Author Topic: My Story MLC - 32 going on 14  (Read 7336 times)

Offline Thunder

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My Story Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #20 on: July 14, 2017, 05:56:10 PM »
You both are, Geo.

Her from her stupid crisis and you from being hurt so bad (and probably blaming yourself in some way.)

I think it's so bizarre that we all try to look at what we maybe could have done differently.
But there really is nothing.

She would have gone in this crisis eventually no matter who she married.  It's her own personal crisis, we just get the blame for it because their confused and have to blame someone.

Actually Geo you don't want your X the way she is right now anyway.  This creature is NOT your W.
Let Cuban boy have that version of her and good luck. (sorry if any Cuban people are on here).

You got out at the right time.  She can not keep torturing you like so many MLCer's do to their spouses.
Like you said you got pretty much everything....the best being your kids.  That's huge!

She'll regret all this down the road, but by then you may not even care.
It's just such a shock right now, but it will wear off.
It will take some time.

I'm very sorry this happened.  Like you said it may not even be true.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #21 on: July 14, 2017, 06:08:51 PM »
Whoa Geo....that was pretty intense.  I'm advising that you really do NOT want to have a confrontation like that again.  So how about not taking that bait again!?! 

If she is doing all that stuff with "garbage" people I do worry about your kids being with her.  Do you have them exclusively or is she seeing them?  You have a lot on your plate being a single parent right now.  You certainly do not need to go another 9 rounds with batcrap craziness. 

Personally I wouldn't relay any messages for her.  If her own sister doesn't want to talk to her that's between them.  I'm guessing she wanted to rip into little sister as well. 

Hope the rest of your day has found you in a calmer and better place.  Sending support. 
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #22 on: July 16, 2017, 07:44:35 AM »
I know..I'm angry with myself. I've been good at not reacting lately. IDK that's how we usually argue. It isn't often but it's intense. Usually started by some jealousy of hers.

She is supposed to have them every other weekend. It hasn't exactly worked out that way. They haven't gone 24 hours without me yet, which is good. Up until now it has been pretty easy. She was still in the house we lived in together. Now she's renting a room in another house. I can't stop her if she wants to take them, but we'll see where that goes.

As far as what she does when I'm not around...So far she hasn't shown any signs of doing stuff while she has them, but again she hasn't kept them without me for very long. WIthout asking for it, I get pretty good feedback from D14 about the goings on while they are with her. Doesn't matter what I individually think about the company she keeps, there isn't anything I can do about it without going back to court. I decided to leave the door open a little for her. I should not have done that. I should have gone for everything.

I did relay the message but didn't have to. Turns out only one attempt was made to call little sister and she did answer. XW then hung up ans wouldn't answer the return attempts from little sister. She knows she's in for a fight, and I think she also knows she's wrong.

If what she says about this alienator is true, then I must find a way to be happy for her. All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, I just thought I would always be a primary part of that happiness.

Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Offline Thunder

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #23 on: July 16, 2017, 08:09:13 AM »
That's big of you Geo.

I always said I didn't want my H to suffer either.  I did want him happy, just not happier than me.   ;D
My bad.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #24 on: July 16, 2017, 12:13:35 PM »
I can totally relate. Somehow I feel like both of us can be happy without each other, but that ultimate happy lies within us having each other. Time will tell I guess. At this point I'm fairly certain that if OM is real at all, then it's mostly fantasy. Like a situation where it was a one nighter and she won't let go of the idea or something. I think she said he was younger too. Maybe 24 but I'm not sure, so it could be a milf hunter too. IDK, by the time she said it all I could hear were the burners in my head.
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #25 on: July 16, 2017, 09:26:01 PM »
You're going to be surprised that somebody my age knows what a "milf" is!  I work with students aged 17-21 so I am fairly educated on the vernacular of that generation. 

How disgusting if your W is being used for that.

I'm not as generous as you (at least not yet) because I really don't want my MLCer to be happy.  Maybe I'll get there someday. 

Keep on being the dad - your kids need you. 
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #26 on: July 16, 2017, 10:07:30 PM »
Geo,

FWIW, if he was a MIL hunter, she's going to be in a really bad place, really soon.

I only say this as this is exactly what happened to my Mid-Lifer. OM wanted in her pants, got what he wanted, then went back to his wife and kids.. She's left with her pride and a huge pile of guilt and some wannabe teenie toxic friends.... Sounds like a great life, doesn't it......
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

Survival Instructions for Newbies
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #27 on: July 17, 2017, 03:18:09 AM »
Yeah I know....She is sooooooo much better than this to. So hard to see. Life has just left her.
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Offline Thunder

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #28 on: July 17, 2017, 04:50:56 AM »
Geo, their all better than this.

I've never heard of ONE MLCer who actually bettered themselves in their crisis.

They lose integrity, trust..you name it.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #29 on: July 17, 2017, 05:29:22 AM »
Thunder...if no one has nominated you for an award yet, let me be the first. I see you all over this board, you just absolutely refuse to allow anyone to get down and stay there and I think it's awesome. It's like you are the Oprah of the LBS community. Not to ignore any of the others out there, Ursa Major and OP kind of take on the Dr. Phil role(no offence intended if any given) and many others contribute often and in many ways. But every three to five posts, Thunder cracks and when she does, she brings the goods. I can't even begin to tell you how reassuring it is to throw out some of the things on here that I do and have you there for a pick up EVERY DAMN TIME. If ever we get the chance to meet, whatever you'll have is on me!
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

 

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