[Velika]

Differential diagnosis is challenging even for professionals. That is why many people take years to receive a correct diagnosis.

We are just on a forum, curious about what we are observing and wanting to learn and understand more. I just posted an areticle about a husband-wife pair, working separately and in different fields, were able to learn more about the possible cause of autism. Sometimes it's nice to take an open and curious approach.

I think it is helpful that we are discussing these symptoms here, even if there may be multiple causes. Maybe if people come to this forum wondering why their spouse doesn't care about them anymore, or is giving them a cruel smirk as they helplessly attempt to communicate, they will come to see that this is not what they think it is. Perhaps their spouse simply cannot feel the same emotion or behave in the way they once did.

I felt bewildered and creeped out by my FH initial post bomb drop behavior. Now that I can understand this may be the symptom of various types of illness, it helps me to understand and work through this trauma.

bv is acknowledging that getting a spouse in this condition to the doctor may be impossible. She mentioning these small tips to help us see if our spouse cannot detect irony etc. I do not see a link where she is posting to buy her special 10-step guidebook to curing bvFTD. She is just sharing what she has learned. I think it's interesting! I'm learning a lot from this thread.

[bvFTD]

Ready2Transform:

On further research you are also correct. I was talking about orafacial dyskinesia, but I just came across a paper which states, "Hyperkinetic movement disorders such as motor and verbal stereotypies are seen in 78% of ftd patients. Other hyperkinetic movements, such as chorea, orafacial dyskinesia a, myoclonus and dystonia are also observed in some patients with ftd. ( ncbi.nlm.nih,gov)

I told H neurologist about H's nighttime myoclonus. H smashed me a couple time in the face with an out flung arm while he fitfully slept. I read somewhere that the disorders events inhibition of dream movements.

[Anjae]

You are right, Velika, bvFTD is not trying to sell anything. No one said she was. Like no one denied FTd exists and is a terible, terrible illness.

What we don't buy is that our spouses have FTD.

Differential diagnosis is challenging even for professionals. That is why many people take years to receive a correct diagnosis.

It is. Very challenging. Which is why one should not try to say that behaviour x or thing z means illness w. They may not. At all.

I am fairly certain that for pretty much everyone here the reason is MLC. If you read through the threads, including of those in reconnection or reconciled, or those that don't yet have the purple icon, but are already getting closer and closer to their MLCer, you will notice many had totally insane behaviour at BD and even afterwards.

Do you know Mr J totally lost it? And I mean, lost it. Going so far as trying to push me - and the baby we though I was carrying - down the stairs, after he had dragged me through the flat's foor. Next day he didn't remember a thing about what he had done. Do you remember LP's telling her husband also tried do kill her and that, now, some five years down the road, he is trying to get closer to her - she is not interested.

And In It's husband nearly left her dead.

Some of us have truly crazy MLCer, but many years down the road they are fine, they don't have a degenerative disease. It was the MLC crazy and psychotic episodes.

However, some people that start by having a MLC end up with something else. Like Pixie's husband. We don't know what he end up with, she stop posting, he lived away from her, but what she used to post was beyond the pale. At a point, on top of his PTSD and MLC something else happened to her husband. Bipolar? FTD? Schizophrenia? Constant psychosis (he drunk and took too many drugs)? Who knows. All we know is that Pixie's husband went down a very ugly, terrible path and become an mental, psychological and physical mess.

She mentioning these small tips to help us see if our spouse cannot detect irony etc

But even if our spouse cannot detect irony, etc, that, in itself, does not mean much. It is something that hapens with several illesses. How were we going to know which one it was? We weren't.

Maybe if people come to this forum wondering why their spouse doesn't care about them anymore, or is giving them a cruel smirk as they helplessly attempt to communicate, they will come to see that this is not what they think it is. Perhaps their spouse simply cannot feel the same emotion or behave in the way they once did.

But what if it is just what they think it is? It is impossible to tell the difference, isn't it? Of course the MLCer cannot feel the same emotion or behave in the way they once did. That is one of the signs of MLC.

Like with Kikki's husband, Mr J's smirk was from mania. It showed when we was being manic. Years after, I have seen the same smirk in Bipolar patients on a manic phase.

Even if we weren't anonymous, I don't have any photo of Mr J's smirk. They happened back in late 2006 and early 2007, and, trust me, even if I had a camera around, taking a picture would be the last thing on my mind. I was too busy trying to safe myself. I have a picture in my mind. Now in the very back of my mind, and, right now, I don't really want to see it. It was horrible.

