Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: LBS_Les on November 03, 2020, 04:43:57 PM
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I am not sure if this is allowed, Mods, delete if I broke a rule
Not sure what everyone is doing for the election, but thought I would start a thread. You dont have to discuss your views, just a thread for election coverage, if anyone is interested
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As a Canadian, I have to say.....I definitely invest a lot of my time and energy into American politics.
I dont think it needs to be said, but this is definitely an election to watch
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I have been pretty closed to anything.
The debates were a joke from what I glimpsed.
I did some research.
I voted.
I’ll wake up tomorrow and see what lies ahead.
Nothing will change if I stay up and agonize over the results.
Letting go...
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Sea, I think thats a level of detachment that a lot of us strive for.
Which makes me question, "Why am I so invested?" I have my reasons as to why I am, but then your comment is a reminder that as an LBS, the most important piece is detachment.
If I am invested in an election that has no bearing on my life, do I truly know "detachment"?
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If I am invested in an election that has no bearing on my life, do I truly know "detachment"?
But the results will have a huge impact on Canada and on the world.
My Canadian friends and family are watching very carefully.
I spend my first 50 years in Canada and have been able to vote in the last 2 US elections.
The results are going to impact me greatly.
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xyzcf,
As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, what America does, does not impact me. As a sister to a brother who is half black, these results have no bearing.
But what I see is, a nation who can or may endorse infringement of civil liberties that may or may not affect me, scares me. Does this lead us down a path of our future? Who is protected and who is not?
You have been to Canada, so you understand that what happens down south, may not fully impact what happens up North. But if this rhetoric is deemed acceptable, what does that hold for every countries future?
I know Canada may be affected in other ways, but for me, I invest in the humanitarian aspect of this race.
I appreciate Canada is impacted in many other ways....but I guess Im sitting on some tunnel vision about how it affects us
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I have my fingers crossed but things are really too early to predict.
A lot of southern states normally vote red, but there are so many other states that have not weighed in yet.
I think it may be a few days before we know anything for sure.
Thanks for starting this thread, LBS. ;D
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It should scare us ALL, LBS_Les.
“🎶He who forgets is destined to remember...🎶”
I was just remembering, a little over four years ago, in the early fall, I traveled to a bunch of Southern cities to see which one might feel the most like “home“ to me so I could choose where to start my new life. I remember flying back one night, I think it was from Savannah, or maybe Charleston, and the guy sitting (way too close) next to me on the plane talked my ear off the entire flight 🙄, and then I was in the Uber and the driver had his station tuned to the presidential debate and he talked my ear off🙄 (but clearly has no interest in listening to anything I might have to say). And they were both slimy , creeping misogynistic asshats but I thought they were anomalies and I still had a little hope for the future.
I went to bed four years ago completely thinking I would wake up to President Hillary Clinton. Now that we have seen four years of this utter madness, I can’t believe where things stand. No matter what happens, this race is just too close. The amount of people who care more about their own personal bank balance and 401(k) than the health, safety and wellbeing of their neighbors, and the amount of people who somehow think that the racism, misogyny, incitement of violence, denying of science, and general buffoonery is somehow acceptable makes me feel sad, scared and truly heartbroken.
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I am Canadian
But the results will have a huge impact on Canada and on the world.
My Canadian friends and family are watching very carefully.
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Yes and Yes ....we are watching closely, it is talked about everyday , we are "nervous" as many that I talk with know precisely what we hope happens. To us , the United States is in a state of utter chaos as a result of a lack of leadership, COVID that seemingly is being ignored and the loss of life is heartbreaking , riots and division . It truly is very concerning and scary . I hope something far better happens for our friends in the states.
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It should scare us ALL, LBS_Les.
“🎶He who forgets is destined to remember...🎶”
I was just remembering, a little over four years ago, in the early fall, I traveled to a bunch of Southern cities to see which one might feel the most like “home“ to me so I could choose where to start my new life. I remember flying back one night, I think it was from Savannah, or maybe Charleston, and the guy sitting (way too close) next to me on the plane talked my ear off the entire flight 🙄, and then I was in the Uber and the driver had his station tuned to the presidential debate and he talked my ear off🙄 (but clearly has no interest in listening to anything I might have to say). And they were both slimy , creeping misogynistic asshats but I thought they were anomalies and I still had a little hope for the future.
I went to bed four years ago completely thinking I would wake up to President Hillary Clinton. Now that we have seen four years of this utter madness, I can’t believe where things stand. No matter what happens, this race is just too close. The amount of people who care more about their own personal bank balance and 401(k) than the health, safety and wellbeing of their neighbors, and the amount of people who somehow think that the racism, misogyny, incitement of violence, denying of science, and general buffoonery is somehow acceptable makes me feel sad, scared and truly heartbroken.
