Author Topic: My Story Love and Memories  (Read 5736 times)

Offline handpuppetsTopic starter

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My Story Love and Memories
« on: August 10, 2017, 12:09:01 PM »
Previous Threads:
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=6918.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7369.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=7882.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8105.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8579.0


The title of my latest thread comes from the following song that Mr. HP recently played for me in his new car and is currently learning how to play on his guitar.


Love and Memories - O.A.R.
----
Lovely, you're always lovely
A vision
You were the one
Now I am stuck inside a memory
You forgot about our destiny
You buried me
Didn't you?
Didn't you?

Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drowning deep inside your water
Drowning deep inside your sound

You're always floating
A vapor
That I couldn't see
Here I am stuck inside a yesterday
Everything has given way
You fell from me
Didn't you?
Didn't you?

Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drowning deep inside your water
Drowning deep inside your sound
Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drowning deep inside your water
Drown in love and memories

Maybe I am a crowded mind
I watch your eyes glaze over
Stared down at the floor
You were amazing to me
I was amazing to you
But here we go again

Didn't you
Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drowning deep inside your water
Drowning deep inside your sound
Love me faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drowning deep inside your water
Drown in love and memories

Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpea4Nlzs1U
« Last Edit: August 10, 2017, 12:23:10 PM by handpuppets »
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” -Anne Lamott

Offline handpuppetsTopic starter

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2017, 12:19:17 PM »
Recap
----
Me: 46
H: 43
D8

-6.5 years since BD (January 2011); together ~13 years at time of BD.
-4 years since the divorce was finalized (June 2013); married 10 years at time of D.

OW1 (pre-D)/OW2 (immediately post-D); both no longer in picture. He was single for ~1.5 years until OP showed up on the scene last summer; she lives ~2500 miles away and is an old family friend. They went to high school together. She came on the scene shortly after his father fell ill and almost died last year. They see each other every ~6-8 weeks. He's recently admitted that he is struggling with depression (overt liminality).

We have a fairly good co-parenting relationship and have spent a good amount of time together as a family during and since his "single" period. We recently spent a week together overseas for a family vacation. I would consider us reconnecting.

Welcome to my sixth thread.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2017, 12:26:16 PM by handpuppets »
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” -Anne Lamott

Offline 31andcounting

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2017, 12:42:15 PM »
Welcome to your new thread hand!
(hugs)
31
Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline Reallytrying

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2017, 12:56:14 PM »
Attaching. Along for the journey.

Offline The lighthouse

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2017, 01:18:58 PM »
Attaching HP, and hoping things continue to progress.
M 1992
BD June 2011
Still with OW - No legal action

I am the lighthouse. I don't go out into the storm after the ship.  The ship finds me.

Offline heroIam

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2017, 01:33:10 PM »
HP.
Following along on your new and "progressive" thread.
“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Offline handpuppetsTopic starter

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2017, 11:51:44 AM »
While sitting next to Mr. HP at the pool yesterday evening while D8 was taking her swimming lesson, he turned to me and asked me to smell his shirt... that he was wearing. I initially looked at him like WTH. He explained that he smelled something and wasn't sure if it was just him. I smelled his shirt (top of shoulder) and told him that it smelled like him (man, there was a flood of memories right there). He then said something about washing all of his clothes in Woolite. They are so strange.
« Last Edit: August 11, 2017, 12:15:55 PM by handpuppets »
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” -Anne Lamott

Offline handpuppetsTopic starter

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #7 on: August 11, 2017, 12:00:01 PM »
Thanks 31, RT, TL, and Hero for the warm wishes. I cannot believe that it's been two years since I started posting here. I reread my threads yesterday and there has definitely been some progress albeit sloooooooow as molasses but progress nonetheless. 

I don't expect to see Mr. HP this coming weekend. He'll be away this weekend but in-state. Noticeable pattern: he cannot be home alone when he doesn't have D8. She and I will keep busy visiting friends this weekend.

I'll see him first thing Monday morning as I have an early morning meeting aand he'll be here to help get D8 to day camp.
« Last Edit: August 11, 2017, 12:16:46 PM by handpuppets »
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” -Anne Lamott

Offline Onward

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #8 on: August 11, 2017, 09:50:06 PM »
Following along, HP.
The 'smell my clothes'...well, I hardly know what to say. WTH? But......inching closer. :-)

"and though she be but little, she is fierce" - Shakespeare

Offline handpuppetsTopic starter

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #9 on: August 12, 2017, 11:05:44 AM »
Onward, it was such a strange request given our relationship status. Chalk it up to one of the mysteries of this journey.

Mr. HP went NC on me yesterday (to be fair, I didn't bid either). Wondering if he'll do it again. He texted D8 last night after we were already in bed. I did an energy healing on myself this morning and pulled cords in an effort to find my center but still have that quesy stomach feeling. I wonder if it ever goes fully away after all this crap.
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” -Anne Lamott

 

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