Author Topic: My Story The transformative power of love  (Read 5032 times)

Offline beyondblessedTopic starterTopic starter

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My Story The transformative power of love
« on: December 20, 2017, 02:35:55 PM »
As you may have noted, the name has changed throughout this journey, as I've become and transformed from what was to what is.  From slave, to done, and finally blessed.

I honestly didn't intend on sticking around.  I've found myself, my joy, my love.  I never stood for my lor marriage, I only ever stood for me.  I didn't see my xh leaving as a loss, but a regaining of myself.  Still, I cannot stand seeing all the heartache and loss that many of you are still feeling and suffering, without offering some encouragement.  Some of you have been enduring this for years, and while that is unimaginable to me, everyone does heal at his/her own pace.

My awakening  (aka bomb drop) will be 2 years in January, and St. Patricks day that same year was the day I stopped trying to glue my blown apart marriage back together again, and instead focused all my energy back into revivng the parts of me that slowly died over my 16 yr. marriage.

Today, I have a new home, close to family and surrounded by friends.  I have the most amazing new man in my life, that seems too good to be true at times.  He's the man I've always wanted:  attentive, kind, caring, giving, super affectionate, really he's just the whole package.  The dating world at midlife is dicey at best, so when he approached, I was filled with doubt and reservations, but from our first meeting months ago, we've spent as much time together as we can.  And, it just keeps getting better.  He's amazing and I have learned so much from the failed marriage that I have put those lessons to good use in strengthening our communication, building the trust that is so crucial, and taking things slow and steady, though it's been a challenge.  We are so in sync and physically attracted to one another that it's like gasoline and fire.  Not at all complaining, but that kind of connection does make it difficult at times not to lose my head and do something crazy....like sell my house and elope with this man!  lol

I had my 6 month appointment yesterday at the orthodontist, and he said by this time next year, the braces will be ready to come off.  I am getting ready to start living the Keto lifestyle after the New Year and look forward to learning the ins and outs from Mr. Amazing, as he's been doing this for years.  I am looking to become even more physically fit than I already am by doing this.  That means I need to learn a new style of baking, as carbs and sugar are verboten from this diet.  Wish me luck on that one!  lol. I pretty much run on sugar and caffeine!!

I have so much more to share, but I am so behind on Christmas.  lol. I have gifts to wrap, stockings to stuff, and cookies to bake, not mention trying a Keto dessert or two out for Mr. Amazing indulge and enjoy.

I hope that each and every one of you pushes like I have to make the rest of your life, the best of your life.  It all starts with the choice to put you first.  After that, everything else falls into place on its own and in its own time.  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!


Offline beyondblessedTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: The transformative power of love
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2018, 05:57:26 PM »
Dear 2018:  I'm coming to SLAY!!  And, so far, I'm killing it!

Life rolls on.  Had an amazing week's vacation over the holidays, and spent every moment I possibly could with Mr. Amazing, and it was truly a magical time.  Without an inkling of doubt, this man is my future.  It is almost scary how in sync we are, but it is such a comforting feeling.  It just feels like home when I'm with him.  Never had this type of connection before and sure wasn't expecting it, but I feel so completely blessed.

Today marks day 2 of my cleaner, reduced carb lifestyle.  I am not doing it as strict as the true ketogenic diet, as I only want to lose maybe 10 lbs, but I already feel better and not so sluggish.  I just felt I wasn't living up to my true slayer potential, so I adopted eliminating MY biggest addiction:  Sugar, as my next goal, and I can assure you.....I WILL win, as always.  For those of you who keep up with me on FB, I will post progress updates and pics frequently. Mr. Amazing is my biggest supporter, so with him backing me, there is no way I will not succeed.  ;D

2018 will be my year because I choose to make it so.  I hope each and every one of you will decide to do the same!  I wake up each day with a prayer of gratitude and thanks for this amazing life I have been given, and that immediately puts me in the right frame of mind to kill the day...and man, do I ever.
The gym workouts continue, the orthodontist visits continue...tomorrow, as a matter of fact to fix a bracket I managed to bust over the holiday break...lol.  To think, I used to hate, I mean hate going to the dentist.  Now, it doesn't even faze me.  Just another fear thats been conquered, and yes, slain.

