Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: the_little_bee on November 07, 2013, 06:00:17 AM
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As Christmas is fast approaching, I've been pondering what to do about whether to send a card and/or present to my H.
Part of me thinks sod it, he's not getting anything (the angry part). And the part that is truly me thinks I should send something small. Just a token gift, but something I know he would appreciate. It's certainly not going to be the gift I had been planning. But as long as I send it expecting nothing in return and no acknowledgement of my gift, it might be ok. I would be being true to myself if I sent something.
What are people's thoughts?
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I too am wondering this. If there is an ow, I am sure she would appreciate the thought.LOL
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Our 25. anniversary of marriage was in April and OFC bought her a gift. Both our birthdays was in September, I bought her a gift. Guess what I get ? You guess right. I got nothing. :D
Gift for her at Christmas ? No way.
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For my 40th this year I got nothing but monstering insults. No card, nothing. Hadn't even got the children to do anything for me. It is a day I will never forget. Thankfully I did have my family to pull me off of the floor. He did absolutely nothing for my birthday last year also.
So no, I will not be buying anything for him. OW can do that.
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Thought about it too. Like you, I have no children with my husband.
I think I'm going to get him a Magic 8 Ball, and will say to him "This is to help you in your decision making."
I figure, this way, it will up the odds of him making a correct choice once in a while.
(http://i865.photobucket.com/albums/ab218/hammerhead10photos/th_8ballLargeWebview_zps2eea71c2.jpg) (http://s865.photobucket.com/user/hammerhead10photos/media/8ballLargeWebview_zps2eea71c2.jpg.html)
example: "Is she my soul mate?"
8 Ball: "sources say No"
If we are instructed here to not make overt gestures to an MCLer because it causes them to pull away, is Christmas the exception? Your thread poses a very good question.
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Absolutely give him a token gift. It's Christmas....anger, resentment, bitterness? Really? A photo of the kids....fur kids... book he would like....that sort of thing. No card if you can help it...just a simple to/from tag. If you have kids, they should honor their father...PERIOD!! Being kind is not being a doormat. LOVE is about GIVING, not about receiving or keeping score.
If you are thinking I don't understand how "UNDESERVING" your husband is, think again. Go read the articles on AGAPE.
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I think each to his own. I, for one, will not be giving H any gift. It is not about anything more than I am choosing not to.
I have been kind, compassionate, and caring since the day he left, as well as before, but that doesn't mean I have to give him a gift.
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Yes, I think it's very much a persona choice, I was just interested in different viewpoints :)
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Mine will get a gift, and an invitation to dinner. He stayed the night last year but I wouldn't feel comfortable with that this year.
Christmas is and always will be about families getting together. He is my children family and that makes him part of mine. As much as I don't like him right now, I just couldn't ignore him at Christmas.
So he will get an invite, from me personally.
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Then again, I forgot to add that my H isn't involved at all with our family life, not one bit. We do not see him, and he doesn't communicate whatsoever, so different case to many.
Last year he texted me the day before to say he wanted to come here on Christmas Day, his first time seeing the kids in 6 months or more since BD when he walked out. I said it wasn't a good idea for his initial visit, and he didn't come. The following week would have been fine, but not on Christmas Day. The kids had a rough year and looking forward to it, and he wasn't going to ruin it. It was a good call, and worked out better for the kids that way. He has done enough damage.
In the summer, he came and dropped off our gifts. Very sad in a way to see him unload everything, and he even sneaked in a gift for me, whispering to S "that's for mom". Just the other day I thought how sad to think of him Christmas shopping last year and buying presents for us all. How would we know, he doesn't speak to us.
Now he is with OW, it will be "their" Christmas, and their first together, so I'm sure he will have fun :o ::). My kids have the choice to send him something, but I think they will refrain, who knows, maybe they will send him something, up to them.
He chose to not be in our lives, so whether to send him something is a choice we all have to make. For me it is a no. His treatment of his children is the lowest of the low, on top of everything else. Christmas or no Christmas, I will not praise or give gifts to a man who is so disgusting to his family. That being said, it isn't the reason why I am not giving him anything, I am just choosing not to.
