Author Topic: My Story MLC - 32 going on 14  (Read 7335 times)

Offline Thunder

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My Story Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #30 on: July 17, 2017, 06:05:58 AM »
Oh my gosh Geo, I wasn't expecting that!  :-[  :)
Thank you for those very kind words, but there are so very many people on this board I consider awesome.
I sure remember all the support and advise I got from all you lovely people.

I'm certainly no Oprah, but I'll take a margarita, please.   ;D
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline MoreWillBeRevealed

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #31 on: July 17, 2017, 11:18:41 PM »
Geo, it is indeed hard to fathom why they pick these OP. It's like they are all going back to sow their wild oats and with sketchy people. I agree, Thunder is the best as is UM. They do deserve a medal. Grateful they are here to support us!
M 4 years, together 7 1/2 years
Me 47
H 49
2014-2016: H withheld sex, love, affection, touch 100% of time.
BD1:07/20/16 "I'm not attracted to you anymore"--kicked H out and hasn't been back.
BD2: 10/17/16 OW, an ex-fiancee and an affair-down, confirmed.
Legal Separation: 10/27/16
Divorce Started: 12/2/16--I'm DONE!
Divorced 6/28/17

"I am not a one in a million kind of girl. I am a once in a lifetime kind of woman."

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #32 on: July 19, 2017, 01:10:26 PM »
So I got a call from XW wanting to know about the kids this upcoming weekend. We discuss options and she decides she will pick them up for day visits both Saturday and Sunday. During the call she expresses that she is sorry about our last exchange and that she is not with anyone but was just saying that to make me mad. Well dear it worked OK...You happy now? Is this normal for an MLCer? I feel like I ask that all the time. I guess the real answer is nothing is "normal" for an MLCer and to just expect anything huh?
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #33 on: July 19, 2017, 01:17:37 PM »
Yes, Geo, nothing, absolutely nothing, is normal in MLC!

Day visits sound like a good plan for right now for your MLCer.  Are you feeling okay with her having them? 
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #34 on: July 19, 2017, 01:36:12 PM »
Yes, especially if it is just a day visit. Other than the cocaine hangovers that kept her from getting up to take care of the babies in the beginning, she has not done anything harmful to the children and I think she even needs them to a degree at this point.

The downside is that I'll have to be available for both pick ups and drop offs and then will have to contend with 4 children who have been out at a pool all day then stuck in a car for 1.5 hours. They'll all be in such wonderful moods! I'll have just enough time to get them fed, bathed and fought to the bed only to rinse and repeat lol.
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Offline Thunder

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #35 on: July 19, 2017, 02:48:20 PM »
Why is that, Geo?  I mean why can't she pick them up and drop them off herself?
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline MoreWillBeRevealed

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #36 on: July 19, 2017, 09:13:30 PM »
Geo, were you wondering if lying about OM was normal? There are a few people on here whose MLCer admittedly created fictitious OP. They are livinvg in a fantasy world. Weird but happens. Your OW sounds to be in replay and anything goes.

Glad you are opening the door for her to have more time with the kids.
M 4 years, together 7 1/2 years
Me 47
H 49
2014-2016: H withheld sex, love, affection, touch 100% of time.
BD1:07/20/16 "I'm not attracted to you anymore"--kicked H out and hasn't been back.
BD2: 10/17/16 OW, an ex-fiancee and an affair-down, confirmed.
Legal Separation: 10/27/16
Divorce Started: 12/2/16--I'm DONE!
Divorced 6/28/17

"I am not a one in a million kind of girl. I am a once in a lifetime kind of woman."

Online gman242

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #37 on: July 20, 2017, 05:27:12 AM »
The hardest thing to realize with OP (if there is a real one for your W), is that there is something usually predatory (from one to the other or both) and definitely fundamentally broken about the whole thing.  Normal, healthy people don't get into these relationships and they don't last. My W loves to play the victim and maybe OM for her was a knight in shining armor, but he's also a dead beat himself.. it's just a matter of time until they get sick of using one another..

RCR said somewhere and I agree, even if they are the most respected person in the world, it's still and AD. Would a healthy, sane individual want the drama? Hell no.. an OP who appears to a have it all together is a pretty golf course that was built over a landfill..  Would you tell people you were living with a woman you got pregnant and she can't pay the rent because she's broke? Those people are out there looking for trouble and they're finding it; broken attracts broken and most of then end up last chance marriages. I can't tell you how many girls I dated who seemed like their whole lives were in crisis, who eventually settled for a guy who looks like a potted plant. I had one stalk me on social media for years... Nothing creepy, but I know she feels like she missed out on a great guy.

If your W is lying about the OM, she just wants to make you think she's got it going on.. that's just a sign that she realizes how unstable she is and she's putting on a face to you, living in a dream world or both..
« Last Edit: July 20, 2017, 05:29:49 AM by gman242 »

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #38 on: July 20, 2017, 09:22:07 AM »
Thunder - Yes, she will be doing the driving. My point was they get to go and wear themselves out at a pool all day, climb in to the car crying about not wanting to leave (the little ones at least) ride for 1.5 hours and arriving in the best of moods for me to fight through bath and bedtime. Rinse and repeat on Sunday. Only Sunday they'll be coming home early because she has dinner plans.

MWB - Yes I was wondering, and I don't know why. One thing I've learned but apparently haven't convinced myself of is that nothing in MLC is normal. NOTHING. I left the door open for her yes. More so for my kids. They miss their mom....badly. I'm regretting it now as we all know MLCers are master manipulators and exploiters and that is just what is happening here. If I had shut it tight in April, my kids may be well on the way to being past it by now. They only reason she has even called in the last 5 days was D14's B-Day. D11 is the only one to have taken notice.

gman - Absolutely there is something predatory. If this guy is real, and I think he is, he makes a life of pursuing people in a situation similar to my wife. He is in the restaurant business himself and knows that anyone working that kind of job on those kind of hours for that kind of pay is somewhat vulnerable. I have no doubt that there was at least some heavy flirting and texting going on. How far it went, I'll never know. Do I think he grew tired and moved on to the next bartender/waitress? most likely. Maybe he heard that she was divorced and the play thing appeal lost its luster, IDK. Not sure how much is real or fake, but last I spoke to her she did say that she only said those things to make hurt me (it did) and that she wasn't as bad off as I thought. She's apparently enrolled herself in to some real estate courses. She's under the assumption that if she can complete that and sell just one house all of her problems will go away. The financial ones anyway.

Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #39 on: July 20, 2017, 09:36:56 AM »
...and I just realized that if her telling me she is in a relationship bothers me as much as it did then I have not even come close to letting go. Myself and a few others on here I guess have the unlucky ability do differentiate thoughts from feelings. In my head and on my sleeve I have let go. Eff it right? Oh but the gut bleeds at the mention of her with OM.
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

 

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