Nas, all of this! I cannot believe its a close race when the rights of so many, are being infringed upon.
Party belief or not, human rights are rights, and people are clearly showing which side of the line, they stand on
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I am Canadian
But the results will have a huge impact on Canada and on the world.
My Canadian friends and family are watching very carefully.
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Yes and Yes ....we are watching closely, it is talked about everyday , we are "nervous" as many that I talk with know precisely what we hope happens. To us , the United States is in a state of utter chaos as a result of a lack of leadership, COVID that seemingly is being ignored and the loss of life is heartbreaking , riots and division . It truly is very concerning and scary . I hope something far better happens for our friends in the states.
Barbie, as a Canadian, I have to say, I dont know how this will impact us. Our government seems to be turned off by American Politics and doesn't seem to stand for what's happening down there (e.g. When trump wanted to refuse PPE distribution to us).
But happy to understand the long term implications a possible Trump relection may bring to us.
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"I cannot believe its a close race when the rights of so many, are being infringed upon."
I agree 100%!!!!
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First I just wanted to make clear that I still am a Canadian citizen. I became a US citizen 4 years ago and have lived in 2 states since 2003.
The president of the US is an important force worldwide. Two areas that already impact Canada are pulling out of the Paris climate accord and the WHO.
Many Canadians work for US companies. There are much stricter rules about bringing Canadians to fill US positions which can impact the ability to rise in your company’s hierarchy.
Tourism is important to both countries. I know many Canadians who do not wish to spend vacation dollars in the US.
There are many other examples. It may not affect the day to day life in Canada but it will have economic and social implications for many on both sides of the border. Including the perception that many have of Americans.
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First I just wanted to make clear that I still am a Canadian citizen. I became a US citizen 4 years ago and have lived in 2 states since 2003.
The president of the US is an important force worldwide. Two areas that already impact Canada are pulling out of the Paris climate accord and the WHO.
Many Canadians work for US companies. There are much stricter rules about bringing Canadians to fill US positions which can impact the ability to rise in your company’s hierarchy.
Tourism is important to both countries. I know many Canadians who do not wish to spend vacation dollars in the US.
There are many other examples. It may not affect the day to day life in Canada but it will have economic and social implications for many on both sides of the border. Including the perception that many have of Americans.
I can understand this xyzcf. I am Canadian and work for a Canadian bank that acquired banks in the US. I was easily granted a working Visa in the US not to work down there, but to reduce the number of questions I was asked during business travel, about why I was travelling and spending a lot of time in the US. At that time, I even though, WTF? Why so many questions? And that was Many, MANY years ago. I cant even imagine trying to get that same Visa in today's day and age
And I too fall on the spectrum of "I won't spend money in the US in its current state", but that to me, hinders the US economy, and not ours? In 2016 "How can I move to Canada" was one of the most asked questions. Canadians are not looking to emigrate to the US, but Americans are looking to Immigrate to Canada. To me, it feels like a win, for us.
However, I do understand NAFTA implications, and to a degree, the Paris Climate accord. But really, I think a lot of the countries in the accord, will continue to exist without the participation of the US.
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I am soooo nervous but not watching. Four years ago today, xh, our children and I ate dinner and watching the election news... at OW and her XHs house...(barf). Months later...they blew our families up!
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However, I do understand NAFTA implications, and to a degree, the Paris Climate accord. But really, I think a lot of the countries in the accord, will continue to exist without the participation of the US.
I agree.
I was also wondering about the ties the countries have within the military? I don’t know but I do believe there are close ties there.
I have many friends asking me about how they can move to Canada. It is something I struggle with personally as well. Before COVID I would fly home 4 times a year and there are many reasons why I like living in Colorado., so that worked well for me. If I were to move back to Canada I would prefer that it be a choice I make at a time that would be the right time for my life, not because of who wins the election.
In the past, even if the candidate I would prefer didn’t win, it was ok..there was not this fear.
We shall see.
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I have many friends asking me about how they can move to Canada. It is something I struggle with personally as well. Before COVID I would fly home 4 times a year and there are many reasons why I like living in Colorado., so that worked well for me. If I were to move back to Canada I would prefer that it be a choice I make at a time that would be the right time for my life, not because of who wins the election.
I can relate to this. My W is American (her family is from Mexico). I used to joke with everyone that I had to be the first Gringa that married a Mexican for a green card to the US. She's lived in Canada as a PR for 30 years and always wanted to get Canadian Citizenship, and I used to try to talk her out of it so that we could keep our options open to maybe move to the US one day.