For those who have a spouse they currently see or have them in their lives in some way, I think it might be different, but for us, he hasn't even given us an address. ::)
All so, so sad as we used to have great Christmases, just the 4 of us.
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Christmas 2011, I give her quite a few gifts (still reeling after BD a month earlier), she gave me a few things (probably already bought from pre-BD days).
Christmas 2012, I gave her some chocolate, a pair of leather driving gloves, and some stocking gifts . She gave me nothing.
Christmas 2013, I will probably give her a few token gifts; I expect nothing in return. Two years in and she keeps going deeper into the tunnel.
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Just chiming in here....every Christmas Eve, we have given the kids new pajamas. That has been the tradition in MY home since before H and I got together. I do not intend to stop that tradition now that H has left. I will invite H over for Christmas Eve because I know that he will want to be there for the kids. As far as a gift, H mentioned something that he wanted to get for himself, and I thought about talking to the kids about all of us going in on it together. If the kids are okay with it, then the gift will be from all of us, and not just from me. I am still contemplating whether or not I want to get him a gift that is just from me. I still have some time to think about that one.
To me, it is all a personal choice. There is no right or wrong way in this. If you feel comfortable giving your MLCer a gift, knowing full well that you most likely will not get one, then by all means, do what you feel is right for you. If you do not feel comfortable giving your MLCer a gift, there is nothing that says you HAVE to give them a gift. The CHOICE is solely yours, and yours alone!
CT 8)
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Snowdrop,
Your situation is very different to mine. I completely understand your stance on this.
We can have a lovely, special party thread here on Christmas eve. I'll be here :D xx
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tricky!
the first christmas after husband left, i ended up spending more on him than anybody else (with the exception of son) and got the most gawdawful beaded necklace thingy (i can't believe he even picked it out...) and a candle. this from the man who used to buy big rubbermaid bins to use as my stocking. i was heartbroken, not from the lack of gifts but because of what it represented. i still hadn't found out about OW at that time.
i would not buy husband a gift if it weren't for son, but what i now get him (same every year - doesn't even have to bother opening it, because i'm sure he can easily guess) is a 5x7 of son's school pic (i bought him a frame for the second christmas after he left - he can change that out or not) and a $25 gift card for son's favourite restaurant so they can go together. last year, during his failed return attempt, i added a couple of cigars and i'm glad i didn't go overboard because within a month, he was gone again.
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Maybe I can send him a photo of me and the kids outside the soup kitchen, but then again, he probably won't get it as he will be on vacation somewhere in the South Pacific with OW.
Wish I was kidding on this one :o
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You won't be outside a soup kitchen!
You'll be in your kitchen pouring out some sort of drink to join in the osrty, here :)
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You won't be outside a soup kitchen!
You'll be in your kitchen pouring out some sort of drink to join in the osrty, here
You are absolutely right.
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What's an osrty? :o
Hehe, I will be here with a bottle of irish cream and chocolates. And my kids, trying to rob me of it all :)
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What's an osrty?
Doesn't matter, I'll join anyway. I'm guessing its a party due to it being Christmas? ;)
Reminds me, some of those gifts from last year still sitting in the garage, in fact most of them.
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I've always tried hard to surprise H with Christmas gifts. Last year, pre BD I had printed off details of places to visit in NZ and added a little note that we could plan our first holiday together. I debated after BD whether to give it to him or not and ended up giving him the envelope when we were alone on Christmas night. It went unopened for about 6 weeks. He said later he thought it was a list of demands from me ( it was one very fat envelope so the thought of it being a list must have been scarey :) )
I bought tickets for a concert that I know he likes just before he left! The concert is at the beginning of December. I have given him the tickets saying it is an early Christmas present, and he can take whoever he likes. The tickets are still sat here on his desk. I refuse to think about the waste of money if he doesn't use them, not my problem.
I'm not expecting anything from H this year either. Christmas pre-BD I got nothing!! Last year (big family Christmas with D and SIL from overseas) it was a gift voucher from a hardware store, which was bought on Christmas Eve, at the same time as he was buying nuts and bolts for a work project (showed up on the business credit card!) For my 50th birthday last month a got a generic card in the mail with 'from H'. Made me feel really good!