So, I noticed others choosing a word for 2018.  Well, my word is going to be, yep you guessed it:  SLAY.  My life is what I make it, and I choose to make it epic!!

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: The transformative power of love
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2018, 06:42:47 PM »
So glad you drop back in here every so often and share an update, as well as lend encouragement and support on threads. 

You can bet I'll be watching the progress!   :)

You're on a great path, Beyond. 

BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Offline No expectations

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Re: The transformative power of love
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2018, 07:23:39 PM »
Beyond,

You are truly a great inspiration!  I'm so glad to see you posting,  and so happy for you.   You sound absolutely amazing!  Glad you are still coming here.  Facebook is good, but only tells a small part of your story.

Looking forward to watching you slay it this year!
Married 11 1/2 years, together 18.  BD 9/2016, 2nd BD 10/16.  H moved out 10/16.  2 AS's from my first M.  Me 55, H 50. OW 23.  Moved back 4/18.  Reconnecting and working on our M.

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through; how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure if the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain; when you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person that walked in...that's what this storm is all about."

"The trick is to enjoy life.  Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones."

Offline beyondblessedTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: The transformative power of love
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2018, 03:10:26 PM »
So another month has rolled on... and along with it, 2 years post Awakening.  And, man, what a 2 years it's been.  2 new relationships, many firsts (with many more still in the making), a new tattoo, and a new found, never, ever settle again self love that continues to grow everyday.

Divorce was not a death sentence for me.  It was a liberation of my soul and true self that I believe has lead me to my true love and soulmate....my Mr. Amazing.  A man of strength, courage, humor, kindness, love, affection and support.  The kind of man I wish I'd met in my 20's rather than now.  I'm turning the big 4-5 next week, and Mr. Amazing and I are going to spend the weekend at luxury resort just enjoying each other's company and loving on one another.  Life is truly wonderful, but it took letting go of the mistakes, learning from them, and using them to better myself for the new opportunities that have presented themselves in abundance.

At some point, you have to accept that what's done is done, and what's gone probably is gone for a divine reason.  God has a plan for all of us and it takes lots of faith, hope, love and trust to let go and let God lead.  He has lead me to both beautiful and devastating places over the last 2 years, but I have no doubt, it was and still is His grace and strength that daily replenishes my own and has helped me culivate this amazing and transformed life.  I am beyond blessed.

Offline stillbaffled

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Re: The transformative power of love
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2018, 08:09:54 PM »
Sure glad you drop in frequently and share with us.  It's always good to hear from you and get an update on your journey. 
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Offline nah

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Re: The transformative power of love
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2018, 10:03:51 PM »
Hey look at you....

...and I came on this thread thinking you were a newbie in need of help.

Glad to hear you are still living big.

Good for you!!!
H-54
me-52
ow-30
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com

Offline No expectations

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Re: The transformative power of love
« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2018, 01:23:59 AM »
Beyond,

Happy early birthday,  my friend!!  Sounds like you have a wonderful plan, I'm so happy for you!  Life is truly amazing when we look for our blessings.   So glad you continue to post !  ;D
Married 11 1/2 years, together 18.  BD 9/2016, 2nd BD 10/16.  H moved out 10/16.  2 AS's from my first M.  Me 55, H 50. OW 23.  Moved back 4/18.  Reconnecting and working on our M.

"And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through; how you managed to survive.  You won't even be sure if the storm is really over.  But one thing is certain; when you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person that walked in...that's what this storm is all about."

"The trick is to enjoy life.  Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones."

Offline beyondblessedTopic starterTopic starter

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Re: The transformative power of love
« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2018, 01:47:44 AM »
Nope, Nah, not a newbie!  lol. I just felt it was fitting to change my name as my life continued to progress.  I wasn't, and am clearly now, NOT the same person who came here hoping for my ex to wake the hell up.  Still have no hope of that ever happening for him....for many reasons.

But, life now is not and never again will be about his self destruction.  It's all about me, as it always should have been.  Only here to serve as an example of how wonderful things can turn out for the LBS, if they just let go and have faith in themselves and God.   ;D

Offline Dumbfounded

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Re: The transformative power of love
« Reply #9 on: February 05, 2018, 10:14:36 AM »
Howdy!! I stumbled upon your thread today while looking for my own lost thread.  Sounding wonderful.

You give us all something to shoot for beyond this MLC madness.     
Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

 

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