[CallingHeart]

Wow. poo woo
Have you had a chance to get legal advice?
It might help to do that in advance to get you prepared and confident.   
Speaking of which, confidence is attractive, so give it your best shot to request what you want with confidence and no expectations. Please Don't mention OW. Don't give her any relevance whatsoever. She is his problem.

After more than 2 years with ZERO communication (believe me I know). One meeting does not mean any decisions have to be made or finalized. I'm pleasantly surprised he will meet you in person. 

Mine divorced me without any meeting and I never even heard his voice in the process.  After BD he vanished thoroughly...also he divorced me with no say in the matter.  Zero.  very sad that a husband could do that with his wife, but it happens, I'm living proof.

Wishing you the best with this next part of your journey.

[POOWOO]

I have seen a solicitor and got advice I have decided I want to be in control so I am starting divorce He doesn't know this yet I'm still waiting for a answer back on the day I said I can meet.
I have had a promotion at work that now puts me in the position that when we sell I can afford to buy on my own but I have been advised to divorce him to protect my self financially.
I will let you all know the outcome
There will be no talk about us I am just going to discuss the house business only nothing else

[MsMedfly]

Try and stay only to business. They love to start drama...

I have a front row seat to the craziness of the vanisher right now. Puffy protected assets like the pentagon. He would get extremely vicious when the reality of his losing half and potentially damaging the facade of being the wealthy, Ricky rescue to his ows, become inevitable. Protect yourself and your finances. I paid dearly for it. In my situation, it's why he behaves the way he does.

The vanishing puffer has yet another ow. Seriously, he's disgusting and his choices certainly reflect it. Ewwwwwwwwww..... Yuck.... I know this one... O m g.... It's taken almost 4 years, 3 since he left, for all of his ows to come out of the closet. Sadly, s is watching and just shakes his head. He's counting the days and pennies to move out as soon as possible.

S said last night, I'm glad he's giving me a place to live but it was better when he just disappeared.... They've had major arguments and s knows he's more mature and just all around a better person that his dad is...

It's a double edged sword. Either way, he's still a massive, miserable pain the a$$!!! I think the karma bus lost his address!!!

[Rising Phoenix]

Is this normal for a vanisher. H has agreed to change divorce to 2 yr separation on 20 th feb and I did my initial mediation on 21st feb. I have heard no more re divorce and he has booked his mediation for April! I emailed to ask him to do ASAP so complete opposite and ow was desperate for his divorce. I have no idea why the delay. Perhaps money. Still nothing to any email I send asking him to speed things as I want financials sorted before divorce finished and still no contact with kids. Their b days next week and I have no idea if he will send anything xx

[nah]

Very normal. Sometimes The Leaver didn’t show up at scheduled hearings and somehow blamed me.

 

[1trouble]

Phoenix

It maybe your H is trying to delay stuff BUT I think, in your sitch, the Ow is in charge.....BUT maybe your MLC'er in his own way, is trying to get some control and slow things BUT it also could be they don't have the money to proceed at this time....I got caught in that trap too...

In my case OW had control over H's email, bank accounts, phone and basically everything and H let her because ...well he is in MLC 
and what I thought was H trying to hold things up was more to do with them not having money to proceed, as soon as the money become available pressure from Ow was on and H signed the papers (even though he sobbed to me that he did so) crazy eh!


All I wanted to say is try not to read anything into the actions of two fncked up people

I know your H is involved with a 'special one' too...and believe me anything you think is happening you wouldn't come close to predicting as what is actually going on in the schmoopie universe is far sicker, far more childish and far more ridiculous than anything you could imagine xx

BTW I read your previous update from work regarding no response to email and OW posting and I think your H's OW monitors his email

[Rising Phoenix]

I think your right 1t. H no longer has a phone apparently as last text to son was if son wants contact will have to be by email which means she took a phone contract out for him. She has done this before. How they don’t have the money I don’t know as nearly £60000 a yr between them and they don’t have to pay rent or mortgage. I will just have to wait. I think I am getting restless to have him face me in mediation so I can have my say and show that I will not budge on boundaries, financials and I am strong. Prob stupid really. Xx

[1trouble]

No not stupid Phoenix all natural

I think mediation is a very smart move and when I finally threatened that (after OW shenanigans) OW stopped Pi$$ing about and wasting money on legal costs because she did not want me to be in a room with H where she had no control...

They are scared of us phoenix that's why she has taken the phone away (your situation is very similar to mine)
and if your OW is a sociopath (like mine is) she will spend spend spend, have no regard for authority or the law, no feelings, no guilt and will need constant stimulation because they get easily bored because of low dopamine levels....(which is why they make perfect partners for MLC'ers because they are two empty people together)

As I have said before I do not agree with what people say on here about OW being nothing but a bandaid
because in cases where the OW is a BPD sociopath or other disorder this is far from true IMO..

the OW in a lot of these situations are the one's running the show and if you have kids or if you are trying to work out a financial settlement, or divorce, then you really need to know who you are dealing with and read up about these people.  Because in MLC our spouses will relinquish all responsibility to these people

So you need to arm yourself with knowledge abaout them because IMO if you don't you could make things far worse for yourself.....you can provide them with the drama they crave, you can give them reactions they yearn for .....and you could poke the dragon and these people do not care about anything or anyone......

If you understand them then you can ensure you don't give them any of the things they crave, you can know their weaknesses and you can out wit them and save yourself a lot of heartache in the process..

I wish you well x

[Rising Phoenix]

Thanks 1t. Yes I believe ow running the show. I emailed last week to ask him book mediation and pay my solicitor as I need the money for new electric box as some plugs disconnected as went up in flames and I have the children’s safety to consider, plus I don’t have £600 to do but if he pays solicitor I will get refund. No reply but 4 hrs later ow posts on her  business page a video of stop complaining your alive! No idea if aimed at me or h. If me yes we alive but next time a plug goes we might not be! Stupid woman. X

[Milly]

Rising it would be quite the coincidence if her post were not related to what you wrote your H. I have one of those OW who run the show, H kind of confirmed it to my D. They read everything, have all control of our H's finances and who they pay, definitely not us, we don't deserve a penny. They control our H's phones and computers. They are always there in the background.