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I will get H and MIL and Son-IL and his Wife small gift cards. Just to let them know I'm thinking of them. I will take the high road.
Last year H was stupid enough to buy a necklace for ow while S10 was with him. S10 told me that Dad had bought a necklace (don't tell my son what you are buying someone for Christmas, he can't keep a secret! ;D) and I confronted him as I knew it wasn't for me. I told him I hoped she liked it as he always did have good taste in jewelry........
He came in about a week later and Monstered that he took the necklace back so now NO ONE would be getting it. I think ow had broken up with H and he was trying to win her back and she said no....hehehehe!
Wow, was that only last year? Feels like a lot longer ago than that!
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In my current situation, with H draining the bank acct and leaving just a smidge at the bottom of the barrel, and threatening to cease paying house bills, cutting off my credit lines, etc. I'm in no position to shop anyway. So, problem solved, as far as spending $ on any gift for him.
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You gonna get a recipe from a crazy old aunt WW? ;D ;D ;D ;D
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You gonna get a recipe from a crazy old aunt WW? ;D ;D ;D ;D
No. I was going to just ask YOU for one!
He'll say..."tastes funny - What's InIt?" :o
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Yep-syrup of ipecac..goes in anything..a whole bottle should do it!
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For sure I think it depends upon whether they are in your life or not, and how you feel. has to be genuine and no expectation to receive anything back. Blows my mind to see when people give, waiting to receive. Not true gift giving.
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OK I think little bee was serious when she started this thread..us war horses should show some respect . Myself included.
Sorry little bee- I knew this would happen when I read the title..ummmmm..a little revenge venting going on here.
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Haha - yes I was serious, but I don't mind some light entertainment :) Life's too short to take everything seriously. I think I started the thread mostly out of curiosity about how people deal with the present situation.
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OK at BD three years ago I toyed with the idea of sending the used kitty litter wrapped up with a bow and sending it in the mail to both of them. Exow was in the house then.
This year is zero for him.
Might be for all of them if they don't get thier $h!te together soon!
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I will probably give the wife a coffee card for her favorite place and some bath salts/candles stuff like that. Just a token. If I don't I'm a hater and if I do she doesn't want it. I prefer to just to the kind thing as a very small token of what my heart feels.
For me, I expect nothing. Doubly hard. My birthday is Christmas Eve. Christmas used to be the BIG thing for the wife...The tree would be going up any day now. lol
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Should we buy, should we not, and if yes, what would be "suitable" ;)
For me, the answer is a definite NOT for my H, as he has been neither naughty nor nice, just nasty.
I can stil see him now, sitting on the sofa as i told him of our friends experience after her husband called out of the blue to say he wanted a divorce (MLC 100%), little did i know he was making notes, and thinking "note to self: when its my turn to go, must not screw up as this guy did, and pay support" :o
So, nothing on my list for H. He will be miles away with OW in the sun, and far too busy having fun on their first Christmas together ::). Imagine that shopping credit card bill :o. Thats okay though as they are soulmates, and very much in luuurrrvve.
What I wish for H is that he gets rotten drunk in front of OW and her friends and family, and all the truth spills out. Merry Christmas H :-*
For those thinking of purchasing a gift for their MLer, may I suggest:
- A home streaks and tips kit for all their hair dye needs
- Large key chains, to hang on their tourist hoddie zipper, as my H does 8) :o ::) He is in his 50s ::)
- Memory book with names and pictures of children and pets
- A subscription for Booboos husband, where someone reminds him daily of her shops closing time.
The list goes on, please add.
PS. I know that many of you are far kinder people than I am, so for those who are mlc gift giving, please add your ideas too.
To end this, I am thinking of a Christmas song that denotes our MLCers, or just a few, Dasher, Dancer, Blitzen, or maybe that is just my H ::)
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COAL
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Nuts.
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nothing at all they deserve sh,,,,t sorry not very festive of me i know
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How about a swift kick in the groin? I think I can accommodate that! 8)
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I thought about the memory book as H was texting 10 days ago asking about pictures of the boys...but then he never even came to visit them at all over the holiday. Maybe he wants the pictures to recall what they look like..