She never liked that idea....she has never wanted to return to the US since she moved from Arizona. I never understood it.
I get it now.
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I skimmed most of this thread, and please take this the way it is offered: I think this is a bad idea.
Regardless of our views on the world, and trust me I have strong ones myself, this is not the place. There are so many forums where politics (or depending on view loss of democracy) can be talked about. I think here we want to maintain a support community, because we are here to support each other in one very specific area of our lives. Regardless of faith, beliefs, viewpoints, knowledge etc.
This kind of topics, at least in the US, is toxic. It is not an open discussion. I don't think we need it here.
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i think one question i find interesting is how did the pollsters get it so wrong...again?
I think Washington Post had one recent (in wisc?) @ JB +16%...Fox news had one national @ JB + 8%
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They got it wrong because much of the country does not trust the news or pollsters because of the way they twist things. So they simply do not participate or in fact mess with the polls.
Some of the narrative that is expressed here is very much based on the false narrative that this election is based on race or bigotry. By in large Trump voters supported him based not on their like of him. In fact his personality is repulsive. It is based on his policies. There is a referendum on socialism in this vote, the economy, religious rights, states rights, school choice, pro/life versus pro choice, Israel, taxes, healthcare, the courts. This is just to name a few. Not to mention Americans for years were expected to protect the West, but we were also constantly ridiculed.
This is complicated for those of us who live here. It’s not as simple as he’s a jerk. His policies are the opposite of the other sides policies. We have a situation where one person seems to be a puppet and the other a narcissist. Not exactly great choices. Just my observations in FL currently and from TX.
We are very much aware that this election is scary. The rioting. Many of us do not want another mass lockdown. Not just because of money, but because we have been waiting to live our lives for 6 months. It’s time to wash our hands, wear a mask, be wise, but live our lives. I hope I do not get attacked for my opinion.
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This kind of topics, at least in the US, is toxic. It is not an open discussion. I don't think we need it here.
Marvin and I actually agree.
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If mods agree with marvin, my ask is please and respectfully that mods will lock the thread. It seems the role of community moderators to do that.
Otherwise, my take as a spirited American voter and global citizen is that it’s good to hear the voices of non-Americans at this time. Whatever the election results will be or why, and no matter what happens afterward, we all are still in this together. You non-Americans don’t have to live in it every day, but hopefully we all do understand that the American vote and state of things in the USA do affect you and other parts of this planet.
I’m grateful for your input no matter what. Thank you for starting and having this discussion.
I’d rather read you, than the news. (((HUGS)))
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This kind of topics, at least in the US, is toxic. It is not an open discussion. I don't think we need it here.
Marvin and I actually agree.
Me too. We have one big thing in common. Focusing on that allows for the support and empathy we all need.
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We have had threads that have been much more contentious on HS and we have had threads that have discussed a wide variety of topics that don't pertain to MLC.
The posts have been respectful.
Sometimes we can learn a lot by hearing another person's point of view when it is done in a respectful manner.
I don't see the need to lock this thread. As with any other issue, people are free to read or comment or not.
LBS_Less started this discussion thread in a polite and non judgmental manner.
HS is made up of people from many countries around the world, not just Americans. Their views and our views can be helpful in explaining some of what is happening in this country.
To lock this topic seems to me to be a sort of censorship, not exactly what democracy is about.
Just my view.
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In the spirit of the original post,
Yesterday I poured a mint julep about three minutes after I woke up. I took my libation outside and sat in the yard with my dog and just started election day in an altogether different way than I had four years ago or any other time.
I voted sometime that afternoon without having topped up or fixed another drink. I had said to D before I left, though, that what I really wanted was to get the vote taken care off, then come home and have a shot, some salty crunchy anxiety-relieving snack, and then just nestle in and watch Treme until the results were in.
;) I’m actually too girly for a shot of bourbon, so I didn’t do that. I did the other stuff though and I like how that’s working for me.
No matter where we are or what we believe in, this year has been such a wild ride. So we just be good together, I figure, and notice where it isn’t the vote or result that counts as much as all the life and ordinary small moments around us do.
Today D had one class and afterward we both just chilled out in our respective spaces. She occasionally called out new news, or something to laugh at.
I pondered canvases and looked into which states allow pet skunks legally. Then came outside periodically and sat listening to hummingbirds as they came in for a look and flew by.
Otherwise, this was on rotation several times today, released about a week after the USA elections in 1992:
https://youtu.be/cM4kqL13jGM
Because no matter what, we’re cool like dat.
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Interesting to watch... I just find it difficult to swallow that whoever is voted in will influence the country I live in too!
