Author Topic: My Story He’s having a mlc 2 - Lucky  (Read 2240 times)

Offline RosetintedglassesTopic starter

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My Story Re: He’s having a mlc 2 - Lucky
« Reply #70 on: June 20, 2018, 02:42:46 AM »
Thanks Help, yes still running - never regret going but never went to go!

H was over at the weekend. I was quite distant from him and I think he noticed. It’s just difficult all this isn’t it.

I keep thinking that I am fed up with it all and actually now I feel trapped. There’s no point in me telling him I am fed up without also thinking I want things to change.  For me to move forward without him would be financially difficult apart from anything else so i am better just living like this as he is paying for everything and being nice enough to me. If I met someone else it would change things but I wouldn’t look for that atm because of the children as it would complicate things further. I guess I am looking for him to turn his head back here and start seeming like he wants to be with us more and then I would feel like that was an option. But when he does come round and is slightly interested I am being distant! Agh! I am going to get IC as not had that yet and it may help sort my head out.

I suppose this is Limboland

Rose 🌹
Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - Sept 2016
BD2 - May 2017
ILYBINILWY - June 2017
PA with MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2017
EA with same MOW Jan 2017 until ?
Left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents

Offline Silver

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Re: He’s having a mlc 2 - Lucky
« Reply #71 on: June 20, 2018, 03:17:38 AM »
Hi Rose,

Limboland it is and he is causing it of course. Nothing strange in your thoughts to move forward imo. We have only limited resources to them imo and there will come a point we start to think about what  else those could be spend on than other person's selfish crisis. I really feel for you in that Rose.
IC is a very good idea, probably helps you to sort out how you feel and what YOU want. Maybe also how much time you are willing to give to him.

Keep running, thinking of you.
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

Offline RosetintedglassesTopic starter

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Re: He’s having a mlc 2 - Lucky
« Reply #72 on: June 27, 2018, 08:49:52 AM »
Silver thank you so much.

This weekend H took D out and while they were away he left his jacket here as said he didn’t need it, as you can imagine I thought ‘oh I wonder what’s in his pockets’! Then I thought actually I don’t care, and I swerved the jacket completely while they were gone so he would know I didn’t go in to it if it was some kind of test! No more was said so who knows!

Afterwards when he was here he said he would come and do gardening the next day. This is the third time he’s said that and after he didn’t turn up before I realised I was believing what he was saying and I wouldn’t do it again. I tried that the next day but still found myself expecting him to turn up. He did turn up this time and spent all day gardening. It was nice just the 4 of us hanging round the house. It’s the first time he’s been here that long probably since Christmas. He stayed from around lunchtime until evening. I asked if he wanted to eat with us and he said yes if it was no trouble. I just busied myself in the kitchen most of the day so he felt easy. 

D asked H if he wanted to go on vacation and he made excuses and squirmed a bit so he doesn’t seem to fancy that. I do though so still hope to manage somehow. It’s in contrast to us getting a puppy as H talks a lot about that so is obviously happy enough about that but not the vacation.

He came back round the next night and took the car to take away the gardening rubbish, he was away for a while so not sure where else he went but I feel so much better now because I don’t care or I don’t have the energy to bother enough to care, or something!

His parents were round last week without him and MIL was saying she thinks his voice seems lighter and less down! I’ve not noticed that but she doesn’t say these things lightly so she may be on to something.

I never really mention much about my life as really feel this is for all the ins and outs of H, MLC & me but I keep busy being a Mom, go running, sell things on-line and meet friends. Not working as the ‘job’ I got is still a work in progress but I think that’s better for now as I have time to process all of this, I’m struggling to get an IC but will keep trying!

I’m remembering to enjoy these peaceful days as at some point one way or another things won’t be as easy, for a while.

Rose 🌹
Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - Sept 2016
BD2 - May 2017
ILYBINILWY - June 2017
PA with MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2017
EA with same MOW Jan 2017 until ?
Left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents

Offline Mrs.Smiling

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Re: He’s having a mlc 2 - Lucky
« Reply #73 on: June 27, 2018, 08:55:12 AM »
Hi Rose,
H did all that too in the beginning ..he would tell me he was coming by to do yard work, I would wait like a dummy believing him and then he wouldn't show.
After the 3rd time, I finally just said I'm good I can take care of it. Yet he still came over. Now, he doesnt show at all.

It's amazing the things they do, guilt maybe...shame..who knows..
Keep strong
Hugs
Be the best version of yourself... there is no other

You cant break my spirit, its my dreams you take - James Blunt

Offline Helpingme!

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Re: He’s having a mlc 2 - Lucky
« Reply #74 on: June 27, 2018, 09:10:40 AM »
Hello Rose
Good you left his Jacket alone. Who cares. And good no monkey braining where he goes. Save that energy for being super momma and running.
I do hope you get that Vacation though, it's good to get away.
I bet MIL is right, H does seem to be changing a little. That is good. It's a shame they move like a cripple turtle, but atleast he's moving.
Just keep on living Rose. Your doing a great job. I hope you can find an IC.  That will be good.