Then I thought that if I did that I would seem like a doormat, plus he'd then be able to snuggle up to OW and talk about our boys when I want her to have NOTHING to do with my sons. They want NOTHING to do with her!
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Rock bottom. Wait, we can't buy them that... ::) ::) ::)
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Bag of cat crap tied up with a bow.. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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IN IT lol ;D ;D ;D
sounds good though
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And I thought you were joking about the thread...!! I bet I can come up with a few ;)
xxx
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Love the bag of crap, In It! ;D
I have decided that, since our finances are still tied together, H's Christmas present will build on his birthday present (a credit card bill for sexy lingerie he will never see). Christmas will be a bill for one of the local sex shops. Its a bit perverse, but I like the idea of making him think about what I might be doing. :D
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Hm, in my country of origin Father Christmas is accompanied by Servant Rupert with the wip. Only good kids should get presents, bad kids (are threatedned) to get the whip.... ;D
That said, just looked that one up on internet, and noticed this Servant Rupert might be a symbol for the dark side of people, the shadow...argh... does that mean did Father Christmas also have a MLC????
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Ever heard of Krumpas..for misbehaved kids... ( I think that's how it's spelled)
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A mirror - in the vague hope they might look deeply into it... on second thoughts, they will probably just admire their new look! Scrap that ;)
xxx
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I wish I could by rock bottom for my W. Because of her MLC i will not be able to by the kids nearly what I would like too.
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SPEND TIME with the kids..don't BUY them this year..do what you can..don't overextend yourself.
Take them places, hold them, read a Christmas book to them.. start a tradition.
The "I Spy Christmas Book" is a GREAT one to do together and find things within the gorgeous photos. Provide peace and quiet time. For the younger ones.
The older one's? Write a letter to them not a text or email. Tell them how proud you are of them and how much you love them. LOTS OF HUGS!!!
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For those of you in the UK, there are only 3 left, and going for 5 pounds.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/B-V-Leisure-123456-Mid-Life-Crisis/dp/B0006D397C
Imagine playing this with your spouse.
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For those of you in the UK, there are only 3 left, and going for 5 pounds.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/B-V-Leisure-123456-Mid-Life-Crisis/dp/B0006D397C
Imagine playing this with your spouse.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I love this description:
To outwit them you might declare a midlife crisis in which you would try to free yourself from the bonds of money, marriage and reason.
xxx
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A magic 8 ball. For all those important- decisions making- reality bites- moments ::)
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For those of you in the UK, there are only 3 left, and going for 5 pounds.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/B-V-Leisure-123456-Mid-Life-Crisis/dp/B0006D397C
Imagine playing this with your spouse.
Ha - there is one review: 'as seasoned board game players (must have accumilated about 25 new sets by now) at christmas we didnt like this one, seemed like 20 year old ex shop stock, with dust on it?! just not very fun at all, got retired to the attic after 5 mins '
Is it just me finding some double meanings in that review :) Especially 'just not very fun at all'!
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A magic 8 ball. For all those important- decisions making- reality bites- moments ::)
;D ;D ;D ;D That's my favorite so far!
Hmmm...maybe a new pair of running shoes. They tend to go through them rather quickly, what with all the running away from their problems.
One of these might help navigate the fog...http://www.amazon.com/Forum-Novelties-Inc-Hat-Accessory/dp/B003JMCU5O (http://www.amazon.com/Forum-Novelties-Inc-Hat-Accessory/dp/B003JMCU5O)
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I love this description:
To outwit them you might declare a midlife crisis in which you would try to free yourself from the bonds of money, marriage and reason.
xxx
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Wish we all lived closer, I know what we would be doing over the Christmas Holidays if we did. What a laugh that would be. Seriously, and that's before we even opened up the box. ;D ;D
A magic 8 ball. For all those important- decisions making- reality bites- moments
Magic Ball O Magic Ball, can you tell me what time Booboo's shop closes. 5? Don't think so, I will try again. Magic Ball O Magic Ball.......
Ha - there is one review: 'as seasoned board game players (must have accumilated about 25 new sets by now) at christmas we didnt like this one, seemed like 20 year old ex shop stock, with dust on it?! just not very fun at all, got retired to the attic after 5 mins '
Is it just me finding some double meanings in that review Especially 'just not very fun at all'!
