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Author Topic: My Story The transformative power of love

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My Story Re: The transformative power of love
#140: December 16, 2019, 02:27:39 AM
Don't underestimate the value of the support Mr. B is getting from you, even at 1000 miles away.

In some ways, one could see it as knowing there is an anchor holding things together somewhere out there, despite the storms that are currently raging around them... The major difference is that Mr. Big knows that you are supporting him as best you can rather than being the cause of the storm like the Mid-Lifer sees...
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Me - 56, xW - 50
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation
S - 13, D - 9
2 Dogs
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

b
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Re: The transformative power of love
#141: December 22, 2019, 09:09:59 AM
Thank you all for the thoughts, prayers and input.  Big's dad did pass last weekend, slowly but peacefully in the end.  Big is dealing exactly like I had hoped....maturely, like a son who loved his father very much, but knows it is a part of life and it is what happens.  So, yes he's obviously sad and hurting, but he is dealing with his grief and not ignoring his pain, which is a very good and emotionally mature response.

I, of course, have continued to be a rock and solid source of love and support, and he's been very grateful and appreciative of that.  We are doing very well and growing much closer than I think we might have under more normal circumstances, but it is what it is, and we are just so grateful to be together and have so many common traits and goals to share.  Being in an R with an actual adult is a very welcome and eye opening experience.   It is a blessing to be in this place, right here, right now.

There has been so much talk of real life on many threads.  This is real life, this is what people in real life do.  They take what life gives....not necessarily what they want or think they deserve, but what they get....and they make it something extraordinary and meaningful.  Life is happening every minute of every day....how you choose to grow it is your choice.  Like I say, good or bad, life is what you make it....extenuating circumstances be damned.  The only choices you control are your own.  Real life, real talk.
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b
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The transformative power of love
#142: Today at 06:29:51 AM
Wow...where does the time go these days? lol  I can't believe it's been over 6 months since my last update, but I guess only what I see as milestones in my ascent from MLC hell bring me back here.  Today marks 4 years of being free and D'd from the lunatic who tried to break me.

The woman who types this today is a very different beast...and I sure don't use that term lightly, lol, than the one who thought she could help a coward become a decent man 4 years ago.  She looks differently, she talks differently, she FEELS differently.   She's someone who wouldn't look twice at the man who ran like a scared rat back then, and he definitely wouldn't want any part of her now, either.

Life is fantastic today and just keeps getting better as I reacquaint to the parts of myself that are still emerging and growing.  4 years have been a blur of hard work, self introspection,  and pushing on all fronts to become the woman I was meant to become all along.  My marriage may have been a failure, but it sure taught me the lessons I needed to get me where I am today.

I've been in my own home for a little over 3 years now.  I rarely think about everything that happened back in 2016, when xh lost the rest of his marbles, but every now and again, I will remember the disrespect, the lies, the betrayal and the cowardice and selfishness at the root of it all and thank God for giving me the strength and courage to say firetruck that $h!te...I deserve better, and I WILL do better for myself. 

Even with the crazy things happening with Corona, life still goes on.  I'm still hitting the gym...damn, being out those couple months during the height of the virus was tough, but as always, I soldiered on and did work outs at home.  And, my work stayed open the entire time, as well, so I never took the hit financially that some did.  I'm grateful for that because now I'm in the position for a new vehicle and am weighing my options.  Like everything else though, I'm not in a hurry.  I'm taking my time, being smart and making choices that reflect my character,  integrity,  and beliefs.  I'm living the good life and I'm loving every minute of it.
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The transformative power of love
#143: Today at 04:57:54 PM
Beyond,  you sound so great! Power and self- assurance radiates from every word you wrote!!! 

Hats off to your positive journey  :)
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Sada
Married 13 years, together 23
Apr 2014: PA discovered, ow 22 yrs younger
May 2014: "I love her & she loves me"
("But I'll always love you the most")
Jun 2014: Left home to live w OW
Aug 2014: Back home. "Sorry, made mistakes".
Late 2015: Ow2 (a couple of dates I think). Monster
  returned for several months 
Early 2016: Health scare, including major surgery, resulting in fog lifting some more.
Today: H progressing thru mlc positively.Mostly cooked, has remained home and reconciling
Arguments & disagreements very infrequent
Enjoying our time together

s
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The transformative power of love
#144: Today at 06:23:46 PM

Even with the crazy things happening with Corona, life still goes on.  I'm still hitting the gym...damn, being out those couple months during the height of the virus was tough, but as always, I soldiered on and did work outs at home.  And, my work stayed open the entire time, as well, so I never took the hit financially that some did.  I'm grateful for that because now I'm in the position for a new vehicle and am weighing my options.  Like everything else though, I'm not in a hurry.  I'm taking my time, being smart and making choices that reflect my character,  integrity,  and beliefs.  I'm living the good life and I'm loving every minute of it.


Sure enjoy reading updates like this, BB! 

As always, it's great to have you drop in and let us know how you're doing.  Keep killing it, buddy!   ;)
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« Last Edit: Today at 07:01:08 PM by stillbaffled »
BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

K
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The transformative power of love
#145: Today at 06:55:50 PM
Yes you are seriously amazing!! Such an inspiration. Thank you for continuing to post bc it really makes a  difference for some of us who need to move on but are a little afraid.
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Me 49
H 47
S13
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance

 

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