Author Topic: My Story MLC - 32 going on 14  (Read 7333 times)

Online gman242

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My Story Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #60 on: July 25, 2017, 05:25:35 AM »
TryinSoul, I agree, that's where I'm at.

I've spent most of my life having causal sex.. so I'm not about that at this point. I wouldn't call it casual though, I'd call it buffer sex, as Morewillberevealed noted, it's more about the validation, the fun, the intimacy, without the commitments.

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #61 on: July 26, 2017, 08:26:57 AM »
Hey guys, thanks for the comments.

I don't want to give the wrong impression here. I am not currently interested in any kind of romantic relationship with anyone. Even if I was I don't have the time. In trying to GAL I have had some meetups, or social dates that for some reason always turn in to the other person wanting more and fast. Guess I just know how to find that type, XW and I basically met naked. It would be amazing to find someone to just be a friend.

The only person I am interested in having sex with is my (ex)wife, but not in her current state. This is the longest I've gone without since the first time I ever did it and now I kind of see it as a challenge to see just how long I can go. Now I am human and am susceptible to temptation just like any other man, but for the most part I am enjoying this little game of self induced celibacy. The only downside so far is that it hurts the other person when I decline and then they look at me like I have 3 eyes or something. I'm 36, about to be 37. I had a world of experience before my wife and none of it matched the places we had reached together. I'm really not missing out on anything but her.
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Online gman242

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #62 on: July 26, 2017, 09:10:52 AM »
Quote
I'm really not missing out on anything but her.

I think we all agree with you man.. I feel the same. For the first time in my life, I'm not interested in sex otherwise. It feels weird honestly.. but you're right, I'm GAL too, taking care of my son, contemplating a new career.. No time, no interest. Honestly, I miss my best friend, not the sex. But it was the same with us too, totally different places..

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #63 on: July 26, 2017, 10:38:24 AM »
So I have made a job change.

My old company, the one XW hated me working for, has been after me to come back for some time. I can't recall how much if at all I have discussed this before. It's an Managed Services and IT consulting firm. Yesterday I finally just bit the bullet and dropped by for a visit. Start date will be 9/1. I don't know if this is a good or bad move as far as XW is concerned, but I think it was a good move on my part. My current job is....boring. Too much time to think about things I ought not. I mean I'm always busy, but it is mundane and beneath my level of expertise. Now I'll be back in the fire, constantly thinking about what is in front of me. I'll also be a man among st the people once again. It's going to cut about a half hour off of my commute each way, compensation is much better, benefits are better, and I'll be back with a group of guys I've been with for 9 years prior to last year. I'm excited. When I left there I stopped by an old customer site, a small CPA firm for a visit. It was awesome. It had only been a year since I left and you would have thought them seeing me in the lobby was the second coming. This I think will be a huge step for me in being able to detach and let go. Will probably send her through the roof, but I've been wrong every time I've tried to guess at MLC lol.

I will be losing my company car and free gas though. That kind of sucks.
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

Offline Thunder

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #64 on: July 26, 2017, 10:58:25 AM »
Geo,

I think it sounds like a very good move for you right now. Being busy and challenged is great for taking you're mind off things.

Congrats!   :)
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #65 on: July 26, 2017, 11:49:51 AM »
Quote
Will probably send her through the roof, .....

Geo,

2 words.... (OK, could be 4) Who (the firetruck) cares?

It is YOUR job, YOUR life.... xW is no longer driving the train, no longer has the right of first refusal or to have any input whatsoever.....

She probably hated it because you COULD have been meeting other, more attractive (remember that our Mid-Lifers are HORRIBLY insecure!) women in that job... You know <nudge, nudge, wink, wink> gettin' a litte "afternoon delight" on the job?... After all, do as they say, not what they do or, as it is also know... "Gee Mid-Lifer. Project much lately?"
Me - 56
xW - 49
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online gman242

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #66 on: July 26, 2017, 11:56:41 AM »
I noted that too and was going to say I agree with UM.. it's the pot calling the kettle black. I had the same situation with W and that's part of the reason I changed jobs.. Too many uncomfortable situations with faculty and students. I left for more pay.. but boy was she projecting. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a jealous phase before the MLC hits.. Angry that you're out there, chatting up office ladies.. Well now it's her turn too dammit.  >:(

Do what makes you feel good. 40 hours a week is too long to spend being miserable.

Offline Thunder

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #67 on: July 26, 2017, 12:01:21 PM »
I don't think so gman.

I think their too into themselves to really care what you are doing.
They may use it as an excuse to fool around, but it really has nothing to do with you at all.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Online gman242

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #68 on: July 26, 2017, 12:16:58 PM »
Not personally, no. I think that's where the projecting and justifying comes in. In a stable relationship, one wouldn't assume the other is out there cavorting just because they can.

Offline 80GeoTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: MLC - 32 going on 14
« Reply #69 on: July 26, 2017, 01:17:37 PM »
UM...you kill me  ;D

Yes, she was always jealous while on the old(now new again) job. Part of the reason I switched to my current job was to hopefully alleviate some of that stress. It did not work. After starting the current job, I almost immediately went to war with a female peer over company cell phone policy. Jealousy brewed. Just before last Christmas I had to move my office in to another room that was a shared office with a married female who's husband also works here. We didn't have overhead lights for a week due to a remodeling accident. Telling XW that was a HUGE mistake. Never mind we each have lights in our cubicle, and a 6'X6' window, still pretty bright in the daytime. And of course there is little sis. And just today I was told she thinks I am attracted to her best friend who I have always held in highest disgust. This is the person who is the real physical alienator.

UM, I wouldn't firetruck this woman with your hose and Gman on the ladder for $1M
Married 11/05/05
BD 1/13/17
Moved out with kids 4/6/17
D Final 6/20/17
DONE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9-bTdvgyV4

 

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