Midlife Crisis: Support for Left Behind Spouses
Archives => Archived Topics => Topic started by: in it on March 31, 2014, 05:41:18 AM
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Did I win the prize for the most ridiculous MLC statement ever made? 8) I am so glad others find the hilarity in the comment. How I kept from laughing at him is beyond me except the entire conversation was completely bizarre.
Well it's got my VOTE!! I can't hardly BREATHE I'm LAUGHING SO HARD!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
Oh!! This is just classic! Thank goodness we can all still laugh ;D ;D ;D! I don't think it would be possible to find a bigger d!ck than our current Hs and the way they are behaving!
Ok NOW here's a challenge!!!..I'm pretty sure the ex wouldn't measure up as being a threat to the "below the belt" situation ....But he's a 350 pound 6'4" d!ck with feet..anybody got one bigger than that?
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Omg in it..that I'd freaking HILLARIOUS!! N the Pen!$ one..is CLASSIC!! ;D ;D. You all are great and yea it sucks to hear this stuff n go through this however..were looking back on some n laughing. That's the best part I think. ;)
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Good that we can still have a sense of humor about it. As is said a lot on here...you really can't make this $hit up! ;D
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The Pen!$ one is a new one. :o :o :o And speaking of Pen!$es, my guy recently asked me to go shopping for a device to provide him with more GIRTH. I kid you not! I told him I never had an issue with his girth...and he always said I was so tight. I can only assume the OW is a little...ummmm...roomy??
We had this discussion during a time when he told me he was eating CELERY to aid his sex drive. At the time, I thought maybe it was working too well, as everything he talked about got spun around to something sex related. The sex talk quit rather abruptly a while back so I can only assume that he forgot to buy more celery. ::)
What will they think up next?
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Early on in this I looked up magnesium and zinc deficiency in depression and sex life due to effects on hormones.
He said it's fine. He just are some peanuts. I said did it give you a boner!
It's hard not to joke with them. They have no sense of humour at the mo though.
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So I will never be able to look at celery quite the same way. Wish I had known about that when H was struggling with ED! :o
Almost can't believe he asked you to get him a sex aid...except this is MLC and nothing is really all that surprising.
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Oh, he asked! It was via text so I was free to giggle all I wanted as I typed that he didn't need more girth with ME so we didn't need to shop for that. Pretty sure at the time, he was planning to try it out with me, as he kept insisting that I would like it if he was bigger. I can only assume that OW doesn't find him to be big enough so I made a big point of saying that his size was always perfect for ME. I can't resist when it comes to stuff like that. A few weeks before that, he asked if I would try having him & a toy at the same time. All I can think is she must be cavernous in there. The toy requests got pretty annoying though, so I finally told him I never wanted to be asked about toys again because I don't want or NEED them if I am with him and his constantly bringing it up was like he was telling me all about their sex life. Haven't heard about them since!
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Early on in this I looked up magnesium and zinc deficiency in depression and sex life due to effects on hormones.
He said it's fine. He just are some peanuts. I said did it give you a boner!
It's hard not to joke with them. They have no sense of humour at the mo though.
I have been taking magnesium glycinate at night & it is AMAZING! I sleep better than I have in years! It helps with stress & headaches too.
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"Cavernous" made me laugh so hard for some reason. I know this is MLC and nothing is too crazy but it always amazes me how they want to talk about sex with us and be complimented when they are clearly either with someone else or looking.
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"Cavernous": LOVE IT!
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"Cavernous" made me laugh so hard for some reason. I know this is MLC and nothing is too crazy but it always amazes me how they want to talk about sex with us and be complimented when they are clearly either with someone else or looking.
He had me do some updates on his iPad and so I was snooping in his Safari favorites and found that he had saved a link to a website for exercises on how to make it LONGER too. So, with the need for girth AND length, "cavernous" is all I can think when it comes to OW. ;D
He also tells me repeatedly that I give better blow jobs than she does...and when I asked what he was gonna do since he'd no longer be getting the good ones, he told me I'd go down a few notches on the totem pole. ::)
So, yes, it is amazing what they feel they can tell you while with someone else. Guess that's what he thinks "friends" are for! ::)
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It is crazy how the script is so predictable:
ILYBINILY
Sorry I ruined your life.
I know I am ripping your heart out, but I can't help it.
This has nothing to do with another woman, there is not even anyone I am interested in (epic lie).
You just need to let it go and move on (excuse me but I just found out about your ow it will take a few minutes to digest).
I am almost relieved now that I have told you. Really great for you... (that he was leaving-denying OW during BD).
Find someone else and move on.
God doesn't like ugly (when I threatened to sue his ow for alienation of affection).
God bless you for what you have done to me (because I wouldn't sign closing papers on a house i will never live in).
God said turn the other cheek, this is me turning my cheek. Do whatever you want to me and I will take it. (Same text about not signing closing papers on our new home)
I mean you just can't make this $hit up!
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"Cavernous" made me laugh so hard for some reason. I know this is MLC and nothing is too crazy but it always amazes me how they want to talk about sex with us and be complimented when they are clearly either with someone else or looking.
He had me do some updates on his iPad and so I was snooping in his Safari favorites and found that he had saved a link to a website for exercises on how to make it LONGER too. So, with the need for girth AND length, "cavernous" is all I can think when it comes to OW. ;D
He also tells me repeatedly that I give better blow jobs than she does...and when I asked what he was gonna do since he'd no longer be getting the good ones, he told me I'd go down a few notches on the totem pole. ::)
So, yes, it is amazing what they feel they can tell you while with someone else. Guess that's what he thinks "friends" are for! ::)
DA, I almost spit all over my keyboard! Can I please have that website so I can ensure that any future boyfriends do not meet H's requirements of being smaller than him? :o
I got similar comments regarding sex. I am convinced mine did it to hurt me and try to drive me away because he felt so guilty/needed to have something else to wallow about. When we were in the cake-eating period, he would say things like "you're so bony, but I can get used to it". Geeze, first you're b****ing that I'm too fat and then that I'm too thin. Make up your mind!
Good to know yours isn't the only one entitled to BJs. Out of curiosity, what would his reaction be if you demanded he reciprocate?
It is crazy how the script is so predictable:
ILYBINILY
Sorry I ruined your life.