I find the American Electoral process difficult to understand, although we have reporters here in Brazil who are willing to explain it. :)
I have expressed this before, I think that due to the influence America has on the rest of the world - the whole world should be allowed to have an opinion ;D
Good luck fellow Americans! Just don't let politics separate you as a people - we have been through this here in Brazil, families split down the middle, neighbors on warring sides, lifelong friendships destroyed over politics...
The world needs a healthy America, a prosperous and generous nation, friendly and respectful of its fellow nations in the world, setting an example of democracy, freedom and sustainable development.
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"I don't see the need to lock this thread. As with any other issue, people are free to read or comment or not."
I agree xyzcf.....
Mego....that sounds pretty bitter to me.
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Good luck fellow Americans! Just don't let politics separate you as a people - we have been through this here in Brazil, families split down the middle, neighbors on warring sides, lifelong friendships destroyed over politics...
I wish I could say that it wasn't already too late..... There is SO much vitriol and hared on both sides. No one is willing to listen to the other side about ANYTHING and, even if it was a good idea, because "they" presented it, it must be denigrated and shot down....
The world needs a healthy America, a prosperous and generous nation, friendly and respectful of its fellow nations in the world, setting an example of democracy, freedom and sustainable development.
This describes the America of the 60's/70's/even the 80's and early 90's..... Not any more .... The US is a dysfunctional nation, incapable of looking beyond it's own belly-button toward the world at large. On every second street corner is some kook screaming about how the "globalist elites" are coming to take away their guns, their freedoms, and to serve up their babies in a sauce.... It is VERY disheartening for some one like me, a US citizen, who dedicated 10 years of his life to serving in the US military to protect and guard the freedoms that the US enjoys to see those freedoms destroyed from within by greed, power plays, and outright narcissism.....
Jimmy Fallon had a good take on this election.... He said it is "like waking up with a hangover and realizing that you are still in the bar."
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It is VERY disheartening for some one like me, a US citizen, who dedicated 10 years of his life to serving in the US military to protect and guard the freedoms that the US enjoys to see those freedoms destroyed from within by greed, power plays, and outright narcissism.....
“A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!”
- King Richard III from William Shakespeare’s play, ‘Richard III.’
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UM:
This describes the America of the 60's/70's/even the 80's and early 90's..... It is VERY disheartening for some one like me, a US citizen, who dedicated 10 years of his life to serving in the US military to protect and guard the freedoms that the US enjoys to see those freedoms destroyed from within by greed, power plays, and outright narcissism.....
First UM Thank you for your service and to all who have served and are serving. With Nov 11 approaching, let us not ever forget the men and women who have served and fought for our democracy.
This is what gives me hope. Throughout history and in every country, there have been times of chaos and unrest, brother against brother, neighbor against neighbor...yet, out of the turmoil, a leader arises, people decide that this insanity has to stop, people draw together to find a way to resolve the issues that create so much distrust, so much pain for all. I believe in the inherent good of people and that goodness will prevail.
UM when I read your post, I immediately thought of my father. On this thread, we had talked about the effect that one country has upon another......
My dad was a POW during WWII in Japan. A Canadian soldier, a mere 18 years old when he was captured and spent the next 3 1/2 years in captivity. It was US troops that liberated his camp. Initially air dropping chocolate bars and cigarettes into the camp. The US troops brought these soldiers to Guam where they were turned over the Canadian troops to bring home.
Our allies have worked together through many crisis.....the Newfoundlanders who opened their homes to US passengers during 911.....
Let us not forget the years of strong relationships and what is possible.
As John Lennon sang so sweetly in "Imagine"
"You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one"
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God, mego.
Still with regard to original post, I am vaguely watching for definitive news and haven’t found any. Am sort of relying on late night and social media comedy accounts to let me know our election results.
Also, I don’t mind saying, I am ready for a brunch libation. Not because alcoholism (yet), but because I feel like I am laying over and waiting for the connecting flight in a totally unfamiliar airport.
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I can understand that at times, politics is a divide, and I can understand that a thread like this, make cause issues.
My intent at the time, was to have a thread to discuss what was happening that night, to whomever wanted to discuss things. I did not intend for anyone to make their sides known, to show their hand, but to have a discussion of the process, interpretation from other sides of the world.
If the consensus is to close it down, I have no issue with this.
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No LBS Les - you don't have to close it down.
If viewpoints start to be too contentious and inflammatory then it will be shut down anyway as those kind of comments breach the code.
I as UK member am watching the election with interest and of course over here we have such a different system of voting that it is quite fascinating. Living through it must be a totally different ball game.....
