Author Topic: My Story Reconnecting Chapter 5  (Read 4973 times)

Offline KeepItTogether

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My Story Reconnecting Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2017, 04:45:07 PM »
Prayers for both of you. And happy you have each other during this trying time.
Me 47
H 46
S12
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

Offline MadeTopic starter

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2017, 12:42:19 PM »
She had the surgery and it was successful. Most of the recovery is going well although it is a tough day today in the hospital. They missed her pain meds in the middle of the night so she is having a tough time catching up. One thing - NONE of her family called the day before her surgery, not one. Multiple members of MY family called. Her parents went away and were not reading their emails while they were away and their daughter was getting part of her lung removed so that she could survive lung cancer and her parents did not looked at their email. What the firetruck is wrong with those people. To make matters worse her nephews common law wife came into my business and chit chatted as nothing was happening and she had been here all week. Not a card no flowers, nothing. I am furious with her family but not letting it show to her yet I know she is more than hurt. She is changed.

I am grateful to God, the medical team and for all the prayers. She should come home either tomorrow or Monday.

Peace
But by God's grace I am what I am.

March 22, 2015 But it is true, I no longer see myself as the problem or as the solution.

Feb 1, 2017 no hope = no expectations = no disappointments

Aug. 8, 2017 She has lung cancer
Sept. 12th 2017 She has surgery and is expected to fully recover and be cured

Offline OffRoad

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #12 on: September 16, 2017, 05:11:15 PM »
This right here tells you why your wife ended up in MLC. People who are emotionally neglected have no reference for how to act when the going gets tough, or weird, or their brain gets fuzzy. Normal people lean into each other when things get hard. MLC people want to cut and run, because no one was there for them as children, they have no reference for how to be there for others.

Wishes for a speedy recovery, and good prognosis. You are incredible, Made.

How are you and the kids doing? I know they are adults, but it's hard watching a parent go through these things.
When life gives you lemons, make SALSA!

Offline Anjae

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #13 on: September 17, 2017, 03:54:30 PM »
I am glad to know your wife's surgery went well. Made.

Second what Offroad wrote.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline rosecoloredglasses

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #14 on: September 17, 2017, 04:27:18 PM »
Glad the surgery went well.  Sorry to hear about the relatives not being supportive.  That is disappointing but I agree with OR, too. 

M-45
H-54
D-13
S-10
D-6

Offline MadeTopic starter

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #15 on: September 17, 2017, 10:20:44 PM »
Thanks everyone, I appreciate your posts. OR is totally right my family keeps reaching out to my wife in sincere empathy and she has a difficult time accepting it because her family are such @$$holes. I mean the woman has lung cancer and her mother emails "tell D53 that we are with her all the way" no love mom nothing. SAD Meanwhile she has been vacaying it while her daughter lies in a hospital bed SICK. If her other daughter (the golden one) had this circumstance she would be bedside every minute of every day and my wife knows that too. That is pretty hard to take.  Yes so no wonder MLC presents itself at age 50.

The last 48 hours she has been withdrawing from all the chemistry they have been giving her for pain and its been pretty bad. I think she is over the worst of it now and while she still has a pneumo-thorax the specialist feels after confirmation of an x-ray tomorrow she can come home. I know that hospital and the ward like the back of my hand, gratefully our staff has been holding our business together with only a minimum input from me.

My D21 started school (again for the 1st time since high school) the same day her Mom went for surgery so she has had a challenging week (it seems like 3). She is holding up really well considering she has depression and anxiety disorders. The same day as her Mom's surgery she found out her almost mother-in-law has been diagnosed with colon cancer.  A tough week for sure.

S20 is having a more difficult time as we are in the same hospital where he also most died two years ago. My W and I think PTSD is showing up as he having a tough time focusing and sleeping. Hard to see his Mom go through similiar recovery as he did. He did say they will have to get the same tattoos now that they are chest tube buddies so I suppose some humour is good. He has been out late every night with new friends (we are grateful for the friends but not the hours) .

Me: I am strong and as someone here said have been getting prepared for this the last 3.5 years. Its been a hard 3.5 years I have to tell you. MLC, my sons health, my daughters health, my health and now my wifes health and cancer to boot.

However I know God loves us and He loves you too.
Peace,
But by God's grace I am what I am.

March 22, 2015 But it is true, I no longer see myself as the problem or as the solution.

Feb 1, 2017 no hope = no expectations = no disappointments

Aug. 8, 2017 She has lung cancer
Sept. 12th 2017 She has surgery and is expected to fully recover and be cured

Offline BBhelp

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2017, 09:12:44 AM »
Amen Brother...

Hang in there and Stay Strong.  You are the right man for this job!
First Thread:  Back After A Long Break http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8080.0

Random Thoughts From Hard Earned Lessons: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8194.0

Offline 31andcounting

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #17 on: September 18, 2017, 09:18:47 AM »
Sending prayers and strength for all of you Made!
(hugs)
31
Hurting people hurt people :(

Offline MadeTopic starter

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #18 on: September 19, 2017, 01:29:09 PM »
we are home after a little scare about a pneumothorax
she called her Mom yesterday to tell her the hospital stay was again extended, her Mom did not ask her how she was or how the recovery was going, just talked about her vacay and the weather. My wife actually asked "do you have any questions for me?" crickets...

then she blamed me for suggesting that I call them, then blamed my mother for wanting to visit - at least I know where its coming from now.

She is home safe and sound and hopefully will fully recover quickly. Thanks for you prayers and encouragement
But by God's grace I am what I am.

March 22, 2015 But it is true, I no longer see myself as the problem or as the solution.

Feb 1, 2017 no hope = no expectations = no disappointments

Aug. 8, 2017 She has lung cancer
Sept. 12th 2017 She has surgery and is expected to fully recover and be cured

Offline Thunder

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #19 on: September 19, 2017, 01:47:58 PM »
Grrr...with a mother like that you don't need an enemy.  My goodness she is cold potato.
Was her mother like that, too?

Sending lots of prayers for your whole family.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

 

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