I know I am ripping your heart out, but I can't help it.
This has nothing to do with another woman, there is not even anyone I am interested in (epic lie).
You just need to let it go and move on (excuse me but I just found out about your wh*re it will take a few minutes to digest).
I am almost relieved now that I have told you. Really great for you... (that he was leaving-denying OW during BD).
Find someone else and move on.
God doesn't like ugly (when I threatened to sue his wh*re for alienation of affection).
God bless you for what you have done to me (because I wouldn't sign closing papers on a house i will never live in).
God said turn the other cheek, this is me turning my cheek. Do whatever you want to me and I will take it. (Same text about not signing closing papers on our new home)
I mean you just can't make this $hit up!
I have something similar to everything on your list. What I finally find funny is how they just keep changing their mind when we don't cooperate. ;D
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I wish I knew what the website was, as I'm sure it would be good for a big chuckle, but I was in a hurry to get done so he wouldn't find out I saw it.
Mine has no complaints about ME in the sex department, at least none that I am aware of. He'd be here in a heartbeat if I was so inclined to send him a naughty text or two. I wouldn't have to demand a thing...but, he's decided we should be friends with benefits so he would think he's doing me some kind of favor if I did ask, so I'd never ask. ::)
I'll admit to allowing the occasional cake-eating just to remind him how good he had it, but it has to be his idea. ;D I'm bad...I know...but he's damn good. ;)
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I wish I could let h do some cake-eating but that's just what he wants. H ow is thousands of miles away. So that's out, h tried once since he came back from ow's country in March. I just politely moved away from his arm and kept on walking. Since that day h has been a different person. Ooops sorry we are " just roommates" wanted to say it but didn't, needless to say h got the message. I just wish h would talk to me about any thing other than work.
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Be careful what you wish for...mine spent the duration of a 3 hr road trip looking for zombie & cartoon character porn to show me & when he wasn't looking at that, he was looking up coldest & hottest places on Earth to add to his beloved iPhone. Then he spent the rest of the day keeping me informed of the weather in said places. When he got bored with that, he thought he should drive and I could give him "road head"....ya, cuz I got SO turned on by zombie porn & the weather report?? ??? ::) :o I'd have given anything for a conversation about his work that day.
And yes, you read that right...zombie porn. I am SO not making this up! He's a special brand of crazy, my MLCer is. Luckily for him, I realize that besides his MLC, he's overdosed on Adderall, which adds to the crazy.
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Oh no, I really never thought about how that sounded. I really should watch what I wish for. Well my h does avatar porn. he actually sat in the living room and thought I couldn't see what he was doing. H was doing all the things he could never do in real( whatever that is in MLC) life. It is quite pitiful, but if thats what he wants so be it. This i swhy h had to meet someone in a chat room. I know h is shy and always thought it was kind of cute. I don't find anything about h cute anymore....LOL
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OW sends mine anime porn. Made my skin crawl. He told be before BD and OW that he could watch porn all day. Yet another part of the script. I'm now wondering what it is with at least some of them that they get fixated on sex/porn. What's happening in their head besides running? I can't help but wonder if its another type of control issue since so much porn is male-focused.
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Talking about porn..S17 said when he was on Ow's phone there was tons of porn on it :o. When I was sleeping with H while he was with Ow when he 1st left he said he liked having the lights on..that was new n complained I never limed having them on.
Well excuse me, when H cheated so much your self conscious of your body and feel bad about yourself why have the lights on?!?!
Anyway it seemed to be Ow that was into the porn..unless both of them were watching it
Who knows.
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I think mine just likes to see big boobs. That's pretty much all the zombie porn was...zombies in fishnets with big boobs. ::) All I could think was that this is a very disturbed man....and I really had to wonder what the OW really thinks of all that. If I were 6mo into a new R with someone who showed me that one day, I think I would be a little concerned. Then again, she's not all there either so maybe she likes it. Who knows?
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I have a few theories about why this whole sex thing happens.
It may be as simple though as the fact that he has always liked that but would never dare reveal it to someone he was committed to Incase you freaked out. I mean its a bit like finding out he has been trying on your best underwear while you were out. Likelihood is your not going to say honey that looks great on you !
I also think it's to do with the sexual exploration thing just the same as when the teenagers do it. My h on a couple of occasions really creeped me out with trying to come on to me in a really schoolboy way. It was like getting hit on by a kid. I did that ewwwwwwww face and walked away fast.
I also came home to him having tied an elastic band round his emmm... Manhood to make it look bigger. Again wth!!!!
I would never bring this stuff back up to him in a million years it makes my face go red on his behalf.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Sd
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Well in my case there wasn't much we couldn't talk about or try sexually as we have and always had a very great sex life. Were not "freaks" per sue but we have done our fair share ofhandcuffs n blindfolds. Lol. Of course some of that went downhill as he cheated n I became more selfconsious of myself and my body.
Maybe they're just trying us on for size..like to see if we liked what Ow may like or the "new" stuff he is learning that he likes?? Funny thing, these Mlcers heads.
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My H is very much in pursuit of his sexual fantasy. I have always known what he liked to look at but now he is taking it to the next level - he wants to be part of that 'scene'. He never did before because he didn't want anyone to know about the 'things' that he liked because they wouldn't understand. We would experiment earlier in our relationship, then it moved to him watching porn (huge amounts of porn), now I haven't seen him watch porn in months but he is trying to become active in that 'lifestyle' - not sure what would be the next step in this progression. I really don't think he will be happy by being active in this 'lifestyle' - I guess that is just something he is going to have to figure out on his own. I think for my H MLC is in part about growing up sexually. Or maybe the sexual part of MLC is just a big distraction for them - I think H was looking at porn as an escape.
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I guess my H was using affairs as an escape.. :-\ he has cheated n had affairs since we have been together, n n off of course for almost 20 yrs.
I think my H has been looking for a "mother figure" as he has always liked older women and then married a younger one :o :o. He has chosen women that have money or are "stronger" emotionally than him like more power I suppose. As H told me I "didn't fight hard enough for him". I think that has something to do with when he was being taken away by the cops n his mom was being held by his dad n just let him leave.
Omg...I never put them 2 together. This One is like his "foster mom" n I'm " his mom". U let H go n Ow fought to keep him. Well then.