Bet it was from a guy in MLC, who bought it at the insistence of his LBS, and he just doesn't get it. Sounded like fun when he read the instructions, but then.... :o ::) ??? confusion set it.
Hmmm...maybe a new pair of running shoes. They tend to go through them rather quickly, what with all the running away from their problems.
Yes, always thought of my H as quite a Forrest Gump. Run H, run.....
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A magic 8 ball. For all those important- decisions making- reality bites- moments
Magic Ball O Magic Ball, can you tell me what time Booboo's shop closes. 5? Don't think so, I will try again. Magic Ball O Magic Ball.......
Well Booboo's H also needs a watch....
Some suggestions for mine - now he never actually did get the 1D t-shirt, he just dresses like one of them so thats something I can think about......
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Guess this h took all our christmas decorations tree and all to go share them with his OG (other girl she's 21) leaving his own kids with none! What a jerk!!!!!!!.
As for his christmas pressie even coal is too nice a gift for him >:(
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It appears we have many personified Grinch's this year..hmmmmm how to deal with them....
Make new decorations and don't even address the childish behavior..can you get a real tree wild cut or bought? Would that be something different in your house?
I'm sure all the sentimental ornaments will go over real well with a 21 year old. I can just hear him if he has any attachment to them explaining each one of them to her. WOW.
If she crawls into bed with him after that? There is something REALLY wrong with her besides the obvious. ::)
((((Hugs))))
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Hey in it that's just what I did with the help of my parents we bought new decorations for the kids and a new tree. I can imagine him seeing all the memories attached to our old decorations and our first ever tree I just hope they eat him up inside!
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EXACTLY! Christmas may not be the "same" just make it "different" :)
Different isn't so bad..I had a real problem with the word "new" the first year.
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:-* :-* his and hers Kidney Stones :-* :-*
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a skunk!
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A spine and a new set of b@lls. ;D
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By H will be given the gift of being ignored.
He hates that!!!!
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my wish for H would be.....a court order for child support ;D ;D
A huge mirror so he can see how ridiculous he looks, and a deposit book fornour account ;D ;D
I can see him now on Christmas morning with his expensive gift giving, and his face ::) as he opens his presents from OW, bought with the money he should be sending for child support.
sadly, we are so used to it now, we dont even react to any of it.
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a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Future.
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a skunk!
My H would rather some skunk and sell it on ::)
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Super Glue for zipper
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Not many gift ideas here for the female MLCers...
My W desperately needs a reality check and some truth serum. Since I can't buy that at a store then I guess I am left with asking Santa to please bring my W In It with a sack full of truth bricks.
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A Barbie Dream house, a miniature red Ferrari, a phony platinum Visa, and a Ken or Barbie doll to live out their fantasy life with.
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Here's what I want to give, though I know I probly shouldn't feed the Monster...
Wife has a special collection of Nutcrackers collected through childhood. She puts them on the mantle every year.
Well I found the perfect one for her to remember this year by. It's a Surfer Nutcracker holding a board. Just happens that surfing is her new boyfriends passion.
Maybe I'll just give it to D3 and D4. That way they can want to put their special first Nutcracker from Daddy on the Mantle every Christmas with Mommies childhood memories.
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Wondering what everyone thought about whether or not it is a good idea to purchase a Christmas Gift for an MLCer who has left the family home? What about purchasing a gift for a child to give to their MLCer (small child)?
Edit - Merged with similar thread. - Oldpilot
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Gabby,
I just went out today and decided to get H a gift- it's a sentimental thing that references a time when we were happier.
It's excerpts from the children's book "I like you" If you havent read it, DO! It is sooo appropriate for ANYONE in your life you care about. He hand I heard it for the first time at a friend's wedding, and he commented how much he liked it. So, I picked out the phrases that are perfect for what we are going through and I did a "subway art" type of thing on MS Word. I framed it and wrapped it.
