think I'm just D+a fool lol. I was just posting on Watchers thread that LBS just like MLC apparently has to be gone through and not over or around. I really don't feel divorced, or married for all that matter. Just alone. Sometimes I can deal with it better than others. Here lately its been more difficult because of the whole SIL thing. She's got it in her head that something happened between me and her little sister. It has come up before but we got over it. Or just didn't give it the time and consideration it deserved cause it's back and it's ugly.

Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #12 on: July 12, 2017, 09:20:54 PM »
putting on my fortune tellers turbin

xW is jealous of her little sis because little sis has what xW wants but can't have because she threw it away....
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #13 on: July 12, 2017, 09:31:33 PM »
Yes. Has been since niece was born. They had tons of help. We didn't for any of our four. I mean we had help, but nothing like what they had.
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2017, 10:50:53 AM »
OK wow. So I just found out there is in fact OM. It's the Cuban guy from the beginning. If this guy is real and what she says he is than I wouldn't consider this an affair down. Guy has money, clean, business owner, world traveler etc..

How many times am I going to let this woman rip my guts out? Felt like I was making progress but now I feel like Sisyphus and back at the bottom all over.  Nothing left to do but push that rock back up the hill.
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #15 on: July 14, 2017, 10:53:54 AM »
Oh man, I'm sorry to hear this, Geo.  Hurts like crazy, I know.  He might not be everything you think he is. 

Sending support. 
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #16 on: July 14, 2017, 11:01:31 AM »
SB you're right, he may not be. But right now he has the person that used to be my wife.
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Offline Thunder

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #17 on: July 14, 2017, 11:10:40 AM »
Geo, if he had an affair with a married woman, he IS an affair down!

I'm still very sorry.  It cuts hard.   :-\

You'll make it through this too, Geo.  We're all here for you.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #18 on: July 14, 2017, 12:45:26 PM »
Yeah I know. Eventually all will be well. It is the now. I don't know why I'm bothered at all honestly. We're divorced. I have my kids. I have my family and even have hers. By all accounts I should be jumping up and clicking my heels x3. One of the things she has always said about me is that I'm emotionally detached and that I think too much and don't feel enough. Well this is why.
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #19 on: July 14, 2017, 05:23:55 PM »
OK so I've calmed down a bit. Not taking this stuff personally is the hardest thing. I forked up and engaged in an argument with her. That's what brought out the truth...or is it another lie?

Backstory:
The cuban guy. He was  apparently a customer of hers that took advantage of her at a very down time I think. I had no Idea she was feeling the way she was because I hadn't really seen her in a month. Christmas time she was really missing her dad. Supposedly this guy looks like her dad. Also was interested in her astrology studies as his mother is an astrologer. He purchased a reading fro XW and that's supposedly how they exchanged contact information. He was the first reason she wanted to end the marriage. In the beginning she would say things like she had never felt this way about another person before. After a week or so that changed to her just using him to propel her fledgling astrology business. During the 4 months we still lived together she "got rid of him" but still insisted the marriage was irretrievably broken but yet did nothing about it other than ignore her responsibilities as a mother first and wfe second. Nothing more was said of him after the first two weeks.

Today:
Wife calls at lunch. She had been trying to call little sister to confront her but she wouldn't answer. So she called me to tell me to have little sister call. I tell her I don't speak directly to little sister but I will tell brother in law to have her call. I tell her to meet me at the storage unit so I can give her back her  key. When she pulls in she is guns blazing about little sister. I did OK at first and don't even know what was said that lit my fuse but I ended with a "well firetruck you too then" and got in the car and drove off. She called before I could even get out of the lot and like a stupid fish I took the bait and answered only to hear more vim and vitriol about me trying to make her look bad to her  family. Well the fire is already raging, lets give it some gas. I very subtly and calmly I friggin matched her tone and aggression and replied that I didn't have to make her look bad that she was doing well enough on her own with that. I borrowed a line from another post here and told her that I was sorry she was so at war with herself and the mess she was in now  is her own doing. You dug the hole, crawled in it and are now pulling the dirt on top of yourself. I told her I wished she would either hurry up and hit rock bottom or just pull her head out of her ass and quit being the 14 year old girl she is so desperately trying to be. She said she didn't have her head up her ass and that she wasn't at war with herself. I told her she did and was. All you do is sleep, work and run around drinking with garbage (in reference to her new old friends that do nothing but sit at the pool and drink, smoke weed and snort coke). This is when she said that it's not garbage. She was in a relationship with the cuban. already out of control at this point I yelled at her did he know she spent the weekend trying to and eventually firetrucking me 2 weeks ago. She said they weren't in a relationship  then. I'd had enough and hung up the phone. I wanted to crawl in a hole myself.

Now:
I wonder if this guy is even real. If so how much of this is true? How long did it go on? Is her thinking I had an affair with little sis her projecting this affair or maybe some other I don't know about back on to me? I already know (or do I)  the attraction to this guy is her dad. This is all sooooooooooo effed up. I don't know why it bothers me. That's a feeling. In my head I'm already like screw it, let him have that bag of crazy. This makes me ask the question; which of us really is at war with themselves?
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

 

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