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I voted early, but wonder if my vote actually got counted since it was mail in. They can decide they didn't like my signature that day, and that is a frustration, not knowing if my vote was even counted. I don't think I'll do that again.
I am always amazed when someone calls a 48.9 % to 49.3% state when only 67% of the votes are counted. I have no idea what that formula is. I don't concern myself with the outcome, because I already did what I could do, and I have no choice but to deal with what comes out of it. This four years, too, will pass. All of them did, the good and bad. And we're still here. No amount of anxiety will change the results, why borrow trouble?
Just my take.
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No LBS Les - you don't have to close it down.
If viewpoints start to be too contentious and inflammatory then it will be shut down anyway as those kind of comments breach the code.
Thanks - I wasn't going to close it down, I was just saying if the Mods felt it needed to be, I wouldn't be opposed if the consensus was to not keep this discussion open.
I voted early, but wonder if my vote actually got counted since it was mail in. They can decide they didn't like my signature that day, and that is a frustration, not knowing if my vote was even counted. I don't think I'll do that again.
I'm not sure what state you voted in, but I believe all states that allowed Mail in Ballots, have a tracking mechanism in place, where you can go to a website, enter your detail and confirm if the ballot was accepted. Might be worth finding if you want to be sure it counted?
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I voted early, but wonder if my vote actually got counted since it was mail in. They can decide they didn't like my signature that day, and that is a frustration, not knowing if my vote was even counted. I don't think I'll do that again.
Each state has resources to check on your mail in vote. If signatures don't match, they contact you.
https://mashable.com/article/how-to-check-if-mail-in-ballot-received-counted-presidential-election/
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I voted early, but wonder if my vote actually got counted since it was mail in. They can decide they didn't like my signature that day, and that is a frustration, not knowing if my vote was even counted. I don't think I'll do that again.
Each state has resources to check on your mail in vote. If signatures don't match, they contact you.
https://mashable.com/article/how-to-check-if-mail-in-ballot-received-counted-presidential-election/
Oddly enough, when I enter my valid information, I get the message "Invalid Credentials". Just my luck, but thank you both for letting me know about this.
ETA: I take it back. They have my name with an extra character in it. Weird, but not my problem. I'll have to fix it next year. And it did arrive but has not been counted. Yay!
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ETA: I take it back. They have my name with an extra character in it. Weird, but not my problem. I'll have to fix it next year. And it did arrive but has not been counted. Yay!
Right on!!! :)
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I voted early, but wonder if my vote actually got counted since it was mail in. They can decide they didn't like my signature that day, and that is a frustration, not knowing if my vote was even counted. I don't think I'll do that again.
Each state has resources to check on your mail in vote. If signatures don't match, they contact you.
https://mashable.com/article/how-to-check-if-mail-in-ballot-received-counted-presidential-election/
Oddly enough, when I enter my valid information, I get the message "Invalid Credentials". Just my luck, but thank you both for letting me know about this.
ETA: I take it back. They have my name with an extra character in it. Weird, but not my problem. I'll have to fix it next year. And it did arrive but has not been counted. Yay!
Sorry, did your vote count? I was a bit confused as you said its not counted?
I believe you can go through an ID process to clear the air on any misunderstanding, to have your vote count
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The site says my vote has arrived, it has been accepted, but not "counted". As in they haven't tallied it with the rest of the votes yet.
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Biden won!!
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Biden won!!
It will be interesting to see what stems from this victory in the coming days.
We know Trump won't concede, so I assume it will be months and months of lawsuits.
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This is one of the only US elections I’ve taken real interest. I’ll be honest, last time I was like “nope, trump isn’t gonna do it” to me he is the US Alan sugar 🤷🏽♀️
I’m not sure it’ll change my life massively from over the pond. But I will say this, Trump is perfect for TV. I’ll be watching his tantrum with popcorn
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Joe Biden, President Elect :D will speak tonight with Kamala Harris at 8 PM ET.
Democracy prevailed!
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I love the irony of Trump being on the golf course, one that he spent SOOOO much time on, to learn he lost
And now he's going to have to drive through the 1000's of people celebrating in the streets of Washington.
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And most importantly, congrats to Kamala Harris FOR BEING THE FIRST VP of colour!
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https://www.tmz.com/2020/11/07/joe-biden-german-shepherd-major-first-rescue-dog-white-house/
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A woman of color in the executive branch, an animal lover in the Oval Office! While we can’t ignore the level of division in the US these days, today feels like a win for progress and for compassion.
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A woman of color in the executive branch, an animal lover in the Oval Office! While we can’t ignore the level of division in the US these days, today feels like a win for progress and for compassion.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D