Ok sorry for that..it just came out n came to me. Hijack alert..lol. sorry
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I know that mine always liked comic books with girls that had big boobs. I have his whole collection of them in my closet & I even bought him some of the ones he was missing so he could complete his collection. The zombie stuff is a little out there, but I wasn't the least bit surprised when he showed it to me. Nothing surprises me now though.
I totally hear ya on the schoolboy fantasy/exploration bit. He even asked if we could have a quickie in the backseat in a parking lot one day. A few years ago, I mentioned it would be fun to go "park" on a gravel road just for the fun of it & he told me we were too old for that, but NOW it's ok? What's funny is that I told him I'd think about it and he was all excited that I didn't say no...and then he never brought it up again. Had I said no, he'd have pestered me all day about it.
I also agree they want to try out the new stuff they are learning with OW and see if we like it too. Mine has always been that way though. He has a whole video collection and thought we could watch & do stuff, but that just doesn't do it for me. I told him way back that I'm no porn star & I want romance, not just crazy sex. I think OW gives him the crazy sex he always wanted. To each their own I guess. That will get boring to him too, as she will eventually run out of things to show him and he's not one to come up with this stuff on his own.
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Omg...I never put them 2 together. This One is like his "foster mom" n I'm " his mom". U let H go n Ow fought to keep him. Well then.
I love it when this happens :) It happens quite a bit to me - I am just typing along getting my thoughts out and BAM I put 2 and 2 together and I understand even more.
This is one of the things that I love about this forum!
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I love it when this happens :) It happens quite a bit to me - I am just typing along getting my thoughts out and BAM I put 2 and 2 together and I understand even more.
This is one of the things that I love about this forum!
That happened to me on Madmax's thread earlier, and just reading this one I got another answer.
Last spring, H shaved his lower legs. It was bizarre since he's a fairly hairy guy, and I asked him why he did that. He claimed all the hair was getting rubbed off from his trousers. Really, H? Weird that such a thing never happened before...
I also think it's to do with the sexual exploration thing just the same as when the teenagers do it.
Yeah, it just somehow makes sense all of a sudden.
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It is nice..but now what do I do with it?? I mean what do we do with this info we can't tell them cause there off the wall anyway. Guess we just sit with it. Thanks again S4A..n sorry to take ur thread over. Gonna try n post it on mine lol
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Yeah, I think all the sex stuff is just a last hurrah for them-kind of like their bucket list and they need to prove their virility. Even as my husband has been so adamant about finding true love(in a bar or on Ok Cupid ::)) he said once early on that he was Richie Cunningham and he had always wanted to be Fonzie.
I'm going to jump on the True Confessions bandwagon as I have been puzzled by something he said a few times and wondered if anyone had insight. A couple times after BD he made the comment that since I was so ready and willing, maybe he should have a few friends over. I was shocked by the disrespect obviously but also b/c he has always had a weird thing about his friends. When we dated he was telling me that he never told his friends anything sexual about girlfriends b/c he didn't want them to want his girlfriend. Even now as he doesn't he want me, he has said to PLEASE not hook up with his friends(Wow H, how good are your friends that you would worry about them hooking up with your wife?!) So I found it bizarre that he would say that. I used to wonder if he had a sex addiction or something, asked about it on here early on.
Sorry S4A!
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I was just thinking about this again and it hit me...do you suppose they feel the need for all the sexual exploring because they're worried it may not work for much longer? Like they gotta try out all those fantasies before it's too late?
Mine is 39 & has always said he hit his peak at 20, but that was about when his son was born & he had to start being responsible. I can't imagine him being better at 20 than he has been in his late 30's.
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Something in that DA.
From peak male time onwards the testosterone is reducing so I believe, so maybe they do feel like there is a rush on. Also maybe experimenting with who they are??
Good news for us is that if women peak in the 40's and men in the 20's does that then mean that we can have 2x20+ year olds to make up for it. :-) ( as long as you don't want conversation with them of course)
I am sure that there are a lot of ow's out there doing some pretty uncomfortable things in order to keep the prize.
This is the one and only thing my h never made a derogatory comment about this whole 5 years. Boy he was a lucky guy back then hee hee.
Sd
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I think it has to do with all the stress of this whole mess that "it" don't work right so there trying to find something to help so to speak. I know when H 1st left he was ok in that dept then after a lil while he hot to where "it" wouldn't perform so he would do more oral than anything.
I think there just list in all aspects n trying their damndest to figure who they are out and its leaving a train wreck behind them.
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I agree, H2H. Mine suffers ED (or what I prefer to call limp d*** syndrome) but there is nothing physically wrong with him. His "softness" is all in his head. ;D
Mine became incredibly selfish sexually to the point that he insisted I was frigid. We did have some intimacy issues, but I certainly wasn't frigid. That's one of the reasons I decided cake eating was okay for awhile...he needed to experience the "new" (and much thinner) me in all her "glory" until it became too painful for me.
I know this man and I know he remembers what happened between us, especially one night when we were visiting D21 and staying in her apartment. I saw the love in his eyes, and it haunts me still. But it was so powerful that I don't see me how he can ever forget it.so I hold on to that little piece hoping that one day I will see it again. And if I don't, I know that at least for awhile he still loved and cherished me.
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Yea, I know that loving look and it made my heart melt. It seems so long ago now..maybe H will remember it too someday. :-\ We can only hope and like you say hold that moment and believe there will be more to come.
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LOL at the OW needing to keep the prize...have to totally agree there. More power to her if she enjoys all the weird stuff. I'm not too worried about all that. I know a few tricks he will miss eventually. ;D Not that I want him to come back just for that, but he's a man...just sayin'. ;) I guess that's what makes me allow the occasional cake eating. I want him to remember what he likes and where he can get more of that. Wouldn't want to fall a notch or two on the totem pole. ::)
And I agree on that loving look. It's in there once in a while. I don't think I will see it for a while again, but I can just hope it pops out again before I forget the last one.
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I have gotten the loving look, too-even though he is not in love with me and never was. He usually runs for a while after that look.
I think some cake-eating is good for the reasons you all said. And hey, I really, really like cake.
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I wish I could find the website back that I had read once. This lady had gotten her man back after several years of MLC and she allowed cake eating the whole time he was with the OW. Not for the faint of heart, but I DO like cake a lot.
