Author Topic: My Story Love and Memories  (Read 5548 times)

Offline KeepItTogether

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My Story Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #130 on: May 11, 2018, 12:43:24 AM »
Oooooh I love a good purge! You go girl! I don’t know why, but throwing sh!te away that doesn’t serve me makes me feel quite productive !
Me 46
H 45
S11
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo.

Offline hopeandfaith

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #131 on: May 11, 2018, 02:50:59 AM »
I've been purging too.  I can actually walk into my wardrobe now.  Threw 6 bags of rubbish away and gave 2 bags to charity.  I haven't cleaned out the closet in 16 years  ;D
BD's in May 09, Sept 12 - suspected OW
Left home Jan 12 2013
OW confirmed Feb 2013
Moved home April 11 2014
BD again in April 2017 - clinging. 
Moved out July 2017
D18, D16 and S14

Offline heroIam

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #132 on: May 11, 2018, 07:00:02 AM »
HP,
I've been purging the last flipping 3 years! Very therapeutic.   :o

It does feel good to get rid of stuff. Been regularly recycling my clothes.  Purge some, buy some!   :P
 My thing now is re-decorating/re-modeling.  Been really enjoying HGTV and getting ideas. 
“In the end, you’ve got to be your own hero because everyone’s busy trying to save themselves.”

Offline handpuppetsTopic starter

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #133 on: May 23, 2018, 04:52:27 PM »
So.. the purge has continued in the form of a house burglary.  :(

On Monday afternoon, someone broke into the house through our front door and grabbed my laptop and ALL of the jewelry from the dresser in my bedroom. My mother was home at the time but was gardening in the back yard and didn't hear anything. Thankfully, she wasn't hurt and D9 wasn't there. I still have my favorite necklace (was wearing it) and my wedding rings were in a different location. It totally sucks to lose some special pieces of jewelry (that I wore all the time) and sentimental things, but there is also part of me that feels super light. I get the opportunity to start a new collection of jewelry and can be much more discerning in what I choose to keep and wear.

Mr. HP went into Papa Bear mode as soon as I told him what happened. He came right over, make arrangements for D9 to stay with a family friend, helped us clean up the mess, and get the door secured.

Overall, I'm okay. Still feeling a bit out of sorts though.
« Last Edit: May 23, 2018, 04:55:58 PM by handpuppets »
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” -Anne Lamott

Offline The lighthouse

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #134 on: May 23, 2018, 05:25:16 PM »
So sorry to hear about the burglary HP  :(.  That sort of thing really shakes you up...the invasion of your personal space as much as the loss of things.

I'm glad Mr HP was there for you and D9.  Also glad that your mother was in the garden when it happened!

I hope you feel more settled soon.  I hope they find the culprit/s.  Either way, there's always room for new jewelry ;).
M 1992
BD June 2011
Still with OW - No legal action

I am the lighthouse. I don't go out into the storm after the ship.  The ship finds me.

Offline 31andcounting

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #135 on: May 23, 2018, 06:40:33 PM »
Oh my! I’m so sorry hand! This is terrible but I’m so glad you are ok!
Sending strength and good thoughts!
Thankfully mr-hp did right 💕
(Hugs)
31
Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline KeepItTogether

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #136 on: May 23, 2018, 08:04:15 PM »
Mr. HP stepped up. I like it.

All the other stuff sucks so bad. Such a terrible intrusion. And scary too. And all the sentimental things taken. Hurts my heart.  Happy no one was harmed and that mr. Hp was there for you. ❤️ And your sweet D of course.,
Me 46
H 45
S11
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo.

Offline Dumbfounded

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #137 on: May 23, 2018, 08:43:37 PM »
How terrible!! I am glad that everyone is safe but sad for the loss of some of your treasures.
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

Offline UrsaMajor

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #138 on: May 24, 2018, 01:43:18 AM »
That is such a horrible feeling - the invasion is often worse than the actual theft....

At least Mr. HP stepped up to help.... And that Mom was in the garden... they may have rang the bell and when she didn't answer it, thought no one was at home...
Me - 54
MLC - 47
Together 20 years - Married for 17 at separation
S - 11
D - 7
2 Canines (each of us has one)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold and separated - March 2016
Mid-Lifer is initiating D

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Offline handpuppetsTopic starter

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Re: Love and Memories
« Reply #139 on: June 07, 2018, 05:08:40 PM »
Thanks for the messages, TL, 31, KIT, DF, and UM. <3

I'm still trying to put together of list of stolen items for the insurance company. Have spent most of this week trying to restore files from backup onto my new laptop. Work is busy and I'm mentally spent. It's been very up and down for me over the past three weeks.

The burglary had shaken me more than I previously thought which lead to a huge meltdown over Memorial Day weekend, triggered by our parenting calendar, where I acknowledged that I failed to give him the benefit of the doubt (I make assumptions about his intent based on how he schedules things) and that I didn't know what to do with all the anger and hurt I have still over us splitting up (this was all over text too). To me, the calendar represents him choosing him over choosing us. To his credit, he did his best to listen to me and said that he wished he could make things better somehow.

[Our parenting calendar isn't set in stone like traditional D agreements; we have set Th-M weekends but flexibility was built in so that he could accommodate work travel during the week; only this makes it where I have to deal with the calendar every month since our weekdays are not set until the month before. I told him during my meltdown that it's not working for me but no concrete plans yet to change the process.]

Things were a little awkward afterwards but we resumed our normal text banter talking about random non-personal stuff. We've even had a few convos on the phone and in person talking about "business" stuff. Though during one of our face-to-face convos about summer plans, I asked straight out about family vacations and he told me that, right now, there would be no more family vacations; that he had "other things he wanted to do with his time" and that we "get into it" when we are together for more than a couple of days. That was very hard to hear.

To make things more confusing, he invited me in for a drink after I dropped off D9 on Saturday night. I stayed for an hour chit chatting with him and then left for home. Then yesterday he told me that he is not around this weekend. Given it's around the six week mark since OP was here last, I'm guessing he is off to see her before his work trip next week. I know... I shouldn't assume but I am.

All of this to say... I am super stuck mentally. I believe I have been called to Stand but with the five year mark since the D was made final looming (~two weeks), I am becoming more and more upset and agitated by things. I was able to accept that he was with OW2 around their year mark (then they broke up shortly thereafter and she moved back to her home state). But I don't seem to be able to do that with OP and they are at the two year mark. I am exploring the idea of getting an annulment but that brings up lots of emotions. Why am I struggling with all this?
« Last Edit: June 07, 2018, 05:24:09 PM by handpuppets »
“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” -Anne Lamott

 

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