[Which LBS Stage do you think you are mostly at now? (pick main one)]

Which LBS Stage do you think you are mostly at now? (pick main one)

Denial (shock, confusion)

1 (1.7%)

Bargaining (trying to figure out why, planning, adjusting)

1 (1.7%)

Anger (fear, resentment)

3 (5.1%)

Depression (despair, exhaustion)

13 (22%)

Acceptance (detachment, calm, control)

33 (55.9%)

Renewal

8 (13.6%)

Total Members Voted: 59

Voting closed: October 27, 2017, 04:41:15 AM

[Treasur]

I've certainly been very conscious of this as part of my own pain because I lost my parents and best friend too, as well as my H. These four people all saw me as important to them - and then pfft. I felt completely abandoned and alone. I think also dealing with a stonewalling vanisher for months at a time easily leads you to feel that you are invisible and that you don't matter. It's an extraordinarily cruel thing to do to any human being and I still find it shocking that my H of 18 years has acted as he has. But it is much more about his fear than my worth, of course!

It was a real fight for me mentally to accept that I may have been erased my by H (who knows what he actually feels) but the choice to believe I mattered was in my hands.

[Not Applicable]

I don't think we have been erased in their minds, not at all.

It is more we have been suppressed. Their memories of us have been locked away, along with a LOT of memories.

They've brought another person into their life and they are suffering from cognitive dissonance. If they had erased us they wouldn't be suffering all this turmoil, all this guilt boiling up. The stuff they say makes no sense. They don't think logically. What they say sometimes can't possibly be true. They are doing something they themselves find so horrible that they tell themselves anything to justify it. They are of two minds.

[Thunder]

Treasur,

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Thank you.