Like Ready2's and Kikki's husband, Mr J was expressing something. Something nasty. As for sarcasm, Mr J is the king of sarcasm. Nasty, cruel, awful sarcarms. One of the many reasons I don't want to have contact with him.

Even with photos we may get it wrong. We know the meaning of some of the technical terms, and can look up any we want, but we are not experts. We do have to be careful with some things.

We are just on a forum, curious about what we are observing and wanting to learn and understand more. I just posted an areticle about a husband-wife pair, working separately and in different fields, were able to learn more about the possible cause of autism. Sometimes it's nice to take an open and curious approach.

She is just sharing what she has learned. I think it's interesting! I'm learning a lot from this thread.

Now, more or less. At first, and for a while, bvFTD was saying all our spouses had FTD. And a few posts back she said to Chriss that Chriss husband's smirk was dyskinesia. bvFTD didn't saw Chriss husband, and dyskinesia only occurs in very specific circ0ntances - see the list I post.

That is not just sharing what one has learned, is diagnosing people. And scaring the hell out of newbies.

People come here in turmoil, frighten, scared, they want to talk, to vent, to have someone listening to them and offering some support. They are not at a point of dealing with a bunch of super complicated neurology stuff.

Kikki, Ready2, myself and a few others, far down the road, and who have a interests in these matters, can discuss them, but most here are not here to discuss neurology.

[ChrissYAH]

I have no idea what is wrong with him all I know he is NOT WELL, and theres nothing I can do about it, he's married her, I and my kids are in the past like he's trashed us and pretends we were nothing to him, that we didn't 'happen' he's made his new life a new beginning.

[bvFTD]

Chriss:

I agree with you. Your husband is unwell. But his new life is not a new beginning. It will be the death of him.

Love and strength to all of us.

[xyzcf]

Chris:

Your husband is in a crisis. It will not be the death of him and for bvFTD to suggest such a thing is hurtful and wrong!!!!!

Many people who have a mid life crisis must resolve issues that have been plaguing them for many years of their lives. Many people who are having a mid life crisis, are actually better people once they get through the crisis.

A many of us have stated, continue to try and find your own peace and balance in life. Life is too short, our kids grow up so fast.

We can only be responsible for ourselves and creating a life that is one that matters to us.

bvFTD, you are doing a GREAT disservice to many many posters by continuing to push your agenda whatever it is. You are not in a position to diagnose any of our spouses and to do so, and to cause people to be even more upset and scared is a terrible thing to do.

I would suggest bvFTD, that YOU find yourself a good therapist to figure out why you feel the need to cause even more distress in other people's lives.

[bvFTD]

xyzcf:

Please don't attack or get personal with me. Do not suggest I see a therapist. You are out of line and in denial.

[bvFTD]

I will tell you something, xyzcf:

My youngest son was required to see a therapist, mandated by the court in all divorces in our city in order to help children during this ordeal.

I met with the therapist and told her our situation. A light bulb went off in her head. She said that explained some of her cases when a spouse seemed to "suddenly turn bipolar."

I am just trying to get the word out, to alert traumatized people of this barely known, destructive, horrific disease. It is confronting but necessary. It is better to know. 

[ChrissYAH]

I dont understand how he can run off and function as 'normal' with her and everyone else.

[Velika]

bv had suffered a horrible tragedy and loss and has managed to show true compassion and dignity. She is trying to point out syntoms of an illness that can mimic MLC in early stages.

This does not mean anyone's case is hopeless or that there isn't a chance to look to stories with happy endings and feel encouraged. I think that each person must look to their own family history and direct observations and also consider the advice they receive -- on this forum, in real life -- as having a point of view.

Just as bv can't diagnose anyone, we can all see MLC as umbrella term for a pattern of symptoms and behavior that may have a variety of origins and outcomes. Being informed of signs this is not MLC may save our spouses and protect ourselves and our children.

My FH for example has strong family history with poor outcome. We also share a young son. For someone in my position I must be aware of signs his condition may be more serious in order to protect our son and make responsible choices when it comes to coparenting.

People on this forum offer a lot of generosity, compassion, and patience to extremely selfish, irresponsible, and abusive behavior on the part of MLCers. Perhaps we can extend this same feeling to someone who is stating simply a differing opinion.

I want to add personally that therapy is often a choice made by a healthy person. Telling someone to go to therapy to figure out what their problem is is unkind, and unfortunately further stigmatizes therapy for some who might find it helpful and positive.