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I wish I could find the website back that I had read once. This lady had gotten her man back after several years of MLC and she allowed cake eating the whole time he was with the OW. Not for the faint of heart, but I DO like cake a lot.
All well and fine if you can handle it. AND if you take precautions to avoid the rampant STD's out there. The rise in STD's among our respective age groups is alarming. And the ow they pick are probably not the safest in this regard either......its not worth your life.
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You know..I like "cake" as much as the next woman. However I have shared my H way to many times over the years and in the begining after BD and have finally decided IF H wants to be MY H he will be mine n MINE ALONE.
I'm done sharing my H and as long as H is with Ow..well he gets none of the "marital goods" until H wants n acts like my H. I have noticed I don't even think about sex much in any shapeor form anymore..iI guess I'm not having it so why think about it?
It also hurt to much to watch him walk out after every "escapade" we had knowing he was going to Ow trying not yo get caught with me..the WIFE. To much pain for me. I give kutos who can do it though..I'm just not one. N yes..please please protect yourselves!!
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It also hurt to much to watch him walk out after every "escapade" we had knowing he was going to Ow trying not yo get caught with me..the WIFE
I agree. I always felt that perhaps I was the "tune up" for the ow. Yuk! If he wants marital benefits, he needs to come back and be my H.
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The fact is looking at the ages of most of the ladies that are here is this: we are in our sexual prime age wise and our many of our men are experiencing life altering changes that scare the crap out of them. I think back to when I was in my early 30's and he was worrying me to death b/c he wasn't getting it enough & think WOW what a difference a few years makes. I am not saying my H couldn't handle things, but the OW definitely isn't getting him in his prime ;D
I don't say that to be mean, I am just stating fact. I was quite happy when the OW's hubby told me that mine "couldn't get it up" the 1st time with her. I thought "really, b/c he has never had that problem with his wife"....guilty much. The next time my H wanted to tell me what a nice lady she was I said "nice? let me tell you what she told her husband about your performance". Of course he said "he will say anything to get her back", but the problem is he didn't deny it. I told him that HE knew whether it was true or not, and a nice woman doesn't tell someone something like that. A nice woman also doesn't go back and forth and have sex with her husband and someone else's. Now I just don't say a word about her, he will figure it out. He may already have (she supposedly is trying to get back with her H), but I will be the last person he admits that to.
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I was just thinking about this again and it hit me...do you suppose they feel the need for all the sexual exploring because they're worried it may not work for much longer? Like they gotta try out all those fantasies before it's too late?
YES. This is exactly what H's dad has told me about what H is doing - H's dad did the same thing. H has even said that he doesn't want to look back and regret not doing some of the things that he wants. However, he is probably going to regret what he is doing more now than he would have regretted not trying his 'fantasy' :o
My H saw his dad do some of the things that H is doing - early in our relationship H had said that he didn't want to end up like his dad but that is the path that he is following. I really hope that he has a moment of clarity and can see the connection, it may wake him up.
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My H's dad went through a seven year depression and breakdown early in our relationship.
We lived miles away but I remember him being threatened with sexual harassment and quitting a job before the tribunal.
SIL now says that he wasn't as innocent as we thought. Looks like OW going mad and getting revenge now.
After his depression recovered. StepMIL ran off to Oz with man from the web. Turns out she had sex toys etc. broke up his family and hers.
She was a bank manager from a catholic family.
Mental
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It also hurt to much to watch him walk out after every "escapade" we had knowing he was going to Ow trying not yo get caught with me..the WIFE
I agree. I always felt that perhaps I was the "tune up" for the ow. Yuk! If he wants marital benefits, he needs to come back and be my H.
I guess that thought has crossed my mind so I've had to make rules...and if he pushes them too far, I add new rules. He doesn't just get to show up for a couple hours, have his merry way, and be out the door. He has to be here for a couple days and do the things we always liked to do together, like go antiquing or whatever, share meals or take me out. He has to put some effort into gaining my attention, not just think he can show up and I'll be waiting for him in something slinky.
I think it all depends on how it was between the two of you. My ex-husband also left due to MLC, but I never realized it at the time...there was NO WAY he would've got cake, even if he'd have come looking for it. He just wasn't that good. I feel sorry for his 20-something new wife.
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My H is that good..D20 laughs that H has all these women after him for what he has in his pants..if the daughter is saying that then she also sees that H isn't very very what's the word..faithful, loyal, bla bla bla I guess. Shows that D20 must not really tji.k highly of H besides us wanting him for his "manhood" which don't say much for H.
At least I don't think so anyway. I did let H cake eat for months..then stopped cause it hurt tomuch n iI was scared of getting something. I have since been tested even after H came home then left I got tested..scared me.
DA, so your ex is remarried..is he still in Mlc?
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I think my exH is possibly still in MLC, but he's aware that he had one so maybe he's done. He still dresses like he's 25, but that may be his wife's doing, as she's still in her 20's. He's 46. Here's a little timeline:
2004 his mom was in the hosp 6mo & then she died 9/04
Jan 2005 BD not in love anymore
Spring 2005 1st OW
Fall 2005 2nd OW who is now current wife -I filed for D
Nov 2006 D is final
May 2007 ex marries OW#2 who had not yet turned 21.
2009 he quits his corporate job and becomes a bar manager
2011 he has an affair with a bar customer...until her husband found out...not sure why he felt the need to call and tell me that little tale
2013 quits his bar job to go back to a corporate job & decides to go back to school to get a degree in entrepreneurship ::)
He asked one day if I was still with the same guy and I made the mistake of mentioning that he's in MLC and my ex H says "oh, I had one of them once." He claimed it was over when D11 asked him why he always had different colored hair. ;D He said he decided then that it was stupid & quit dying it. I still get a lot of passive agressive things from him and he was never that way when we were married so I can only assume he's still working things out OR his little wife tells him what to say. He never liked conflict before. I would say that he's an edgier person than before MLC, has a lot of contempt in his voice when he talks to me. I am fairly certain he has no love for me whatsoever anymore and I feel the same about him.
We talked about it once after that and he said I needed to speak up and tell my guy what I wanted if I wanted to get him back...that I need to fight for him so he knows I still want him around. I asked if he would've came back if I had done that with him and he said he didn't know because I let him walk away and I never looked back. So...I guess you could say my allowing cake eating with this one is the only way I know that I can fight for him.
