[Stillpraying]

I know it would be pointless to send this to my H, but I'm very tempted to send it to his parents who have bought into everything he says and just want him to be "happy".  Maybe that's just me still stupidly trying to get through to that messed up family (H's sister is currently divorcing her H too and has classic MLC behaviors).

Doesn't this fit their description also?  I mean the delusion of supporting one's wrongful acts.  Justifying his behaviour so THEY don' have to face some truths.  Most likely some things that the MLCer's are running from stems from the people that now 'support' them. 
Anyway, it's just a thought.............

SP

[CrazyStuff]

I have read this a few times since it was posted and I don't quite 'see' it the same way.   I think it is saying that at some point intervention is essential to get the deluded person to start to see that their behaviour & actions are wrong. 

Remember, intervention doesn’t stop the sin; it leads the person to a point of admitting her own self-delusion, that, as a result, will lead her to accept the next step in overcoming the sin. Properly done intervention breaks through the rationalization, leading to a period of lucidity where the person is willing to find help to stop the sin.

Seems to me this matches with 'our' truth darts.

I guess it is a question of timing.

Just my take on this.   I had an opportunity to throw a huge truth dart at my deluded h. yesterday and quite frankly he needs a rocket next.   I will update my own thread on the latest. 

CrazyStuff

[With Hope]

I've read this before too and it definitely fits my H...he used the same lines too "no one knows what he has been through"...you'd think I strung him up and beat him every night!  Ridiculous.  EVERYONE knows he didn't have it bad, and now he's basically lost the respect of everyone who knew him. 

The can only self-delude for so long though...eventually reality will set in...RIGHT??  THAT is what everyone keeps saying anyway!   

[ziggee]

I have read this a few times since it was posted and I don't quite 'see' it the same way.   I think it is saying that at some point intervention is essential to get the deluded person to start to see that their behaviour & actions are wrong. 

Remember, intervention doesn’t stop the sin; it leads the person to a point of admitting her own self-delusion, that, as a result, will lead her to accept the next step in overcoming the sin. Properly done intervention breaks through the rationalization, leading to a period of lucidity where the person is willing to find help to stop the sin.

Seems to me this matches with 'our' truth darts.

I guess it is a question of timing.

Just my take on this.   I had an opportunity to throw a huge truth dart at my deluded h. yesterday and quite frankly he needs a rocket next.   I will update my own thread on the latest. 

CrazyStuff

CrazyStuff,

I kind of get the impression the BD is all ready past phase 4 and as such, an intervention is useless.  That is my impression anyway.

Z.

[Mitzpah]

CrazyStuff,

I kind of get the impression the BD is all ready past phase 4 and as such, an intervention is useless.  That is my impression anyway.

Z.

I agree Ziggee that in many cases BD is past phase 4,so God guided and inspired intervention is necessary.

To me, this article explains how they (MLCers) get to where they do...

The interventions are the truth darts, but they can only be sent when the timing (and the 'soil') is right, which is why WGH says that we need to let go and let God.

[Faith]

I didn't see where the article explained how to intervene.  Did I miss something?

My D17 has been shooting very pointed, God inspired (I really believe cuz she's much better at it than me) truth darts for 8 months now with no impact whatsoever.  If she can't reach him I don't really hold out any more hope.

[Covenant for Life]

Faith, Our daughters are gifts from God.  My D20 has been shooting Biblically based truth darts at her Dad for over two years.  These guys are well over phase 4 in their level of delusion and will not listen to anyone.  Yet, my H cries in church the few times he has attended with us over this past year.

[Faith]

Faith, Our daughters are gifts from God.  My D20 has been shooting Biblically based truth darts at her Dad for over two years.  These guys are well over phase 4 in their level of delusion and will not listen to anyone.  Yet, my H cries in church the few times he has attended with us over this past year.

Covenant, can I ask how your daughter's relationship with her father is now? 

My stbx is apparently going to church too, or at least occasionally so he can mention it to the girls.  For me the hypocrisy part is the hardest.  This would be easier for all of us to understand if they would just openly reject God - it would make more sense to the kids. 

You are so right though - our daughters are gifts and inspirations.

[Phoenix]

My D15 also addressed the issues and hypocrisy with her father head-on, though with compassion and love. He just spewed terrible monster at her and continued his affair with our family friend under D's nose for another 7 months until I told him he had to find another place to live. Shortly after BD, H. stopped looking at or speaking to D (age 13 at the time). When he left, he did not say goodbye, did not leave a forwarding address and has not asked for visitation in more than a year. D (now 15) has incredible wisdom for one so young and has moved forward beautifully. He is missing out on an incredible human being, but she is so much more evolved and mature than he at this point.  I can't really imagine how interactions between them would go. She knows that I have no problem with her contacting her father and seeing him any time she wishes, but she has no desire in his present state and has had enough of his antics, anger and abandonment.

I too am a bit confused about this article as it sounded like intervention is in order. My H surrounds himself only with OW and people who will go along with his crazy, so no hope of intervention there. He is a total vanisher as well, so neither I or D would have any impact on him. 

So far, his delusion is serving him well and he is having a merry old time by all appearances. He is moving forward with divorce proceedings now, so unless God intervenes, I can only assume our marriage is not meant to be saved. H has certainly had no interest in that at any point in the process thus far.

Best to all,
Phoenix

[Covenant for Life]

D20's relationship with her Dad is terrible, through no fault of her own.  It is not that there is monster spew or open hostility.  It is more like apathy and she told me a few days ago that she is almost done with her Dad.  She is away at college and never hears from him unless she texts or emails him.  Sometimes he responds and sometimes not. 

S17 - who has not sent the truth darts at his Dad - is done with him.  He is a high school senior and his father is not really a part of his life.  S17 says that he is done trying and that he cannot make his Dad love him.

I have two fabulous children and they deserve a father who loves them and who loves their mother. 
I do not think my H is capable of loving anyone.  That is how far gone he is in is own delusional world.  As long as he pays what he is supposed to, then he thinks he is doing his job.  But, he has no relationship with two unbelievable human beings who also happen to be his children.  They still pray for him , but know that only God can save their Dad at this point.  Mental illness is absolutely a component in my H's case.  He was diagnosed with psychosis almost 20 years ago and I would not be surprised to find out that he also has other mental conditions.  Nothing else can explain how these men can just stop caring about their own children.

My heart just aches for all of us, but especially for all of our children who have had a parent just abandon them.  I am awaiting God's swift justice.