My daughter made him something, too, and I think it is vital that they have as much of a relationship still, as possible. So, he will not be invited on Christmas, but we will do a gift exchange on the 23rd or the morning of the 24th.
ps- he wants to come on Christmas, but I think he needs to feel that deep loneliness during his journey= tough love
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My Christmas present paid off (I prayed about it a lot before I ordered it - it felt the right thing to do). H phoned me to thank me for it and apologised for not getting me anything as 'he wasn't sure if he should'. This is the first time he has phoned me since BD. He even asked how I was (really good). He sounded miserable and said he was 'doing alright'.
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(http://i865.photobucket.com/albums/ab218/hammerhead10photos/mlc%20xmas/mlcxmasRoomLargeWebview_zpscd984c50.jpg) (http://s865.photobucket.com/user/hammerhead10photos/media/mlc%20xmas/mlcxmasRoomLargeWebview_zpscd984c50.jpg.html)
ok. we have a swift kick to the groin above the mantel. Opposite wall: "Find Your Kid in this Class Picture"
Stocking holds one (1) fresh spine, with two (2) balls in the toe.
among the tree ornaments, you will find a bag of cat poop, a skunk*, surfer nutcracker, running shoe, coal, Mr. JD's Visa, mirror, and truth serum.
under the tree is a miner's lamp to navigate the tunnel, a nice bag of weed, and other things that should be fairly evident.
*oops my skunk disappeared. my photo program crashed 3 times during the process. sorry about that!
also, I meant to include some Axe Body Spray and some video games -
There may have to be some additions between now and Christmas morn!
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(http://i865.photobucket.com/albums/ab218/hammerhead10photos/mlc%20xmas/mlcxmasRoomLargeWebview_zpscd984c50.jpg) (http://s865.photobucket.com/user/hammerhead10photos/media/mlc%20xmas/mlcxmasRoomLargeWebview_zpscd984c50.jpg.html)
ok. we have a swift kick to the groin above the mantel. Opposite wall: "Find Your Kid in this Class Picture"
Stocking holds one (1) fresh spine, with two (2) balls in the toe.
among the tree ornaments, you will find a bag of cat poop, a skunk*, surfer nutcracker, running shoe, coal, Mr. JD's Visa, mirror, and truth serum.
The rest should be fairly evident.
*oops my skunk disappeared. my photo program crashed 3 times during the process. sorry about that!
Riddle, you legend! That is sòoooooooo good! ;D
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Thanks for the "cat poop' Riddle!! You are TOOOOOO much!!!
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Love it Riddle ;D ;D ;D
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No, nothing. Last year I received a small pity present. I still don't have his address and my last text just saying hi went unanswered. It had been a couple months NC. Wasn't bothered but definitely answered the question about a present.
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That's pretty awesome Riddle!
I can tell by reading this just how different my MLCer and my case is.
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BAHAHAHAHAHA!! Riddle!! That is awesome!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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for my w a rich, loving, caring, great with other men's children, sensitive, artistic, man of the highest character who is looking for a dysfunctional Divorced woman of 45 with 4 kids (2 under 7 yrs) to make all of her dreams come true. Did I say rich? ;D
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I will probably give the wife a coffee card for her favorite place and some bath salts/candles stuff like that.
I am guessing by her actions my w is already taking bath salts
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Last year H brought me some of my favourite perfume, I was flattered that he had remembered.
I didn't get him anything and I felt a little uncomfortable.
This year I have bought him a small gift. Just in case :-\
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Nope...not getting H anything. Last visit a few days ago lasted 30 minutes and it he was telling me he is dead inside. Barely got a Merry Christmas out of him while he was leaving...
So nope...no gift, no card, no text message with seasons greetings!
I just hope next year it will be much different.
SSG
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My wife is getting something round with a hole in the middle.........
TIRES. Hey it's what she wanted, LOL
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The thought of going to her party and facing all her best friends in my old home is making me ill.
In bailing. Sorry kids... :(
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Nope. Nothing here. I debated taking the kids out, and I even asked them if they wanted to get something for their mom. They weren't into it.
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Goofy singing Christmas card and gift cards to her favorite coffee shop. Token gifts. Useful gifts. Impersonal gifts.
Give nothing and I lose. Give too much and I lose.
So giving enough to say I thought about it.
Merry Christmas to all in this hard season.
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I took the kids to buy one gift for my W today. A hand made necklace in the shape of a Lotus flower with a crystal in the middle. Kids liked it the best.
