[Treasur]

Well, it sounds as if you are fine, Marvin, and that you have been able to meet the goal I think you set for yourself of being some kind of friend without being overly embroiled.

I wonder what’s in Colorado? Odd time of year to relocate there I’d think. Wasn’t she living in Italy before? OM bitten the dust? New OM with free snowshoes lol? Who knows. But as long as all it cost you was a few old pots and pans, that sounds fine. It is her life and path to plow, after all and you sound happily busy with your own.

[marvin4242]

Thanks Treasur. I think most of us know at this point the answer to "what does it all mean? What has changed?" Answer is it means nothing, nothing has changed, the players may swap, the setting may be changed, but the play remains the same. I am sure OM is still around, but he was never really the issue. Yes, she has been to Italy, Norway, Colorado, NY, home, and who knows where else honestly. I am sure there is just that perfect place that will make things ok.

What should be very clear that even when she can just put herself first (being selfish), be free (she never was captive), be with whoever she wants (friends, OM) nothing really changes.

I can't imagine what it would be like to still have attachment to her well being, or if I had not stopped trying to dance with the crazy within the first year. Or if I had put my life on hold "waiting for them to exit the tunnel."