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DA, "fighting for him" yep..I heard them words only my H said "I didn't fight hard enough for him" I said why fight for someone that don't wanna be here? I mean why seriously?!? I'm tired of fighting to keep my marriage from Women..he has had multipule affairs and I'm done trying to keep us together
I'm standing at the moment as I do love my H, however he needs to wake up n realize he has work to do in our marriage too cause I'm not doin it all myself.
You definatly had a lot going on that's for sure. H has only been with this 1 Ow since he left. I will look you up cause we stole someones thread I do believe ;). Sorry for the hijack!! :)
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I'm wondering if "fight for him" means something else to them? I would take it to mean "speak up" but I know other stuff with guys means something entirely different than you think. Like sitting on the couch, not saying anything or whistling when I walk by does not mean he's mad, it just means he's chillin' out watching tv & didn't know I walked by. I misinterpreted that several times.
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Been following this for a while and almost hesitant to even post in here; some of you ladies are a trip and I think made me blush once or twice....
Good news for us is that if women peak in the 40's and men in the 20's does that then mean that we can have 2x20+ year olds to make up for it. :-) ( as long as you don't want conversation with them of course)
Where the hell does this come from? We have had "guy" talks around here between several of my friends and all of us agree we are much more.....talented & potent.....now than in our 20's...or even 30's! I can't speak for all the guys here but i know me personally, the 20's me doesn't even compare to how I am now in this department so every time I see the "men peak in the 20's" statement I have to call BS!
I have gotten the loving look, too-even though he she is not in love with me and never was. He usually runs for a while after that look.
I think some cake-eating is good for the reasons you all said. And hey, I really, really like cake.
Same here on this side of the fence! Just gotta be careful how much cake you let them have!
Good to know yours isn't the only one entitled to BJs. Out of curiosity, what would his reaction be if you demanded he reciprocate?
If a man won't reciprocate in this area then he shouldn't be getting a BJ anyway! Damn ladies........make them take care of you first! ::)
I'm wondering if "fight for him" means something else to them? I would take it to mean "speak up" but I know other stuff with guys means something entirely different than you think. Like sitting on the couch, not saying anything or whistling when I walk by does not mean he's mad, it just means he's chillin' out watching tv & didn't know I walked by. I misinterpreted that several times.
Being a man, if I made that statement it would also mean "stand up to me"; "don't put up with my bull$h!te"! But that's just me and I am not in MLC (at least that I know of)!
OBO
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OBO, love it..made you blush lol ::). Its good to know some of them things especially the part "stand up to me" part. Its hard to stand IP to someone when he is being an a$$ though n you can't even talk to him cause Ow has him on a leash.
Crazy..just crazy. Thanks for the input n views..I feel the same about the if he isn't returning the favor he isn't getting his either..lol.
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OBO, you gave me the first real smile of my day. Thank you. :)
As for returning the favor, since I made that comment, let me just say that mine has strong feelings of entitlement regarding BJs. Never said he actually received them. After the night his Monster insisted he hadn't received one for 3 years, I snapped that it was the same for me and then made a rotten comment that this was all about his Pen!$. Even though I know its not all about that, for mine, a great portion of it seems to be.
All this conversation is making me contemplate when he told me he didn't like feeling like a "stud service" to me when I allowed cake eating. I never felt that way. Kind of makes me wonder why he said that, what was really going on in his brain, and if OW somehow gave him that feeling. Intellectual curoiusity. Anyone else have something similar?
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OBO, good for you to chime in. It is interesting to hear the guy perspective. I think this is a good discussion, as so much of MLC seems to revolve around money and sex!
Medusa, i have not gotten the stud service thing but we definitely had the BJ discussions. H was always happy to reciprocate but our problem, I think, was that I could be more giving in the bedroom if he could have been more giving out of the bedroom. I tried to explain this to him but as you know, it is all about him. Or her, depending on who you are. But sexual history was rewritten for his sense of entitlement for sure.
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LOL OBO...thanks for the man's perspective. Sorry if we made you blush! ;D
I do have to say I would only give a BJ if *I* wanted to...and they would stop if I didn't get something out of it in return. He hasn't had one for a while, but he mentions it every single time he is here. ::) I just smile...can't give in every time, just often enough make him want more.
Medusa...haven't had that particular phrase with mine as he knows if he complained, the cake eating would end. In his eyes, we are "friends with benefits" so he hasn't seen it as doing me any favors. But, I'd bet with yours, he was trying to feel less guilty about the cake so the "stud service" comment was like blaming you...easier to blame someone else if what you're doing makes you feel guilty. Just a thought...
Bipolared...I get the impression from my guy that give & take in the bedroom is only in the bedroom...like it doesn't apply elsewhere because there is a different give & take for that. I get what you're saying, but I know with mine that he wouldn't see helping with the dishes as a way to more BJ's. He would just see helping with the dishes as something we do to get the job done faster, which he likes things done fast so he helps. Then again, he's one who would think I should give him a BJ in the kitchen while he did the dishes so maybe I've interpreted him entirely wrong.
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Lmao..a BJ while doing dishes, needless to day the dishes may not get done or clean ;) ;). My H wouldn't "expect or ask" for a Bj even when we was married :o :o maybe mine weren't the best..lol ::). Oh well always room for improvement at some point lol.
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Obo, obo, obo under no circumstances is a man in his 20,s at his performance peak. This i believe only refers to the testosterone.
Honey, us women know all about will versus way ;-) hence my suggestion we may need Two to make up for it.
Sd
Xx
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I guess I am an anomaly; it's reversed in our sitch!
I never got anything out of receiving oral/BJ and never actually asked for or desired them that much! It was never one of those things she gave that much but would on occasion, but I never pestered. She doesn't ever ask or feel entitled, however, she never has to ask me for that type of service though. It's just one of those top list items I do for her!. Any day of the week and twice on Sunday ;)
I didn't get my tongue pierced and a vibrating tongue ring because it looks good! ;)
This thread reminds me of a joke I heard from a comedian named Bob Shimmell. Bob said...."when it comes to my wife & BJ's, my d*ck is in the witness protection program!' ;) ;) ;)
Honey, us women know all about will versus way ;-) hence my suggestion we may need Two to make up for it.
