[HeavenlyFocus]

Here is my new thread.  I will add a more detailed message later this weekend.

HF

[JohnnyBravo]

R2T mentioned supplements at the end of your previous thread... One of the books I read recommended GABA, which is supposed to slow activity in the brain (it's a neruotransmitter). I've been taking it, and I'm not sure if it's working or I'm just calming down over time.

R2T, any info on GABA?

JB

[HeavenlyFocus]

Hi JB,

I am aware of GABA but haven't taken it before.  Would be interested to get other's feedback.

Journaling:

Well, this past week has been good for me as I just slowed down had some downtime without the kids.   I am a point where I know I am moving forward in the right direction and making good decisions on the big things (Kids, Job Search, Healthy Eating/Exercise, Good Sleep).  My job search is going well and a couple of other opportunities have popped up which are interesting and could be good fits for me.

As for my XW, I continue to hear about her firm kids about her struggles with close relationships with friends here locally as well as some issues managing her motherly duties.   She appears to be trying as a Mom which I am grateful.   Just tough to watch her self-destruct with key relationships.   It has provided me complete confirmation of her MLC and I know I can't directly help her through her journey right now.   Tough to do as I always was her caretaker and was her Rock to help her through the hard times.   I am at a point where I have accepted reality and will let time work to heal me and my XW over time.  We are on our own journeys for now.

HF

[Standing Strong]

  Tough to do as I always was her caretaker and was her Rock to help her through the hard times.   I am at a point where I have accepted reality and will let time work to heal me and my XW over time.  We are on our own journeys for now.

Hey HF 

Oh I can soooooo relate to this. It's tough isn't it? That role we have (or used to have).... to be the protector, leader, fixer, rock and strength....... hard to let go.
There is a positive aspect to it though..... she has to learn to do some of this for herself, and if she wakes up later, can actually/totally/really appreciate what you do/did. Very awesome all that's going on in your life 

-SS
 

[MadLuv]

HF- I think that is the hardest part for detachment is the care giver role. You have no idea how much energy you put into that role until you try stop it. There is also the part of guilt that plays a role in it. Not deserved, but we feel bad that if we don’t continue that they will fall harder. For me now just finding out my XH has been married for months is just giving me that relief to let that role go. That is someone else’s issue, someone that has job idea their are issues or afraid to take her rose colored glasses off.

[HeavenlyFocus]

Good time to journal as much has happened over the past 4 weeks although things with the MLCer still appear to be the status quo.   The good news is I have had multiple interviews over the past couple of weeks and I think I may have an offer as soon as this week.   Also doing some contract work for the time being which will feels productive.   Really looking forward to getting back to work full time which should come as my severance runs out.  Good timing!   

As for XW, she seems to be in some inner battle with herself.   She had about a 7 to 10 day period of not feeling well and I was able to help out with the kids while the kids were with her during her week.   She actually even apologized to me for not feeling well, and I let her now that she never has to apologize with her chronic illness.  I still sympathize with her long-term health struggles although there are many other things that she needs to apologize for.  Maybe someday I will get one. 

As for the OM, still no public disclosure although he still appears to be in the picture based on her not being home one morning when our D needed something from her place.   Still can't believe that she has kept it hidden for over 2 years.  Craziness!

Well, learning to let the craziness go and treat her as a long lost relative that I still need to co-parent with.  Gotta live my own life now.

HF

[Ready2Transform]

R2T mentioned supplements at the end of your previous thread... One of the books I read recommended GABA, which is supposed to slow activity in the brain (it's a neruotransmitter). I've been taking it, and I'm not sure if it's working or I'm just calming down over time.

R2T, any info on GABA?

JB

Hey JB! Sorry, I just caught this! I've actually just gone back on GABA myself. I took it within the first few years post-BD, and it was effective for me (or like you, sort of in conjunction with returning to a normal state). I was having some sleep disturbances over the last few months and so far, along with meditation, it's helping.

Well, learning to let the craziness go and treat her as a long lost relative that I still need to co-parent with.  Gotta live my own life now.

Doing good, HF! Congrats on all the good news on the work front!

[PJ Ames]

Following along HF.

[Standing Strong]

Weird how they don't/can't admit eh HF?

I wonder if by the time they get around to being in a position to make a real switch, the feelings have worn down and they don't even want that anymore?

I'm so glad you're doing so well 

-SS

[HeavenlyFocus]

Thank you Ready, PJ, and SS for your continued support.

Big news to share today!   I received an offer and accepted a job.   I am going through the pre-hiring process right now and will start in May.   It is such a huge relief and will help as I move forward on my journey.   I am now planning to move to a house in the summer and my kids are really excited too.  I'm ready for some fun and positive memories this year after a difficult two years.   

HF