[Absolutely Fabulous]

No offense, but I thought the title to this whole forum was:  "Dealing with Midlife Crisis and Infidelity when YOU DON'T WANT A DIVORCE."

If I'm not mistaken, I forgot that you were "my3girls" when I started this.  I know you were going to start your own business and I hope you have continued success with that.

I guess my only suggestion is that if you are "not standing for your marriage" any longer, maybe to start a new site for those of you that have had Mid-Lifers, you have gone through the sh$$ that we are going through now and have survived and thrived and are getting a new life not hoping to get your marriage back?

Just a thought ...

The better question is why are personally on this thread? Are you here to attack and fight, or discuss what you would do in the event of a return? I forget what the logical term is for deflecting and diverting a conversation ( my logic is rusty), but that has sure been the case here on this thread.

[Ready2Transform]

Whether an LBS is standing or not shouldn't impact their involvement on the forum. We all found this site because of the tsunami that hit our lives and we all, at one point, tried to avoid having this end our marriages. Not standing now doesn't change that I *did* stand for over five years (even after my xH remarried), formed lasting bonds with people here, and still have suggestions to offer when it comes to avoiding some of the pitfalls in dealing with a particularly nasty, bipolar midlifer who had prior been my best friend and love of my life.

RCR had the choice to create a forum like Divorce Busting or some of the others where there are moderators who keep discussion to specific topics and even ban others who stray from anything that doesn't support the "marketing message." She chose to allow people to explore more ideas here that might broaden the focus at times, like now, into uncomfortable territory, but ultimately make this a  more "real" place where support is for everyone, and the relationships are meaningful.

[Helpingme!]

All I can say is WOW! No offense toward anybody. But I love this forum, and yes I thought is was for ones wanting too stand, and hoping too reconcile one day. But , hey all info is good I guess.

[Thunder]

My only comment will be, there are just certain people who always bring drama and cat fighting to their threads...always.

I choose to stay away from them.  They bring no positives to this site.

Hero's Spouse Mission Statement:
"Love each other, Love your spouse, and Love yourselves.  These Unconditional's apply to everyone.

Have a good day everyone.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

I stood for my marriage from 2008-2015. Stop denigrating those of us who have made a different choice. In case you didn’t notice this discussion is about possible returns. In case you didn’t know, they try to return to those of us who aren’t standing. In fact many stories I have read including some here on HS the MLCer returned when they met someone else. In fact some MLCers came out of the tunnel faster when the LBSer found someone new.

So this affects us on both sides.

[Never say never]

So you asked me why I'm personally on this thread?  I came on because the title was "LBSer is the one that decides."  I want to learn as much as I can, hope to give out the best advice I can and just take it one day at a time.

Maybe you didn't intend on this turning into an "attack" session.  I know from past experience what can happen

I'll make it simple.  What would you do in the event of a return ... and why???  And if you choose to say no, why?  After all, we are here to help each other, right?? 

[Never say never]

Sorry, my post happened while the last two were posting.

Thunder, thank you!!!  You made me once again "think straight."

[Absolutely Fabulous]

My only comment will be, there are just certain people who always bring drama and cat fighting to their threads...always.

I choose to stay away from them.  They bring no positives to this site.

Hero's Spouse Mission Statement:
"Love each other, Love your spouse, and Love yourselves.  These Unconditional's apply to everyone.

Have a good day everyone.

If you had read the initial comments? You can thank Searching and Goner for how this took a turn. As for drama? I noticed you couldn’t resist taking a dig. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Or would you prefer: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone?

[OldPilot]

Sorry I cant participate, its been 9 years and no return in sight.

I do think that the LBS'er gets to choose in the end and likely that I brought that info from DB to here.

Please lets try to keep the discussion as civil as possible.

Thank you

[Absolutely Fabulous]

So you asked me why I'm personally on this thread?  I came on because the title was "LBSer is the one that decides."  I want to learn as much as I can, hope to give out the best advice I can and just take it one day at a time.

Maybe you didn't intend on this turning into an "attack" session.  I know from past experience what can happen

I'll make it simple.  What would you do in the event of a return ... and why???  And if you choose to say no, why?  After all, we are here to help each other, right??

As I recall Searching took the first swipe and Goner the next. You all seem to have a problem with people defending themselves when they don’t agree with you. Start from the beginning. R2 made a great point. Searching and Goner took the low road. Start there and then you be the judge.