Wow!!! ;)
OBO
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I think we definitely stole a thread here..maybe we need to start one for just this kinda talk..lol. sorry for the Hijack!! Geez, we are all over the place lmao. Keeps us smiling though
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OBO I read that about the tongue piercing and vibrating tongue ring and said "holy $hit" ;D
I agree that a man should not expect "favors" if he has a problem returning said favor. A friend of mine once said her husband didn't like to give her that gift....I promptly told her that he shouldn't be getting it either.
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Ok. I have to chime in here.
Tongue piercing?? DAMN! What a lucky girl!
We seriously need to change the subject here. This is really frustrating to read. ::) :P
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Amen Serendipity :o :P
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I just read this thread. Just found it. I know we are all suffering so please don't take this wrong, but this is my favorite thread. I am laughing so freakin hard.
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Lmao..a BJ while doing dishes, needless to day the dishes may not get done or clean ;) ;). My H wouldn't "expect or ask" for a Bj even when we was married :o :o maybe mine weren't the best..lol ::). Oh well always room for improvement at some point lol.
My exH never asked for them either so don't assume you're not good at it. This one just REALLY likes them a lot. ::)
And for future reference, if you think his lack of interest might be your....ummm...technique...google is your friend. ;D ;)
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Tongue piercing?? DAMN! What a lucky girl!
Ditto what she said!
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Ok. I have to chime in here.
Tongue piercing?? DAMN! What a lucky girl!
We seriously need to change the subject here. This is really frustrating to read. ::) :P
Amen Serendipity :o :P
Tongue piercing?? DAMN! What a lucky girl!
Ditto what she said!
LMAO!!! Here you go ladies...it glows in the dark too...Ha! 8)
http://www.bodycandy.com/cgi-bin/item/10527#productimages (http://www.bodycandy.com/cgi-bin/item/10527#productimages)
(http://www.bodycandy.com/mas_assets/full/10527.jpg)
OBO
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Oh my... :o
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Yep this is definitely the "guilty pleasure" thread! Let's face it most of us are not getting our "needs" met right now. Whoever we end up spending our future with better be ready when the time comes ;D :-*
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Yep this is definitely the "guilty pleasure" thread! Let's face it most of us are not getting our "needs" met right now. Whoever we end up spending our future with better be ready when the time comes ;D :-*
Thats a great thread title. Maybe one of the mods can create the thread and move all the non-MLC Script V posts! ;)
OBO
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Lmao..Google is a good friend about tight now and the DVD player ;) ::) So well needed laughs goin on here..n by the way my H has it had his pierced as do I..lol. so maybe it wasn't so much the technique lol.
Frustratingbisnt even the word Serendipity..lol its agonizing in funny way n yes whoever said about the H or next one better watch out..I 2nd THAT!! ;D ;D lmao
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LOL - 3rd that. Now I can't go to sleep. :P
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Very interesting thread :)
Getting back to script here's some of the things I've heard:
ILYBINILWY (I called this the lit fuse on the bomb)
"I don't feel a connection with you anymore that's why I can't sleep with you."
"We've lived like roommates for years. I couldn't take it anymore." (when the roommate situation was totally his choice)
"She's just a friend. The affair is something you've made up in your head."
"I feel no passion for you anymore."
"I loved you to death until I woke up one morning and didn't love you anymore."
"I know God doesn't want us to divorce but I don't want to be married to you anymore."
"I just ran."
"I don't have a libido anymore."
"God doesn't want me to be miserable."
"I just want to run away where nobody can find me."
"I don't blame you for your infertility. I blame you for how you handled it."
"I stopped loving you because you were depressed."
"You're a stick in the mud" (although I did almost every adventurous things he ever proposed--even overcoming a phobia of motorcycles that developed after being in a motorcycle accident as a child).
"You were always threatening suicide" (never once threatened that--just stated that I wished I could die when he started threatening to leave).
"You need to learn to take care of yourself." (This was after a year being on my own and handling EVERYTHING without any of his help physically or financially...HELLO!?)
The thing about all those statements above is now he denies saying any of it...other than the fact that he fell out of love with me. This is a man who told me he loved me two weeks before he left. In our last conversation he said that he fell out of love with me, and 2 minutes later said he was answering my phone call out of "love and concern."
If you looked up "contradiction" in the dictionary "people in midlife crisis" should be one of the definitions.
Two years before BD he started shaving his pubes and asked me to do the same. I declined as I told him that women have to wax to achieve a clean result which was not a torture I was going to routinely subject myself to. I asked him why he was doing it, and he said he thought he'd try it, and when he did he liked it. He was irritated that I wouldn't join him in going "Brazilian." Naive me at the time didn't think a lot about it. He stopped having sex with me a year before he left. Just before the sex stoppage he had taken me to a romantic B&B for valentine's weekend. When BD came a few months later he told me he felt "used" when he took me to the B&B and I wanted to have sex twice! Gasp! Twice!? What a nympho I was! No wonder he had leave! ::)
I know the sex issue became a big thing for him because he's diabetic and started having ED 5-6 years ago. In the last few years he used Viagra and hated it and resented me for it. I think masturbation and porn became his "sex life" since he didn't have to have an erection to to self-fulfill. Before he left he started telling me he could get an erection on his own. Either the "friend" resurrected him or he was lying, because I wasn't seeing any evidence of it in the months before he left...just the kleenexes in the trashcan of his bedroom that he always expected me to empty. That was the ultimate slap in the face, and I finally told him he needed to dispose of these on his own and it was insulting.
Bizzaro-land!
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You know, I think in my case that ed was a contributing factor. I think he blames me for it. I actually think that's what he means by there is no spark. He seemed to feel the spark a couple of weeks ago when he actually carried me to the bedroom for a romp and had no problems.
Last weekend we went down that road again. He had no problems. So being a smart ass, after I let him rest a bit and have a cold one I asked him if he was ready for round 2. He said no he was tired and I told him I was sorry he couldn't keep up with me. I know, that's mean, but hey, it's true. And I needed to get in as much as possible in the limited time I had available.
He said to me once, I hope you don't think I'm using you. No buddy, but I hope you know I'm using you.
