[POOWOO]

I have no children and have not heard a thing from the vanisher walked out the day of bd Aug 15 ltbnilwy he still pAys half the morgage but not a text email nothing feel like I'm in limbo just waiting for him to pop out and say we need to sell up
His family have never tried to contact me it's like I never existed

[Treasur]

I'm sorry, poowoo - that makes my STBXH look positively chatty  - maybe less of a vanisher, more an on-off. Can't imagine how hard that is, practically and emotionally. What's your plan and how are you coping with that?

[MsMedfly]

Oh my lawd, y'all..... 

First, they are crazy.... S says puffy does nothing but listen to depressing music... and is just depressing.. S moved in with puffy Saturday...

Saturday night, the vacuum made her appearance! Yep, he dumped the first ow, because she lived 30 minutes away, only to then go back the vacuum that is 18 months OLDER than our SON!!!! She's back.... S says she's gross.... I have to agree... I wish he'd find something new. Anything but the 5 "women" he cheated on me with. Puffy knows of my relationship with Duke. He doesn't ask, I only offered that we consider each other "life partners".

I'm just looking at the bright side. My son has his father, in his life, for the first time, in almost four years. My s needed this more than anything... So I will just be thankful and grateful that something made puffy realize that he needed to step up and so far, he has....

Now the rest of it.. He's hateful, negative, complains about me to s on a regular basis. I've been NOTHING but kind, sweet, etc to puffy. He has ZERO room to complain.. but yet, he is. He has to find something to bi&%h about. Puffy sees nothing good, in anything. Nothing is ever positive, no glasses half full around him.

And that's why I'm so glad I'm not tied to that any longer.  No one needs that kind of nasty in their lives, in their head, constantly thrown at them... I'm getting braver, I throw truth darts, I no longer care what he says, does, etc in response to me. I just stick to my happy guns and hose him with kindness every chance I get ....

SMILE Y'ALL!!! I've figured out that our happiness, the more we move forward, the better we become, is the only way through this!!  

[MsMedfly]

So, I had dinner with my s last night, he is currently living with the vanishing, reappearing puffy....

I get my info from s, only when he feels like sharing. I do not push and even though I've had more contact in the past 15 days with the ex, I don't ask him anything... Yet... I'm sure with time, I may get the chance. But for now, I just listen when s is willing to talk...

First off, these MLCers are miserable. Period. Regardless of what they project, what they say, no matter how great they say their lives are, they are depressed and miserable. S constantly says his dad is depressed, all the time, listens to terribly sad music all the time, can never see the good / happy in anything, ever!! S believes that it's because puffy knows what he's done, knows what he lost and is now feeling guilty and stupid for his choices...

I can't really call the ow, ow.. She's not old enough to be one.. She's three years older than our son. S is 22, the vacuum is 25... She's such a prize, NOT... At her old age, she's managed to become a recovering alcoholic, but yet, she and puffy drink to the point of blacking out. Last weekend, s said that puffy came home and looked like he'd been in a fight. They both were bruised, her eyes were blackened. With little to no memory of the night before.  Only to tell s, that they think someone slipped something in their drinks. BS!! They are drunks... Period!

Vacuum is scared of me. Don't know why but my son feels that she's afraid of both me and him. S said if she ever says a word about me, he will make sure she knows she has zero right to even speak my name! Love that kid, always looking out for me.

S went on to say that his dad is just not normal any longer. He's a stranger, so weird, and the complete opposite of  the person he once was. I picked s up at puffy's home. Puffy told s, your mother is allowed on the porch, she is not allowed in my home.... As if I'd want to???!!! He still has such a high opinion of himself. I guess some things never change! S says I'm better off, he's glad we are divorced. He hates that his parents can't be together but s understands that I wasn't given a choice and that I will never stand for that kind of mental, emotional, and verbal abuse again, S too, he's put his dad in check several  times, all ending with puffy's apology being, I'm sorry I got angry / frustrated, s is just...... whatever you want to fill in the blank with. Again, still no attempt even try to control himself, he's just an angry, hateful shell of human, that spends all of his time.. BLAMING ME! Yep, he continues to blame me, for absolutely everything!! And, I'm still not shocked....

So... It's not us, it's them... It always was and has been. Chins up LBSers....or the crown slips!

Happy Happy Friday y'all! Have a great weekend!

Hugs and kisses!

[bluerose]

     MsMedfly,
               That word frustrated stood out for me. I got a summary of our parenting time assessments in the mail and the counselor said that the coward gets frustrated with d13. Is frustration part of the script?

[MsMedfly]

Yes, I think so......

But notice their frustration is EVERYONE ELSE'S FAULT......

He can't communicate his own frustrations, he just screams, throws a fit and cusses like a sailor... and it's always has to be because of something, someone else did! Not because they have issues....

[Shocked]

A helpful post MsM! I truly hope you find comfort found that!!!

[nah]

Funny how even the vanishers can still finger point.

Somehow I’m supposed to feel bad that The Leaver is broke even though he lost his job two years after he left, stopped paying me alimony last year and I have paid for all of our sons college expenses.

Oh well, benefit of low contact is I only hear his whining once in awhile.

[MsMedfly]

Nah,

Is that all they do is whine?? O M G....

Puffy is attempting to create and drag me onto his drama triangle, with our son. I'm not having any of it and don't play. I cannot believe how literally the MLCer makes EVERYTHING about them.  It's unbelievable how selfish and self centered he is.

I get a text from puffy stating "we" need to talk, he expects me to be completely transparent, about s's affairs...

Um.... S is living with puffy. He has a front row seat to s's life, needs, etc... I don't... but I'm to be transparent. Ok... about what and HOW?? .. Then, of course, he's "allowing" s to live with him, has caused such a major disruption to his life.... Selfish a$$ clown!!!

Sweeps in to be the hero for our son... to then just complain about it... ??  In what universe will this ever make sense?!!

[Thunder]

MsMed, I would ignore the text. 
You don't "need" to talk to him about anything.