Author Topic: My Story Reconnecting Chapter 5  (Read 5321 times)

Offline MadeTopic starter

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My Story Reconnecting Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #70 on: December 25, 2017, 06:36:42 AM »
Merry Christmas everyone and thanks for everything these last 3 plus years > without you I would not have made it this far.
Peace on earth, goodwill to all.
But by God's grace I am what I am.

March 22, 2015 But it is true, I no longer see myself as the problem or as the solution.

Feb 1, 2017 no hope = no expectations = no disappointments

Aug. 8, 2017 She has lung cancer
Sept. 12th 2017 She has surgery and is expected to fully recover and be cured

Offline Thunder

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #71 on: December 25, 2017, 06:41:37 AM »
Thank you Made, the same to you.   :)
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

Offline Mary A

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #72 on: January 04, 2018, 04:24:46 PM »
I hope you have a great 2018!
M: 43
H 49
T : 26
BD: April, 2016
EA: discovered March,27, 2017. Lasted for about 6 months.

Offline MadeTopic starter

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #73 on: January 05, 2018, 07:41:10 AM »
I went back on Anti Depressants today. I could not handle the anxiety attacks any longer. Of course there is no guarantee this will be the end of them but it helped a lot the last two times I was on them. The doctor was helpful in explaining depression as a liar/enemy. The disease will make you think lies are true even the physical symptoms are lies and especially the hopelessness is a lie. This connects well with me, it gives me a little hope already.
She also said that a tell tale sign of depression is when there is nothing to be depressed over. Which is true for me right now. My marriage is on the mend, the kids are progressing well, business is doing well, my faith is strong. There is nothing to be depressed over, yet every little thing that happens in the world sends me. I get super upset about things that don't even involve me. and of course the anxiety...

There is some truth in the idea of being under a super-strain effects you down the road and this may be the after effects of all the stress of the last 4 years. That would be a reason I suppose. Never the less I have depression.

My wife noticed something was wrong a week or so ago and she laid down with me one night and asked if I was sick but she is a person who believes that depression is something you can just "get over". She did ask last night if there was something she could do, I asked her "don't be mad I am sad" She is probably pretty mad I said that but that is what I think she thinks. Maybe that's the liar too. I am going to buy a SAD light to see if that helps as well.

She is working hard with the trainer and it is really paying off for her. I am encouraging her to keep going for the whole year. Very expensive but as I said its the best investment she can make.
But by God's grace I am what I am.

March 22, 2015 But it is true, I no longer see myself as the problem or as the solution.

Feb 1, 2017 no hope = no expectations = no disappointments

Aug. 8, 2017 She has lung cancer
Sept. 12th 2017 She has surgery and is expected to fully recover and be cured

Offline Thunder

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Re: Chapter 5
« Reply #74 on: January 05, 2018, 08:17:19 AM »
Hi Made,

Depression is nothing to ignore.  I'm glad you are back on the ADs for now.  I will help you with these running thoughts.

I agree, it is most likely from everything you've gone through.

It's like in and accident you can jump into gear and save everyone, but much later it effects you.

I think it's a good sign your W is noticing something is wrong.  She's feeling for you again.

Let us know how the meds work.
Also it may be helpful to talk to someone.  There may be more to the depression that you're not even aware of.
The ADs can help you feel better but they can't get rid of what's causing the depression.  If you've been on them 2 other times it may indicate that you need a little counseling too.
A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

 

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