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You know..I think us LBS's should partake in buying in the battery industry. We could make a killing lmao. ;) ;D. Haha. Ok. TMT, I know..it is gonna be hard to sleep from laughing and just thinking..lol
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TMT...I do think they blame us for the ED, and why they don't feel a spark. They don't want to admit that they are getting older and/or having health issues...so it just HAS to be the woman who has been with them for so long...she doesn't know how to turn them on anymore.
Denial at it's finest...or most pathetic in this case.
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You know, I think in my case that ed was a contributing factor. I think he blames me for it. I actually think that's what he means by there is no spark. He seemed to feel the spark a couple of weeks ago when he actually carried me to the bedroom for a romp and had no problems.
Last weekend we went down that road again. He had no problems. So being a smart ass, after I let him rest a bit and have a cold one I asked him if he was ready for round 2. He said no he was tired and I told him I was sorry he couldn't keep up with me. I know, that's mean, but hey, it's true. And I needed to get in as much as possible in the limited time I had available.
He said to me once, I hope you don't think I'm using you. No buddy, but I hope you know I'm using you.
I get something similar to the using you thing......mine use to say she didnt want to give mixed signals or blur the lines. Said she wanted me sexually but things arent fixed yet....doesnt want me to feel resentful or used. Yea right....like its oh so tortuous for me and I get nothing out of it!
You know..I think us LBS's should partake in buying in the battery industry. We could make a killing lmao. ;) ;D. Haha. Ok. TMT, I know..it is gonna be hard to sleep from laughing and just thinking..lol
OMG...Wow! Well my toy just uses the lil' batteries is all I can say! ;) :P
OBO
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Yep this is definitely the "guilty pleasure" thread! Let's face it most of us are not getting our "needs" met right now. Whoever we end up spending our future with better be ready when the time comes ;D :-*
I went 5 YEARS without...that first time after that long...can't be repeated. ;D :o 8) We still reminisce about it.
I think I need some cake soon...I may have to break one of my own rules when he visits on Sunday. Maybe I should just unsubscribe from this thread instead...but I can't look away. ;) ;D
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I just keep telling myself that the make up sex will be MINDBLOWING!!!
It's been over 8 months and I'm dying!!! WHY did he have to leave at my peak?!?!?!? :o :o :o :o
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5 YEARS?? I don't think I have the strength for that. OMG I can't talk about this anymore. I have to get some sleep. I have to be up in a few hours. I'm too distracted. Crap.
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I'm not sure how I did it...and it was probably more like 6 years because we barely did it at all the last 6-8 mo before exH left. My D11 was only 2 and never slept through the night so I was exhausted and just didn't think about it. And it wasn't that good so I never really thought I was missing much. Little did I know...
Anyways...it CAN be done.
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You don't need to invest in batteries....you can get things that recharge from Amazon. I know: I received one for Christmas year before last. ;)
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Amazon 1 click ordering has never been so dangerous.
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Medusa & Bipolared y'all are bad influences on me.....I visited Amazon :o ;)
Ahh the choices to be made!
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You don't need to invest in batteries....you can get things that recharge from Amazon. I know: I received one for Christmas year before last. ;)
Amazon 1 click ordering has never been so dangerous.
Medusa & Bipolared y'all are bad influences on me.....I visited Amazon :o ;)
Ahh the choices to be made!
:o ::) ;)
(http://maliceinwonderland66.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/speakno.gif)
OBO
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What? You mean none of you is considering joining a convent??? I am shocked...the nunneries are a bit bare these days.....!
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Yeah no nunnery, there are thing I enjoy WAY too much for that. Sadly my new battery operated buddy will not be able to accomplish some of them ??? It will simply take the edge of ;D
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So maybe one of the moderators could move the posts that are not appropriate under MLC Script V to here. Here is my response to the last post.
"Yeah no nunnery, there are things I enjoy WAY too much for that. Sadly my new battery operated buddy will not be able to accomplish some of them ??? It will simply take the edge off. ;D "
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LMAO!! ;)
Attached!
OBO
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OBO B.O.B doesnt do the things you referred to......damnit :( We may have temporarily
put that from our minds (the ladies), until you brought that up :-\
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LOL, LOL, LOL!!
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...Oh!! This is just classic! Thank goodness we can all still laugh ;D ;D ;D! I don't think it would be possible to find a bigger d!ck than our current Hs and the way they are behaving!
[/quote]
It's going back a bit but love thus quote
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I think there is something that does that but the reviews were bad. I can't imagine it coming anywhere near close, however, who knows what I will be buying after a few months more in this ;D?
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So maybe one of the moderators could move the posts that are not appropriate under MLC Script V to here.
Yes, but I took a look at it and pretty much everything for Reply #18 onwards does not seem to belong to the thread... it is just you ladies having fun... So I will cut it at Reply #18 and if anything else needs to be moved or put back let us know.
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Thanks Anjae!!
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OBO B.O.B doesnt do the things you referred to......damnit :( We may have temporarily
put that from our minds (the ladies), until you brought that up :-\
Well isn't this typical! Topic discussion was already in progress, man walks in the room and makes a comment on the male perspective, and who takes the blame for all the generated frustration? The damn man of course!
Ok fine; it's all my fault! ;) ;D 8)
OBO
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OBO when you supplied a photo/description of one of your secret weapons it totally became your fault for frustrations :o ::) ;D
I am sure it tickles you to death though!
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OBO when you supplied a photo/description of one of your secret weapons it totally became your fault for frustrations :o ::) ;D
I am sure it tickles you to death though!
OK....you got me! ;)
OBO
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I think if my h comes out of this, getting his tongue pierced will be on the list of demands for me. :P
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Serendipity I may have to convince mine to do the same! See OBO this IS all your fault ;D ::)
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I think if my h comes out of this, getting his tongue pierced will be on the list of demands for me. :P
Serendipity I may have to convince mine to do the same! See OBO this IS all your fault ;D ::)
Oddly enough, it actually started as a joke. My S21 came home on leave and had his pierced. I made a remark about it and he commenced to bragging about his "skills" to which I had to $h!te talk back stating I never needed anything to enhance my skills in that area.....etc....etc!
I ended up getting challenged by S21 and Mrs. OBO dared me as well.....so after about a week of mental prep.....I got it done. Bought the toy the next day and waited 2 weeks to heal!
