Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: Adnyl on February 20, 2014, 11:49:44 AM
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How long did it take until your MLCer asked to come home?
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Mine has been gone since October 2010. Married the ow.
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Mine started asking three months after he left......MLC takes much longer than that....he had many back and forths and failed returns. He is home now, four years to the month after BD! I sincerely believe that many of the tactics I tried prolonged the time between when he WOULD have come home and when he DID come home.
Please don't let these timelines crush you....high school takes four years! MLCers come home very broken people....you and they need this time to grow and strengthen...they come home to a safe harbor and to a spouse willing to forgive and love unconditionally and only after they have figured out a few things by trial and error...emphasis on ERROR, LOL!!
Standing is fluid...like childbirth....it changes as you move along. ;)
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Mine has been gone exactly two and a half years and shows no sign of remorse, is still seeing the OW, and barely sees his daughter 2-3 times a month. I have gone dark and am much happier. I pray for God to soften his heart every day, but I am also moving forward with my life and will be filing for divorce as soon as my daughter turns 18 in 2 months. I am doing this mainly to protect my financial situation, the last thing I need is to be paying him spousal support, no way!
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Just for statistics, I would like to know how many divorced the LBS, then returned?
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Just for statistics, I would like to know how many divorced the LBS, then returned?
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I don't believe anyone could ever answer this..there are no stats to my knowledge..
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Its said its just a piece of paper, but really are there any reconciliations after divorce.
The only one I can think of is In It, and that didn't last.
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My father tried to come back after divorce. 2 to 3 years after bd and numerous affairs.
He was rejected.
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I know of a man who left his wife and children for more than 20 years. Then came home. The wife was not remarried and took him back.
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I sincerely believe that many of the tactics I tried prolonged the time between when he WOULD have come home and when he DID come home.
Hi LG!
Can you tell us what these tactics were that only prolonged things?
Thanks to you,
UKS
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I sincerely believe that many of the tactics I tried prolonged the time between when he WOULD have come home and when he DID come home.
Hi LG!
Can you tell us what these tactics were that only prolonged things?
Thanks to you,
UKS
I also am very interested in what tactics prolonged the return.
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I guess the tactics that may prolong a MLC may differ from MLCer to MLCer. MLC is very similar but not all MLCers are alike.
Some take far more than others to return. I believe most MLCers want to return home. What many times happens is that when they are ready to do it the LBS has moved on.
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I guess the tactics that may prolong a MLC may differ from MLCer to MLCer. MLC is very similar but not all MLCers are alike.
Some take far more than others to return. I believe most MLCers want to return home. What many times happens is that when they are ready to do it the LBS has moved on.
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Yes, mine has been gone two and a half years and shows no signs of remourse or wanting to come home..spends a tad bit more time with his daughter, for which even though it is often with the alienator, I am still thankful, because a year ago he spent almost no time with her...
Blessings,
1Cor 13
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Two and a half years is a long time but not that much time in MLC world.
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3 years this March, and she has never look back, our divorce was final in Sept after the required waiting period of 30 days after the signing. I have nothing to do with her, I am NC with her, and it is good for me.
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Starrett:
To true my Brother "she has never looked back", 3+ years divorced, MLC coming up on 7 years, No regrets, no remorse (none to my face anyways) no apologies, only attempts at cake eating.
I think a female MLC'r that seeks a reconciliation is even rarer than a male LBS who will take her back.
Mac
P.S. Let the pummeling begin
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BD was late Oct. She came back on Jan. 27th Has a rental house in place and leaving next week. She did cake eat between these months. She just came home 2 early. I had a hard time emotionally with her back in the house, but I do hope there are more attempts.