Author Topic: MLC Monster Head, Neck, and Body Changes  (Read 1631 times)

Offline bvFTD

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MLC Monster Re: Head, Neck, and Body Changes
« Reply #20 on: February 08, 2018, 08:46:57 PM »
Anjae:

You are fortunate your husband has MLC. I think most people on this board are dealing with something much more serious.


Offline Anjae

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Re: Head, Neck, and Body Changes
« Reply #21 on: February 08, 2018, 08:58:40 PM »
Most here are dealing with a spouse in MLC. Some are dealing with something else. Others have a spouse that had/has other issue and is now having a MLC on top of those. MLC will go away, the other issues will not.

If everyone here whose spouse is having a MLC is going to have a spouse that comes out of MLC, that is another issue. Most will, but not all.

If the couple will reconnect or reconcile that is also a different matter.

Not sure if it is luck having a spouse that only has MLC. I guess, compared with some things, yes.
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)

Offline VelikaTopic starter

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Re: Head, Neck, and Body Changes
« Reply #22 on: February 08, 2018, 09:13:27 PM »
Behavioral variant frontotemporal dementia is not obscure but poorly understood and therefore likely under-diagnosed and under-recognized. bvFTD is in fact very well informed. I have read a lot of her advice to other posters, and it is always on point. Furthermore, she keeps her focus on the well being of the spouse. I find her well informed and interesting, and I'm sorry that so many discussion gets derailed because she is accused of being irrelevant to the discussion.

MLC is just an umbrella term. It truly means nothing at all, except that it is a description for many of our common observations, and follows a general pattern as outlined on this site and others. Maybe if we can just discuss this as our interests move us we will all learn something. I actually think what Anjae posted and what bv is saying are not at odds.

XYZ you are saying that you don't like misinformation but you often post that many LBS reunite with their MLCer and go on to have wonderful marriages. I think this is honestly a much worse thing to tell a traumatized and shocked LBS than that her husband is unwell. Many of us think of our spouses as they used to be when we are bomb dropped; in the trauma it is hard to fathom that they simply are no longer the person we once loved and loved us in return, and tragically, may never be again.

The result is that a LBS can fail to protect herself and her children, or think that she can somehow game this by doing the right things like "GAL," "validating," or "detaching." I'm not saying that this is bad advice, but it is really something that needs to come naturally in the grief process, and may not truly be a destination but a slow process that takes a lot of time.

A story does not need to have a happy ending, or be a romance, to be about love. I am extremely moved by many people's devotion to their spouses on this forum, as well as to those who try to help the women and men who were once in their own position. I put bv in this category. Discussions like this should be allowed to go all over the map, because if we really and truly care about our spouses and whatever this blanket term is, then we should also want to know what it is or might be.

Offline VelikaTopic starter

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Re: Head, Neck, and Body Changes
« Reply #23 on: February 08, 2018, 09:59:19 PM »
Just want to add a postscript that we are sadly not a unique group in facing confusion and loss over a vague grouping of symptoms. There are many mysterious conditions on the rise with also controversial theories and questions surrounding them.

Offline VelikaTopic starter

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Re: Head, Neck, and Body Changes
« Reply #24 on: February 08, 2018, 10:07:10 PM »
Back to topic of face shape, changed appearance.

It occurred to me that a primate that has changes to face shape is the orangutan. Dominant  develop phalanges. They are thought to be connected to testosterone levels.

Obviously our ex do not have phalanges. But perhaps there is some type of connection or at least evidence that primates of other species can change appearance in late adulthood and possibly in connection to hormone levels and even tangentially power hierarchy.

Offline Mortesbride

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Re: Head, Neck, and Body Changes
« Reply #25 on: February 09, 2018, 02:36:45 AM »
I would not discount things can happen in terms of BVFTD, MLC, and other diseases/illnesses/personality disorders.

But I would point out that if BVFTD shrinks the brain...leaving space within the skull..that somehow your body wouldn't automatically fill with fluids to cushion and protect it (as it will), which made your skull cave in a bit (which unless you have a degenerative bone disease seems unlikely) then... Your skull would get smaller...not wider right?!  ???

So from a biological standpoint...even if your brain DID shrink...and your skull somehow DID shrink...it certainly wouldn't WIDEN your face and neck...it would narrow the top of your head!

Somehow this discussion went from physical characteristics to MLC vs BVFTD again. In doing so there are some glaringly obvious errors into the biology behind the argument.

The only things that could widen your face that are apparently obvious at this stage in life would be lifestyle (diet, drinking), hormones, or normal ageing processes that degenerate the skin (making it saggy) and a change in fat deposits of the face etc. Lack of sleep and increased stress would also attribute to ageing, and a slowing of your ability to heal damage etc.

Offline VelikaTopic starter

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Re: Head, Neck, and Body Changes
« Reply #26 on: February 09, 2018, 07:31:03 AM »
I found this article that sums of bvFTD. I want to say, this sounds a lot like what I am witnessing. Does this mean that my ex has bvFTD? I don't know and cannot say, because he has not visited a neurologist.

