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Author Topic: My Story The transformative power of love

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My Story Re: The transformative power of love
#110: November 05, 2019, 01:41:18 AM
Just my thought for the night: don't ever settle for being tolerated and just painfully existing in someone else's space.  Go where you are cherished and appreciated.  Go where the love is.  Stop fearing the worst and start believing in yourself and your worth.

^^^^^THIS!^^^^
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Me - 56, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
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Re: The transformative power of love
#111: November 05, 2019, 02:03:17 AM
Just my thought for the night:  don't ever settle for being tolerated and just painfully existing in someone else's space.  Go where you are cherished and appreciated.  Go where the love is.  Stop fearing the worst and start believing in yourself and your worth.

That’s a lovely piece of advice 🤗
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Re: The transformative power of love
#112: November 05, 2019, 02:12:16 AM
Quote
Go where you are cherished and appreciated.

Feels like this should be LBS 101.... :)
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.
Healing and growing found here https://littleplotbythesea.wordpress.com

"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Re: The transformative power of love
#113: November 07, 2019, 01:03:51 PM
Quote
Go where you are cherished and appreciated.

Feels like this should be LBS 101.... :)

It most certainly should be how we all feel about ourselves!  We have always been the prize, and only winners deserve prizes.
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b
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Re: The transformative power of love
#114: November 09, 2019, 07:01:06 AM
So many embers in the fire as of late!!  And so many interesting topics on a few threads dealing with living in limbo land (haha, never) and one in particular about recognizing and appreciating all the hidden blessings that have occurred as a result of the spouse's (ex, happily, in my case) crash and burn.

It's nice to see the forward movement and introspection.   It's nice to see that more and more LBS are jumping down from the false "safety" of the shelf and straight into the fires of passion and life still burning within them and going to live life on their terms and desires without a second thought of the poor,  pity-seeking, self-absorbed MLC'er.

Today, remember YOU have only one life.  How do you wish to spend your remaining days?  If you were to die tomorrow....because it could very well happen to any of us....would you have been satisfied with the deposits you made in your life and well being right now?  I hope you can resoundingly answer yes, but if not, it's not too late to start making those deposits right now.  Your life; your responsibility.
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« Last Edit: November 09, 2019, 07:02:25 AM by beyondblessed »

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Re: The transformative power of love
#115: November 14, 2019, 02:47:39 PM
The day that you finally choose yourself is the day you will never look back.  For once you find everything you need within, you will never need to fill the void with something external.  And, if you think about it, that is basically the same advice we all want the MLC'er to heed.  Self love heals; shame destroys.
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Re: The transformative power of love
#116: November 14, 2019, 05:57:54 PM
Amen sista!!
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Married 1998
MLC H 48
LBS W 47
D16, S12
BD March, 2016
Left home Sept 4, 2016 - living with parents
H filed for D - July 24, 2017
D final March 14, 2018 - still living at parent's house

“You've seen my descent, now watch my rising.”
― Jalaluddin Rumi

b
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Re: The transformative power of love
#117: November 18, 2019, 02:56:09 PM
Just a super quick update on my new R with Mr.Big....because at 6'5" and 245 lbs, he dwarfs me at 5'4", but my lean and muscular physique balances us quite nicely 😊

Things are going fantastically for us.  He just may be the missing puzzle piece, but it is far too early to tell.  For now, we are just thoroughly enjoying our times together.  He was at my place on Saturday with every intention of returning home Sunday, as he's about 45 minutes away, but he received a call that his dad had a massive stroke in New Orleans.  What a shock!  Here sat this sweet man on my couch, receiving news that they didn't expect his dad to make it, and all I could do was hug him, reassure him and practically BEG him to lean on others for support and comfort and not to bottle up his grief.  Think I've seen this before??  Yep....the death of xh's dad was about the straw that broke the crazy camel's back.  I DO NOT want to see another man go off the rails on the crazy train.

Luckily, we've been texting and calling quite frequently,  and it seems his dad is showing great signs of improvement.  I'm not sure of the long term prognosis, but Mr. Big will be returning home tomorrow and we've made plans to get together Wednesday, so I'll know more then.

Morte mentioned on her thread that being alone doesn't necessarily bother her, but she prefers company.  Being alone and single has it own set of benefits and gifts, but now that I have a man in my life, and this time one who actually behaves like a man should, it has reminded how nice it is to share things with someone else.  It is especially nice because this man so far has lived up to everything he's said.  He isn't just words and empty promises.  He actually does the work.   For a long time, I've wondered if men like that still existed.  He's making a believer out of me. 

We've already talked about how we are quite infatuated with each other, and I've got to tell you, I can see how easily someone on the crazy train already could be totally sucked into these feelings quite innocently and mistaken it for true love.  If Mr. Big and I weren't emotionally matured and grounded adults, we could be naive enough to think the same, but alas, we both realize and see it for what it is right now;  an overload of hormones that has created lots of sparks and chemistry.  I'm not complaining though, and neither is he.  We are both on the same page, and I truly think we both feel this is only going to grow,  but again time will tell.  For now, we are taking it as it comes, and letting the chips fall where the may. 
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« Last Edit: November 18, 2019, 02:59:41 PM by beyondblessed »

s
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Re: The transformative power of love
#118: November 18, 2019, 09:21:14 PM
I was going to ask if he had a single brother, but at 5'1" it might be a big stretch for me!!   ;)

You're living life in a big way, BB! 

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BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

b
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Re: The transformative power of love
#119: November 19, 2019, 02:00:34 AM
SB, he's definitely the tallest I've been with, but we fit together perfectly.  ❤ 

DF mentioned the 3rd (and presumably final) love that comes out of nowhere....well, I'm beginning to think that maybe there's some truth to that? 
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