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Author Topic: My Story Through the Looking Glass

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My Story Through the Looking Glass
#10: April 25, 2022, 07:42:57 PM
That is fantastic news HF!!!!

Congratulations!!!
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"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html
J
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Through the Looking Glass
#11: April 25, 2022, 08:07:38 PM
Excellent! Congrats!
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Everything has a beginning and an end. Life is just a cycle of stops and starts. They're ends we don't desire, but they're inevitable and we have to face them. That's what being human is all about.  -Jet Black, Cowboy Bebop
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Through the Looking Glass
#12: April 25, 2022, 08:24:50 PM
Wonderful news, HF! Wishing you all the best in this new chapter. I think I’ve said it before, but it beats repeating - your journey has been a true inspiration to me and I’m sure to many others. You are the very picture of what success on this journey means.
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Through the Looking Glass
#13: April 25, 2022, 10:18:09 PM
Great news, HF! Well done!
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg
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Through the Looking Glass
#14: April 26, 2022, 01:58:56 AM
Congratulations! That has to be a REAL relief for you and one less thing to have to worry about
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Me - 60, xW - 54
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 16, D - 12
1 Dog
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life
Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.
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Through the Looking Glass
#15: April 26, 2022, 06:29:02 AM
Congratulations on the new job and moving forward in New ways. I think this is fantastic!!! Specially, with a new job comes new interactions and progress and that gives new things to talk about and discuss with others. For me one of the hardest things was to be around people discussing their lives and I had not much to offer. With a new job there will be more new things to chat about. Congratulations again!!!
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There is almost something harder about someone being alive and having to lose what you believed to be true of them than someone actually dying.

Indefatigability - determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose
perspicacity- a clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight

Married July 1991
Jan 2018 BD1 moved out I filed for Div/ H stopped it
Oct 2018 moved back
Oct 2020 BD2
Feb 2021 Div-29 1/2 years
July 2021 Married OW
Feb 2022  XH fired
May 2023 went NC after telling XH we could not be friends
Aug 2023 XH moves w/o OWife
M
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Through the Looking Glass
#16: April 26, 2022, 10:03:41 PM
Congrats!  I’m glad you found a new job!
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Through the Looking Glass
#17: May 01, 2022, 02:53:57 PM
Congrats on the new job and moving house this Summer!  Very happy for you HF!
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Survival Instructions for Newbies

The Apology Every LBS Deserves

My Journey

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass - it's about learning to dance in the rain."

"Don't become a container for bitterness.  It's a toxin that destroys what it's carried in."
H
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Through the Looking Glass
#18: May 02, 2022, 08:44:38 PM
Thank you everyone for all your kind wishes.  I have so thankful for all of your support.

Well things are moving fast as I have more good news.   I have put in my notice for my apartment and found a house to rent which will be better for me and my D's.   I am really excited as it has a study so I can work from home remotely and has plenty of space for my D's.   

It is a little bittersweet though as I think about the housing market and what might have been had we stayed put with either of the houses that we owned prior to and during the MLC.   We sold and bought a home the year before the BD.  I know I can't take money with me, and I'm grateful that I am debt free while no longer having any risk of excessive spending by my XW.  I guess it just irks me that my XW and I are spending all this money individually on rent in this hot housing market.

My XW also continues to have chronic health issues which required me to help out more with the kids lately.   I don't mind as I love being a father to my kids, and I had to do this all throughout our marriage too.   I guess it's just weird now as I have to help out more for my kids sake while she struggles with her MLC and health.    She also has been asking me for help as a caretaker.    I feel conflicted as she fired me from that role and yet she still turns to me for help.   I continue to be cordial helping when appropriate, especially when she asks with the kids around.  I still think I need to set some boundaries too as I start my job soon.

In summary, I have a job and an exciting place for my kids and me to live at.   At the same time, I see the destruction that the MLC has had in my life, and I still am working to show compassion for my XW while detaching and focusing on my own journey.

Thanks for letting me share joy and vent at the same time tonight.

HF
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W - 42
M - 46
Together 19 years, M 17
2 kids
BD - July 2020
W Left Home - January 2021
W Filed for D - May 2021
D Final - Jan 2022
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Through the Looking Glass
#19: May 02, 2022, 09:51:45 PM
WooHooo HF  ;D

Things are looking up!! That's wonderful  8)

A caretaker eh? That doesn't surprise me at all. Survival trumps MLC, she knows you as a trustworthy person..... probably THE most trustworthy person.

I'm so glad and happy things are going well for ya.

-SS
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W - 43
M - 46
Together 28 years, M 25
No kids
BD - 27th April 2019
Start of Shadow - Feb 2012
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