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Author Topic: MLC Monster When do they come home?

A
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MLC Monster When do they come home?
OP: February 20, 2014, 11:49:44 AM
How long did it take until your MLCer asked to come home?
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b
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Re: When do they come home?
#1: February 20, 2014, 12:33:55 PM
Mine has been gone since October 2010. Married the ow.
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Hugs and Blessings,
Brokenhearted
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Re: When do they come home?
#2: February 20, 2014, 12:52:42 PM
Mine started asking three months after he left......MLC takes much longer than that....he had many back and forths and failed returns. He is home now, four years to the month after BD! I sincerely believe that many of the tactics I tried prolonged the time between when he WOULD have come home and when he DID come home.

Please don't let these timelines crush you....high school takes four years! MLCers come home very broken people....you and they need this time to grow and strengthen...they come home to a safe harbor and to a spouse willing to forgive and love unconditionally and only after they have figured out a few things by trial and error...emphasis on ERROR, LOL!!

Standing is fluid...like childbirth....it changes as you move along. ;)

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"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."

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The softest of stuff in the world penetrates quickly the hardest insubstantial. It enters where no room is...

Lao Tsu
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Re: When do they come home?
#3: February 20, 2014, 12:58:15 PM
Mine has been gone exactly two and a half years and shows no sign of remorse, is still seeing the OW, and barely sees his daughter 2-3 times a month. I have gone dark and am much happier. I pray for God to soften his heart every day, but I am also moving forward with my life and will be filing for divorce as soon as my daughter turns 18 in 2  months. I am doing this mainly to protect my financial situation, the last thing I need is to be paying him spousal support, no way!
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T
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Re: When do they come home?
#4: February 21, 2014, 03:42:47 PM
Just for statistics, I would like to know how many divorced the LBS, then returned?
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To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.           Oscar Wilde


"The heights by great men reached and kept, were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night."

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Re: When do they come home?
#5: February 21, 2014, 10:21:33 PM
Quote from: Tsunami on February 21, 2014, 03:42:47 PM
Just for statistics, I would like to know how many divorced the LBS, then returned?

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I don't believe anyone could ever answer this..there are no stats to my knowledge..
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s
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Re: When do they come home?
#6: February 22, 2014, 06:54:03 AM
Its said its just a piece of paper, but really are there any reconciliations after divorce.

The only one I can think of is In It, and that didn't last.
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"we need to learn to love our self enough to let that person go so we can create a better more compassionate state of being for our self and others" - HS member moment
B
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Re: When do they come home?
#7: February 22, 2014, 07:25:54 AM
My father tried to come  back after divorce. 2 to 3 years after bd and  numerous affairs.
He was rejected.
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'Nothing worth having comes easy'
BD oct 1st 2012. 2 teens- 2 Dogs. Together 16 years, not married. No OW in sight. Foo issues a go-go.
a
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Re: When do they come home?
#8: February 22, 2014, 08:34:33 AM
I know of a man who left his wife and children for more than 20 years.  Then came home.  The wife was not remarried and took him back.
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Re: When do they come home?
#9: February 22, 2014, 09:48:04 AM
Quote from: LettingGo on February 20, 2014, 12:52:42 PM
I sincerely believe that many of the tactics I tried prolonged the time between when he WOULD have come home and when he DID come home.


Hi LG!

Can you tell us what these tactics were that only prolonged things?

Thanks to you,

UKS
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BD June 2011
Affair discovered; three moves out and three attempts at return during 2012, culminating in "I'm not coming back" statement. Then DIY separation agreement - Feb 14 - which I wouldn't sign. He moved in with OW in 10/14 and I heard little more. I instigated D in 2016.  He's still living in rental with OW and her D but the cracks are starting to appear.
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