I wasn't planning on getting her anything but decided that it was best if I did and made it more about the kids picking her something.
It likely won't matter in our situation. Who knows if she will even ever wear it.
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I have no advice, but just wanted to share my situation-can you say weird?? Been divorced long time and our last Christmas as a family, my ex and I were separated and he was not living in the home. Children wanted him there, so he came for awhile, but later stated he wasn't feeling well and left. We found out next day that he left to pick up OW at airport, so she could spend holidays with him!
So needless to say, he and I had not exchanged gifts since that day. However, for the past two years, he has gotten me a bottle of wine and dropped it off to me personally. I have not gotten him anything. This year, he got me a GPS for my car!!! SAid it was from my son[[who is mentally ill and has no money!]] What is up with that??? He still lives with original OW. I do not plan on getting him anything, since OW is in picture.
Hard to advise anyone in this situation. All I have to say, is that if children are young and want to get their parent something, perhaps you can help them with that.
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I've not bought him a Christmas present from me - the girls chose a gift from each of them. I did give him a card. He bought me a present though - he left it under the tree - I can tell by the shape it's a CD (he always buys me CDs every year as long as I can remember). :o
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(http://i865.photobucket.com/albums/ab218/hammerhead10photos/mlc%20xmas/mlcxmasRoomLargeWebview_zpscd984c50.jpg) (http://s865.photobucket.com/user/hammerhead10photos/media/mlc%20xmas/mlcxmasRoomLargeWebview_zpscd984c50.jpg.html)
ok. we have a swift kick to the groin above the mantel. Opposite wall: "Find Your Kid in this Class Picture"
Stocking holds one (1) fresh spine, with two (2) balls in the toe.
among the tree ornaments, you will find a bag of cat poop, surfer nutcracker, running shoe, coal, Mr. JD's Visa, mirror, and truth serum.
under the tree is a miner's lamp to navigate the tunnel, a nice bag of weed, and other things that should be fairly evident.
So????
How did all our little MLCers make out?
I gave my husband.....absolutely nothing. Sure hope he got it in time.
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I gave my XW a set with lavender lotion, a hairbrush and a couple other little small things that I "won" in a white elephant game at my work Christmas party so I have absolutely nothing for it. She apparently gushed over it to the kids even though she discovered that the gift bag said "Happy Birthday" on it. I'm gathering that it was a re-gift in the first place. LOL!!
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My stbxw gave me a camelback water pouch (wtf?) and a neck warmer. And framed a picture D3 and D4 drew which was cool.
I gave her a nice necklace that the kids picked out. They enjoyed her opening it immensely.
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Hi Everyone!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! I know I don't post much but gotta chime in (bells are a-ringing).
Riddle, you totally made my evening....THAT'S FRAME WORTHY! Hope all my LBS'ers share in the joyment of laughter tonight and try to remember what THIS day is really about... Bless you ALL....
Truly :)
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The picture is so fab, and just perfect :D
Zero contact from H, not even to his children. Used to this now, so nothing new. sad, sad man.
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Same here....not a word..no card...nothing.
On an up-note, someone saw this on OW FB page (see below) and it made me happy. I can't see it as she blocked me.
Guess her behavior (and his) has made them lose respect among their peers...
Oh well, too bad, so sad.
Wishing all a stupendous 2014, full of hope and good news!
SSG
Well shoot, cannot seem to find a way to insert the image :-\
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same here no contact not a happy christmas or anything , although i wouldnt have replied anyway
hugs x
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I decided to send my H a nice (but not expensive) mug that I knew he would appreciate (long story, he's very specific about what mugs are suitable). Anyway I was shocked when he phoned to thank me, sounding more like himself than anytime since BD, albeit a rather sad and miserable version of himself. First time he's phoned since BD too. He apologised for not getting me a present as he 'wasn't sure I'd want him to, so he wasn't sure if he should' ??? He chatted for a bit until there was a pause when I said I had to go. I then got a Christmas card a few days later apologising again for the lack of gift and signed 'lots of love' :o Since then he's been responding to all my contact (which has been very casual) extremely promptly. I'm glad I sent the gift :) But I'm rather confused now...