Offline same33

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Re: He’s having a mlc 2 - Lucky
« Reply #75 on: June 27, 2018, 09:57:01 AM »
Hi Rose

I hadn't caught up on your journey for a while. Glad to see you have your sense of humor and wits about you. You sound well. Keep it up girl!
M-44
W-41
S12, S9, S7
Married 9/25/2004
13 years of marriage
BD#1- December 22, 2014
BD#2- January 2, 2018
D filed 6/25/2018

Offline Sam I Am

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Re: He’s having a mlc 2 - Lucky
« Reply #76 on: June 27, 2018, 12:41:16 PM »
Glad to see him showing up and helping.   Small baby steps forward!  Bit by bit!
I choose to feel blessed
I choose to feel grateful
I choose to be excited
I choose to be thankful
I choose to be HAPPY

BD 10 29 2017  Moved out OW A began appox 7.17

Both of us born in 1966
Married 32.75 years
Together 35.25 years
D - 1989 Married with 2 children
S -  1991  living across Country  - relies on us for support
3 Dogs - 1 was his 
Standing - No legal action yet
3/5/18 OW moved/H moved in with F  
3/19/18  H moved home into spare room  Reason:  Wasn't happy w/ F 

6.22.18 announced he is moving to where OW is

7.14.18  Moved to be with OW over 14 hours away from home  Has an urge to be away from here and me

Offline RosetintedglassesTopic starter

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Re: He’s having a mlc 2 - Lucky
« Reply #77 on: July 02, 2018, 07:51:35 AM »
Mrs Smiling - that’s a good reality reminder, thanks for that
Help - no IC as yet, not finding it overly easy to get one but I will
Same - I’d say that’s a fair description of me, it’s so great you got that from my posts
Sam I am - hopefully its forward movement, it’ll become clear when I can look back

A family member sent me a message a few days ago saying he had met H in the City. He said H was off work and was shopping. I didn’t know this and asked ‘who was he with, where was he and what was he buying’?! Turns out I do care, partially because I didn’t want family knowing things I didn’t. It actually sent me into a bit of overdrive as I decided he was meeting someone from his choir, shopping with her and taking time off work to do this and not mentioning it. It annoyed me. FIL had said to me earlier in the week H had gone to choir practice and said ‘don’t wait up’ as was going out for drinks afterwards. The choir has 100 members, only 4 are men. I got a text back from family member saying H was alone buying a new T-shirt so I felt a bit better. But it did leave me wondering what’s so great about H that I am allowing myself to be in this position and feel like this.

H came round the next day and was saying that he had woken up one day this week with a terrible headache and felt sick so actually phoned his work to take some time off. He didn’t tell his parents (!) and lay in bed all day. The next day he said he met a family member while he was shopping. It made a bit more sense and I was happier as he hadn’t taken a day off work as vacation, he had been ‘ill’.

Rose 🌹
Married 15+ years with 2 children
BD1 - Sept 2016
BD2 - May 2017
ILYBINILWY - June 2017
PA with MOW Mar 2016-Jan 2017
EA with same MOW Jan 2017 until ?
Left home Oct 2017 to stay with his parents

Offline Sam I Am

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Re: He’s having a mlc 2 - Lucky
« Reply #78 on: July 02, 2018, 08:59:48 AM »
Nice to see he is doing some little bits of sharing what he is doing.  My H started to do this more.  Ex...stopped by the office today and told me he had been for breakfast then was going to meet a friend then home to do yard work.  Why....after months and months of secrecy he is now telling me things in addition to him telling me he is leaving again.

Crazy things they do!
I choose to feel blessed
I choose to feel grateful
I choose to be excited
I choose to be thankful
I choose to be HAPPY

BD 10 29 2017  Moved out OW A began appox 7.17

Both of us born in 1966
Married 32.75 years
Together 35.25 years
D - 1989 Married with 2 children
S -  1991  living across Country  - relies on us for support
3 Dogs - 1 was his 
Standing - No legal action yet
3/5/18 OW moved/H moved in with F  
3/19/18  H moved home into spare room  Reason:  Wasn't happy w/ F 

6.22.18 announced he is moving to where OW is

7.14.18  Moved to be with OW over 14 hours away from home  Has an urge to be away from here and me

Offline Silver

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Re: He’s having a mlc 2 - Lucky
« Reply #79 on: July 03, 2018, 03:07:24 AM »

A family member sent me a message a few days ago saying he had met H in the City. He said H was off work and was shopping. I didn’t know this and asked ‘who was he with, where was he and what was he buying’?! Turns out I do care, partially because I didn’t want family knowing things I didn’t. It actually sent me into a bit of overdrive as I decided he was meeting someone from his choir, shopping with her and taking time off work to do this and not mentioning it. It annoyed me. FIL had said to me earlier in the week H had gone to choir practice and said ‘don’t wait up’ as was going out for drinks afterwards. The choir has 100 members, only 4 are men. I got a text back from family member saying H was alone buying a new T-shirt so I felt a bit better. But it did leave me wondering what’s so great about H that I am allowing myself to be in this position and feel like this.


Oh Rose the Runner, how many times I have thought about this myself, why being miserable for them..monkey braining what they do or don't do and with whom...
I guess it is just part of the deal, something that doesn't just go away before it is right time.

You are doing good my friend, thinking of you  :)
"I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That's what faith can do." Kutless

 

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