Author Topic: My Story The grass is only greener because it's fertilised with bullshizzle  (Read 5456 times)

Offline What nowTopic starter

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My Story Re: The grass is only greener because it's fertilised with bullshizzle
« Reply #100 on: February 20, 2019, 07:15:55 PM »
Something that made me laugh today- my S6 has MLCer logic! I had a conversation with him and D because my car is a state. Full of rubbish from them both. Tissues and sweet wrappers mainly. I told them I would get them a container each for them to dispose of their rubbish and S pipes up "the mess is your fault" :o apparently, if I didn't give them the tissues and the snacks and drinks, it wouldn't be a mess. Go figure. Reminded me of MLCer, not being able to take responsibility for his actions 😂
So, I wonder what S6 would say if you refused to give him food, drinks or tissues in the car now... "Well, since it was my fault that my car was a mess because I gave you the stuff, I just won't give you the stuff anymore...."

Those DARN consequences.....

This was already done and boy, was he unhappy!

I'm insisting on emails Philly and FW. He's still insisting on the book.

Little update - every time the kids have been, S has come back in her Ss clothes. Last time, she wrote in "the book" explaining that S had gotten "a little muddy" so she had washed and dried his top but he still came home in the other kids t-shirt and his in a bag.

I wrote ex an email saying I expect the kids to get messy and to basically not wash his stuff (he has sensitive skin which I pointed out). I also said that I will carry on communicating by email but if he wants to use "the book", to feel free but to remember that it's for me and him to communicate and I would appreciate it being kept that way!

I got an angry note at the bottom of ows message in the book saying S was uncomfortable having mud on him and that's why "we" decided to change him. D said it was ow that decided to do it and S was uncomfortable but why they felt the need to wash it I don't know. When the older kids would come stay over with me and him, they went home with everything dirty as I felt it was stepping on their mums toes if I did anything like that. Their mum liked it that way too. I think ow is playing her little games again.

There was another note in the book. Which is why I'm here again at almost 3am not being able to sleep.

Ex was supposed to have them on Sunday and didn't because he had "a business trip" (roughly translated, it turns out it was a romantic trip abroad). It annoyed me because I lost out on money because I had booked a day trip with friends. It was one of the initial contact sessions laid out by the courts so I thought he would stick to it.

Anyway, he took the kids out for tea tonight and D came in telling me to read the note, all excited. I told her I would read it later and she insisted I read it there and then. So I did. "I would like to take my children on holiday next March abroad. I need an answer soon because there is a lot to sort out".

D asked what was written and I told her I would talk to her about it later. She said "dad already told me. We are going on holiday"

So now, I've had to tell her I need to talk to dad about it first. I'm not sure he wants to take them anyway (he did the same when we first split up and never spoke about it again then told the kids he went on holiday and when D commented it would be nice to be thought about he told her he had asked me and I wouldn't let them go on holiday because I was a spiteful b!tch).

So, here are my thoughts about it:
It is in the school term and school are absolutely positively no longer allowing holidays to be taken in term time. They will fine ME because I'm the resident parent.
It's in the really early stages of the kids seeing their dad and he hasn't shown to be reliable before now, stopping contact with the kids at least twice for quite a few months with no explanation and me having to chase him to talk to them and visit them
He's shown he can't deal with them and brought them home early before. He can't do that if they're in another country.
He doesn't accept they have additional needs so how can he accommodate them.
Hes a coke snorting, beer drinking addict who thinks nothing to locking our kids in a room so he can get his kicks!
I know this is selfish but I want to be the one to take them on their first trip abroad. I don't know why he should get to when he obliterated our family. This reason isn't good enough and it is something I can get over but D has said she wants her first trip abroad to be with me.

I've said to D I need to get more details from him before I can make a decision. I need to know where they're going, how long for and I need to make sure he gets them travel insurance. I need to see who's paying for passports (I'm not) and need to know if they need injections and who will be buying their holiday clothes.

The whole thing annoys me. When he was with us, he couldn't even go outside on a sunny day so why would he be wanting to go abroad where it's hotter? He couldn't even leave our town and now he's doing all the things I wanted to do but with ow and her kids! He didn't think twice about letting our kids down to stay on holiday. He didn't even try to get an earlier flight home or anything which is daft considering how hard he fought for it in court.

It also annoys me that he's put me in this situation. It's too early to decide anything like that. A lot can happen in a year and D will be almost 13 by then so who knows what she will be up to. He knows I'm going to say no. And then when he can say to the kids "I wanted to take you but your mum said no" even though I don't think the intention is there.

So now, I go back to not sleeping and not eating. It's so much fun being an LBS!
« Last Edit: February 20, 2019, 07:21:30 PM by What now »
BD#1 August 2015 - i think i should move out and carry on as we are because i love you but it would work better
BD#2 December 2016 - moved out
ow- 19 years his junior with 3 young kids

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: The grass is only greener because it's fertilised with bullshizzle
« Reply #101 on: February 21, 2019, 12:42:23 AM »
Quote from: What now
It is in the school term and school are absolutely positively no longer allowing holidays to be taken in term time.

End of subject. Point closed. Nothing that YOU can do about it. He'll have to arrange it at a different time....

The rest of the reasons are a different story but this one is the key...
Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

Online Mortesbride

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Re: The grass is only greener because it's fertilised with bullshizzle
« Reply #102 on: February 22, 2019, 02:27:08 AM »
I just caught up with your thread and I can't believe that you have to have a book to communicate.

How ridiculous can these MLCers be. They can sleep with us, and make babies with us, but they decide they want out and now need a notebook to speak?!

It is so insane. I don't think normal people would believe it.

Brilliant idea though, particularly for evidence in court.

I think you should list in the book exactly why.

1. Schools won't allow term time holidays.
2. Exampled dates of when he has cancelled on the kids or brought them back early.
3. His inability to communicate with you like an adult, what if something goes wrong?
4. Inappropriate behaviour whilst at home with the children, never mind abroad where drink are cheaper and more plentiful.

Keep the tone polite, formal, and take a picture with your phone in case the pages get ''lost''.
« Last Edit: February 22, 2019, 02:28:11 AM by Mortesbride »
You know this is MLC when you have played emotional hot potato with a pair of crotch-less tights.

Online UrsaMajor

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Re: The grass is only greener because it's fertilised with bullshizzle
« Reply #103 on: February 22, 2019, 06:27:25 AM »
Brilliant idea though, particularly for evidence in court.

I think you should list in the book exactly why.

1. Schools won't allow term time holidays.
2. Exampled dates of when he has cancelled on the kids or brought them back early.
3. His inability to communicate with you like an adult, what if something goes wrong?
4. Inappropriate behaviour whilst at home with the children, never mind abroad where drink are cheaper and more plentiful.

Keep the tone polite, formal, and take a picture with your phone in case the pages get ''lost''.

Me - 54
STBXW - 48
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 12
D - 8
2 Dogs (1 each)
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Mid-Lifer filed for D
Waiting for final decree

Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

 

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