[Thunder]

"Okay yes she made this bold statement."

Velika it was not just a bold statement.  It is a ridiculous statement.
She is stating there is no such thing as a midlife crisis.  How does she know that?
That is completely dismissing the possibility it could be.

You yourself believe it could be.

I'm not sure why you think it's ok for her to be so closed minded to not consider it could be something other than a frontal lobe problem.

You're smarter than that.

[Velika]

I am not sure why bv is upsetting so many people. If she is wrong, then she hasn't taken anything from us. She is just stating her opinion, and maybe offering an avenue for some who see that perhaps their spouse might have signs of neurogenerative disorder.

I do not see a link to bv personal fundraising website where she is soliciting donations. She has just expressed her simple opinion.

My grandfather had dementia. And in fact my FH eyes reminded me of his eyes at times. But I don't think it is offensive to compare the two. In many ways MLC can be even more tragic because of when it strikes.

If this is a discussion board, I don't see why it is incorrect to explore and discuss similarities between what we observe and known syndromes, entertain theories, wonder out loud. MLC is pretty mysterious. So is bvFTD and many other syndromes like autism and ALS. People with firsthand experience can be invaluable in understanding what might be similarities.

If many people here have a reversible condition that has many traits in common with bvFTD, at least at the outset/early stages, this is worth discussing.

No one knows if their particular spouse has a reversible condition -- until it reverses. So while we can feel buoyed by stories with happy endings, and keep hope, I think there is a way to also love without hope.

[Thunder]

But again V, we are not talking about discussing her opinion.  Most would be open to that.
We are being told she knows what is wrong with our spouses.

It's not a discussion.  It is a conclusion.

[bvFTD]

Goner:

I have refrained from responding to you directly because you are very hard on me even though you don't know anything about me.

You have determined the papers I read, my intentions on why I post on this site, and even declared my favorite color ribbon.

I have read your excellent theories. Why aren't we all working together?

You can PM me anytime you wish. I will always respond to you. Take Care.

[bvFTD]

Thank you, Velika.

I am following a woman's blog whose husband is 20 years into the disease. Just now the husband believes the actors on TV are his friends in the living room with him.

The wife said her marriage was over 15 years ago. I guess her husband would be described as a "wallower" on this site. He never left the home. He just gradually had to find simpler jobs after being fired from more demanding ones, and he completely disengaged from her and their children a long time ago.

This disease, as you said, presents very differently in each person.

[ChrissYAH]

So my X husband isn't having a  MLC, he has a bvFTD?

[Anjae]

I guess her husband would be described as a "wallower" on this site. He never left the home. He just gradually had to find simpler jobs after being fired from more demanding ones, and he completely disengaged from her and their children a long time ago.

No, he wouldn't. LBS with wallowers do not have husbands that think people on TV are their friends living in their room. If someone would come here saying their marriage has ended 15 years ago and now, 20 years later, their husband thought people on TV were their friends living in their room, we would know something more than MLC was going on. In fact, I doubt we would think it was MLC at all.

Maybe you don't know HS well enough. More than once we have told people we thought their spouse had more than MLC, or had no MLC at all. But we don't think every MLCer has bvFTD.

No, Chris, you husband is having a MLC. Pretty much all our spouses are having a MLC. bvFTD husband has bvFTD and because of it she things all our spouses have the same. But they don't.

See bvFTD, that is the danger of what you are doing, you are leading people to think their spouses have what your husband have. They don't.

Like Velika, you seem incapable of explain why MLCers get back to normal once they are out of MLC. That does not happen with degenerative diseases.

What is the explanation? How do you explain the reconnections and reconcilations and those MLCers that do not reconnect but come out of crisis? How do you explain that I, and other HS members that had MLC, went back to normal and have no traces of our crisis period?

This disease, as you said, presents very differently in each person.

Any disease, from the common cold to cancer, presents very differently in each person. But there are always common traits to each disease. And there are also traits that are shared by different/several diseases.

We have already rulled out MLC being bvFTD.

[bvFTD]

Ready2Transform:

Velika is correct. She is giving you good advice. People diagnosed with ftd are fast-tracked for SSI. Why would you question her? As are people diagnosed with ALS.

[Velika]

Anjae, who has ruled out MLC being bvFTD? My sister works researching FTD with a lab that works closely with UCSF. She told me she is interested in pursuing the connection.

I spoke to a researcher at UCSF. She echoed what bv has written here, this is a poorly understood type of dementia because more research has gone into Alzheimer's.

bv mentioned a woman whose H *only recently* thinks the characters on TV are interacting with him -- 20 years in. What if she had come to this site 15 years ago, when her H was just emotionally disconnected? Perhaps she would learn he was a "wallower."

What if she had heard -- your H might have something we have seen and/or read about, a reversible condition called MLC where he will gradually improve -- OR he could have a degenerative condition you might want to rule out? What harm is there in that? Wouldn't it be helpful for her to be on the lookout for indications that things are heading in a different direction?

I think everyone should take a close look at the family history. This is likely the best indicator of what might happen. If there is a family history of midlife abandonment with no recovery or worsening symptoms, this may be an indication to pursue lines of inquiry beyond MLC. If there is a family history of midlife abandonment with reconciliation, this might be a timeline to anticipate.

[Anjae]

Read OP's post, and Kikki's one. Read all of my posts about bvFTD being a degenerative disease and MLC not and the whys.

And please explain how a dementia can be reversible because, for now, none of them are. Like bvFTD, you do not have an explanation for MLC being reservible.

Both of you have been asked many times to explain it, but none of you does it.

There are a million more logic and simple avenues to try to explain what MLC is than bvFTD. Like studying hormones and depression.

And how was she the woman going to rule it out if her husband was had bvFTD? Did you ever heard of a MLCer that allowed him/herself to be diagnosed? I haven't.

Plus, how many times do I have to say that,  that by what bvFTD writes her husband does not fulfill the 3 criteria to an absolute bvFTD diagnosis. Go back to her threads and you will find a post from me explaining it.

It is irresponsible to tell people their spouse have a degenerative disease without medical tests that confim such diagnosis.

Family history may, or may not, be of help. What may had happened to a family member may not happen to another. And many of us do not have a MLCer with a history of midlife abandonment with no recovery or worsening symptoms. And even no recovery may merely mean the person remained in MLC.

Why is it so hard and difficult to accept MLC may be real? Well, if it wasn't, how was your sister going to examine the connections between MCL and bvFTD? She wasn't, because she couldn't be comparing something that does not exist.

Velika, to you MLC has been gut problems, Bipolar, and I don't know how many other things. To you MLC is the flavour of the month. If one of these days someone comes may with something you think may be MLC you will say MLC is that thing.

This whole MLC is bvFTD is distracting for serious study and research of MLC and is making MLC sound like a joke.