Author Topic: MLC Monster Vanisher - Return Stories #2  (Read 5682 times)

Offline BrenMTopic starterTopic starter

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1183
  • Gender: Female
MLC Monster Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2018, 03:15:16 AM »
are you still adding more posts? i remember reading happy agains thread sometime ago but can't find it. i think you said you might be able to post that on here. did you find it?

Kit - That is what I am searching - as per your PM.  I have some of his responses but not all.  I will find it for you lol
Me 47
Him 47
OW 32
Married - 20 years
Together - 28 years
BD - Nov 2014 - reason for affair said I controlled his life, wore flannelette pyjama pants to bed and drove our family car 🤔
Moved in with Young OW and her 2 kids Jan 2015
Total Vanisher
Divorced Sept 2016
S21, S17, S16 (autism), D14

🌹🌹Let's be real...Bren is the only one who can do Bren. I'm the best Bren on the planet. Trying to turn a skank into a Bren? That will surely end in disappointment, if it hasn't already.🌹🌹

❤❤Family isn't an important thing.  IT IS EVERYTHING!! ❤❤



Vanished Return Stories Thread #1 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9088.0;all
Vanisher Return Stories Link Thread #2 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9378.new#new

Offline Anjae

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16547
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2018, 03:25:07 AM »
Do you mind answering my previous post, Bren?

I don't think what you are posting has that much to do with real vanishers nor with people who have had a spouse in MLC for 5, 7, 9, 10, 12 or more years.

Exactly what is the idea of posting about people who have been gone for two years and got back together?

Who is Happy Against? Why posting personal messages?
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline Acorn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3100
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #12 on: November 30, 2018, 06:07:57 AM »
Can moderator’s clarify, please?

My questions is:

Are HS members allowed to publicly share the content (in its entirety, or with info that can identify the sender) and the identity of the senders of PM’s, no matter how old these might be?

It is important that I know a definitive answer to this.
It the answer is yes, I would definitely discontinue using PM’s.

I understand if sections of PM’s are mentioned in a post to clarify or used as a discussion point to promote learning and sharing with others.  However, I would be alarmed if my PM’s were quoted in whole and with my name attached to it.  That’s just me.  Privacy matters great deal to me.

Thanks!
« Last Edit: November 30, 2018, 06:29:22 AM by Acorn »
Live-in MLCer
Feb 2015: BD.  H has a Nuclear meltdown. 
Oct 2015: ILYBIANILWY.
Apr 2016: Affair discovered
Dec 2017: Seriously reconnecting

Offline OldPilot

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12896
  • Gender: Male
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #13 on: November 30, 2018, 06:35:26 AM »
Can moderator’s clarify, please?

My questions is:

Are HS members allowed to publicly share the content (in its entirety, or with info that can identify the sender) and the identity of the senders of PM’s, no matter how old these might be?

It is important that I know a definitive answer to this.
It the answer is yes, I would definitely discontinue using PM’s.

I understand if sections of PM’s are mentioned in a post to clarify or used as a discussion point to promote learning and sharing with others.  However, I would be alarmed if my PM’s were quoted in whole and with my name attached to it.  That’s just me.  Privacy matters great deal to me.

Thanks!
I would think that if you were to do that you would have permission of both parties to publicly publish a PM.

If this happens please notify me of the post and I will take care of it for you.

Offline Anjae

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16547
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #14 on: November 30, 2018, 06:51:42 AM »
There is no Happy Again member on HS. The private message is from another board. Why is it here, no idea.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline OldPilot

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12896
  • Gender: Male
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2018, 07:03:38 AM »
There is no Happy Again member on HS. The private message is from another board. Why is it here, no idea.
I dont see any PM's on this thread, a quote from this post

https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9378.msg698200#msg698200

if the parties involved have an issue with something please let me know.

also from the other board those are public posts NOT personal messages.

I can copy and paste this from the other forum too.



nicola52214
Member

Offline Offline

Posts: 882



Email  Personal Message (Offline)


The above comes from copying the ID of the PUBLIC poster

Offline Mitzpah

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • Posts: 6067
  • Gender: Female
  • How I long for your precepts! Psalm 119:40
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2018, 10:51:27 AM »



The above comes from copying the ID of the PUBLIC poster

True! This has nothing to do with personal messages.

It is just a copy and paste from another board.
M 57
H 57
S 27
D 24
BD 13 Dec 2010
Divorced 27 Feb 2015 (30 years marriage)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

Offline Anjae

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16547
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2018, 11:10:23 AM »
The above comes from copying the ID of the PUBLIC poster

Good to know.

Still don't understand what the posts have to do with vanishers. Just because a MLCer leaves and/or goes live with OW/OM that does not mean the MLCer is a vanisher. Clingers do that. On/Off do that. Therefore, what makes those people vanishers?

We all know people reconnect/reconcile. We all also know most will not.

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline 1trouble

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2052
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #18 on: November 30, 2018, 12:05:35 PM »
The above comes from copying the ID of the PUBLIC poster

Still don't understand what the posts have to do with vanishers. Just because a MLCer leaves and/or goes live with OW/OM that does not mean the MLCer is a vanisher. Clingers do that. On/Off do that. Therefore, what makes those people vanishers?

We all know people reconnect/reconcile. We all also know most will not.



I really don't understand your problem Anjae,  Bren is doing this to help people and to give them some sort of hope, what on earth is wrong with that......don't you remember what it was like for you in the early days didn't you search for something, anything to hold onto? and if you don't like it or don't get it, then don't read it

Personally even though my own story has taken tough horrible turns it cheers me up to read things like Bren is posting, not to give me hope but to read others genuine happiness.  It gives this site a bit of positive balance....
"I can't go back to yesterday I was a different person then"..............Alice in Wonderland

you NEVER know how strong you are, until being strong is the ONLY choice you have"

Offline Anjae

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 16547
  • Gender: Female
Re: Vanisher - Return Stories #2
« Reply #19 on: November 30, 2018, 12:17:43 PM »
There is nothing wrong with hope.

However the thread is titled Vanisher - Return Stories #2. Therefore, it should only have stories of vanishers who returned.

By posting return stories without knowing what type of MLCer they belong to, it is a disservice to those of us with real vanishers.

It is also a little misleading that most of the stories posted are from people with a MLCer that was gone for two years. Two years? Not certain how that helps most of us, who have MLCers gone for far, far longer.

There are several threads on HS with return stories. So, unless all the return stories on this thread are from real vanishers, it does not make sense to post them in a thread for vanishers.

I never said I didn't like it. Why would't I like return stories? Only that I don't understand the point of posting about random MLCers on a thread for returning vanishers and that two years is not the norm for returns.

One cannot say a MLCer is a vanisher because the MLCer left and/or moved in with OW/OM. All types of MLCers do that.

All I see on the posts is that the MLCer left, was away for a while, some got together with the alienator, then returned, That does not make them vanishers.

What exactly makes the people of Bren's posts vanishers? Maybe Bren forgot some of us have real vanishers?

Holding on to the idea MLCers are back in two years is not great. Most of them are not.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

 

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk
Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.