Didnt hurt either if you can believe that. Waiting to finish up toning my abs and pecks so I can get symmetrical surface piercings in those areas!
OBO
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Too funny, since I have 2 sons I can actually see that conversation completely!
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I don't think I could handle getting mine pierced. I've sat through hours under a tattoo gun, but the piercing s freak me out. Ha!
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I don't think I could handle getting mine pierced. I've sat through hours under a tattoo gun, but the piercing s freak me out. Ha!
It's really not that bad, honestly! The piercing tool is actually hollow; 14ga. inner diamter. They prep the barbell with the top ball and insert it into the top of the piercing needle. Once they mark it, they hold your tongue with a pair of forceps and takes about a second to push through. Literally, it was no worse than a shot from the dentist! Then, they just pull it through the bottom and the barbell remains in the tongue. Screw on the bottom ball and done.
From the time he told be to take a breath and exhale to the time he was done and had the bottom ball screwed on was like 30 seconds, I swear! It took him WAY more time to sterilize and set everything up than it did to actually pierce!
OBO
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Well my naval piercing hurt like hell for a few seconds. Then it was tender for a few weeks. Actually I just got it done 6 weeks ago last Thursday and although it is healed it is still sometimes tender. So holy smokes I cannot imagine my tongue. My 22 yr old's gf has a tongue piercing though and she said the same as you OBO.
My tattoo hurt but I managed. I just got my 1st tattoo last year at 43, and like a real bada$$ I took my Momma with me ;D ;D
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Well my naval piercing hurt like hell for a few seconds. Then it was tender for a few weeks. Actually I just got it done 6 weeks ago last Thursday and although it is healed it is still sometimes tender. So holy smokes I cannot imagine my tongue. My 22 yr old's gf has a tongue piercing though and she said the same as you OBO.
My tattoo hurt but I managed. I just got my 1st tattoo last year at 43, and like a real bada$$ I took my Momma with me ;D ;D
Mrs. OBO had a naval piercing for a while but her body started rejecting it so had to remove it. Bummed me out cause I think those are sexy as hell!!! Anyway, once it heals, she will go get it re-done at a different piercer!
Ok....got a good chuckle out of the bold comment....LOL! ;D
OBO
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OBO I thought that is what all people do when they get their 1st tattoo ::) ::)
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My naval piercing was anticlimactic as far as the piercing was concerned but the story the artist told me about a woman who came in with her friend to "witness" the friend getting a clitoris pierce was hysterical because the friend didn't know she also had one or what it was for. So picture a guy weighing at least 300 pounds with a lazy eye, many tattoos and large gauges not just piercing a woman's part but explaining the purpose of the clitoris!
I got my naval pierced about 3 weeks after BD. It was my way of showing my middle finger to the old Corps attitudes towards what an officer's wife was supposed to be. :)
And I got my first tattoo about a month ago. That hurt like a SOB because I was silly and put it on my lower leg. Its finally healed and I was thrilled to finally shave that part of my leg the other day. The pain was worth it because my D was with me and has the exact same tat, and H's expression when he saw it last weekend was priceless!
OBO, thanks to you now if I decide to date, I'm going to be searching for men my age with a tongue piercing. Could you please help me narrow the field a bit more for this middle-aged, middle-class professor? ;)
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OMG Medusa great minds think alike!! I too got my naval piercing about 3 weeks after BD :o :o
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My naval piercing was anticlimactic as far as the piercing was concerned but the story the artist told me about a woman who came in with her friend to "witness" the friend getting a clitoris pierce was hysterical because the friend didn't know she also had one or what it was for. So picture a guy weighing at least 300 pounds with a lazy eye, many tattoos and large gauges not just piercing a woman's part but explaining the purpose of the clitoris!
Ok; I just about choked on my pizza when I read this. Holy Sh*t!!!
I got my naval pierced about 3 weeks after BD. It was my way of showing my middle finger to the old Corps attitudes towards what an officer's wife was supposed to be. :)
Yea....damn you....don't you know you're suppose to be a buttoned up Lil' Ms. Pristine with a pucker factor so tight you can't get a BB in with a Jackhammer?? :o :o ::) ::) ;D ;)
And I got my first tattoo about a month ago. That hurt like a SOB because I was silly and put it on my lower leg. Its finally healed and I was thrilled to finally shave that part of my leg the other day. The pain was worth it because my D was with me and has the exact same tat, and H's expression when he saw it last weekend was priceless!
Really cool getting one with you're D! I have one on each calf and I agree....they stung a bit!
OBO, thanks to you now if I decide to date, I'm going to be searching for men my age with a tongue piercing. Could you please help me narrow the field a bit more for this middle-aged, middle-class professor? ;)
Hmmm....should be pretty narrow now! When I went to get mine the guy looked at me like I was a Leper! Apparently not many guys my age get a tongue piercing; women yes; men....not so much! ;)
So....since we are on the topic.....cool trick I learned.....standard tongue rings are surgical steel. Hold an ice cube in your jaw and periodically pull the tongue ring in, let it cool off a bit, then ................ ;) ::) 8)
OBO
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Seriously OBO, you are going to make the ladies here hunt you down and kill you for torturing us :o ;D
It just ain't right!
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Here is a just for fun question for the ladies (guys will probably LOL at this):
If you have a B.O.B. (hopefully most know this is a battery operated buddy/boyfriend) what do you call it/name? I almost died when my dear friend told me her B.O.B. is named "Papa Smurf" ;D ;D
Just one of those priceless discussions with a girlfriend......Papa Smurf...How in the hell am I gonna come up with a better name than that for my new friend??
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OH MY GOSH!! I just laughed out loud in court!
Funniest thing I have heard ALL day! And for me that says a lot. I spent the day interviewing prostitutes...
I never thought of naming him. Well, it surely won't be Genius as he never really was spectacular. A bit too tight laced and lacking in imagination for me. Perhaps that is why he choose a little girl. As he told me, "She is much more focused on cerebral satisfaction, where as you are so earthy." Dear heaven, I still have no idea what the wing nut meant by that and don't really care.
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LP, I almost died when my friend told me the name of hers.....just too damn funny. Even more s because she is 58 years old and everyone thinks she is a "good girl" ummmmm NOT. She is a freak, and talks about sex all the time! Glad you got a laugh today.