If he categorically does not have bvFTD, and this can be surmised because he follows a pattern others have witnessed in MLC, whereby he has a chance to eventually recover, can we still learn from this?

Yes, I think so, because MLC likely affects the same parts of the brain given all of the symptomatic overlap.

Quote
Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD), formerly referred to as “Pick’s Disease,” is an umbrella term for a variety of disorders that cause the frontal and temporal lobes of the brain to shrink.

Since these areas are responsible for a person’s behavior, personality, and language, people affected with FTD can undergo dramatic behavioral changes that negatively affect themselves and their loved ones.

Since memory isn’t an issue at first and FTD tends to occur at a younger age than most other dementias (often between 40 and 75 years), dementia is often overlooked as a cause.

Getting an early and accurate diagnosis is key to managing future emotional, physical, and financial challenges, which is why we’ve put together a list of the 11 most common signs of Frontotemporal Dementias for you to be aware of:

1. Impulsive, inappropriate behaviors and speech:

Your frontal lobe, located behind your forehead, regulates your behaviors and impulses.

As FTD begins to affect this area of the brain, people might suddenly begin to say rude or mean things to others, or become entirely uninhibited in pleasure-seeking activities such as food, drinking, or sex.

2. Loss of interpersonal skills and/or empathy:

As FTD progresses, a person’s ability to see things from another person’s point of view diminishes.

A previously compassionate and caring person might suddenly be non-responsive to another’s distress, or may no longer correctly respond to common social cues.

3. Apathy

Often mistaken as depression, a person with FTD might become fairly withdrawn, self-centered, and emotionally distant.

4. Decreasing Self-Awareness & Personal Hygiene

A person affected by FTD will have less and less self-awareness as the disease progresses. A lack of concern about their personal appearance is common, making them appear increasingly unkept over time.

5. Lack of reasoning and logic (making poor decisions)

As the frontal lobe shrinks, a person’s ability to reason decreases while impulsivity increases, making it more likely for them to suddenly begin making unsafe or financially damaging decisions.

6. Repetitive Compulsive Behaviors

People living with FTD might develop Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), an anxiety disorder that is characterized by unwanted and repetitive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that drive them ‘to do something’ (compulsions).

7. Inability to Plan or Concentrate

Planning requires us to be able to think in a step-by-step process.

When a person’s brain is affected by FTD, they are less and less able to concentrate and initiate steps to successfully sequence them (Step A => Step B => Step C, etc.).

8. Sudden and Frequent Mood Changes

A person with FTD might be sad one moment, and euphoric just a short while later. Erratic and unpredictable mood changes can occur as the brain change progresses.

9. Speech & Language Difficulties

Depending on the type of FTD, a person’s ability to verbalize and comprehend language can become increasingly challenging as the temporal lobes begin to change.

The affected person might speak very slowly, have trouble finding the right words, or be unable to name objects.

10. Balance & Movement Problems

Some types of FTD cause mobility problems similar to those observed with Parkinson’s disease.

These can include muscle weakness, balance issues, tremors, rigidity, muscle spasms, and poor coordination.

11. Memory Loss

Unlike Alzheimer’s disease, those living with FTD commonly don’t suffer from memory issues and are able to keep track of day-to-day events until the condition progresses into a more advanced stage.

Online Thunder

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Re: Head, Neck, and Body Changes
« Reply #27 on: February 09, 2018, 08:00:56 AM »
Velika,

I certainly do not want to start an argument, but I have to take issue with something you said.

I don't see xyzcf telling people that many people reunite and have happy marriages.  At least I don't see it.
Of course we want to be optimistic because it can and does happen but if you read all the stories on here it's pretty plain to see there are not many who reunite. 

There may be more than we see because people usually leave after they have reunited, but still the odds aren't the best.
I'm hoping no one on here I telling people that.

Ok, back to the discussion on changes.  Just wanted to comment on that.  :)
With her permission, a quote from a recovered MLCer: 
From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did.

Offline VelikaTopic starter

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Re: Head, Neck, and Body Changes
« Reply #28 on: February 09, 2018, 08:32:42 AM »
Thunder, I don’t fault her for wanting to be optimistic, and this may genuinely be her own experience. I myself know three couples who reconciled following a type of “crisis,” and one that attempted to reconcile but ended up parting as friends.

But in no case was there the extreme behavior and personality changes, sudden cruelty or radical changes to looks so frequently described on this forum. In most case, any separation was temporary and the person in “crisis” had more self awareness and self control.

I think in these very radical cases, something very serious and possibly permanent is taking place. A very traumatized LBS is only going to hear the positives, especially if they had a good marriage, nice husband, and happy life.

My point is that telling peoooe that many people do go on to have happy marriages is overselling and also not taking into account the very wide spectrum of severity MLC can present as.

Offline VelikaTopic starter

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Re: Head, Neck, and Body Changes
« Reply #29 on: February 09, 2018, 08:34:05 AM »
https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125387566

Interesting article from NPR on — yes — how the skull shrinks with age.

I read an article that some thing bipolar could involve rapid aging. So perhaps this makes sense that we would notice accelerated changes to head structure as well.

 

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