[Songanddance]

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3111.msg247643#msg247643

hrtnbig - is this it?

[PolarBear]

Hi guys,

I just received this via text from my MLC W, it has completely stumped me, and I don't know what to do/reply at the moment.

I am sorry that I have caused you so much pain. You have always been ,above all, my best friend and hurting and damaging a friend let alone your husband is unacceptable.
I accept  that you will never forgive me and that we have both changed immensely due to this experience and that the scars from the ordeal are permanent and irreversible.
I regret that our bright future together is now just a distant memory.
I am glad that you are moving on as you deserve happiness.
I am proud of how we are still managing the children together, even though it can sometimes be very difficult. Our children were always very important to us...that is one thing that hasn't changed..thankfully.

[OnMyJourney]

I've had a huge set back with a new OW (my neighbour) replacing the long, long term OW after that relationship ended about a month ago.

I don't think I can get past this one.  She has been wanting to leave her h for years and I think she will do this very quickly now that my h and her have connected.  Actually, what I really feel is scared.  I knew that the R that h had with previous OW would go nowhere and was noting even though it was long term.

I'd appreciate any advice and especially from the long timers on how to getway through this very difficult time.  Dontgiveup do you have any words of wisdom?

I also have a great urge to call h out on this one.  Thoughts?

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3870.0

[LearningIamOk]

Answered on your thread.

[Dontgiveup]

I'd appreciate any advice and especially from the long timers on how to getway through this very difficult time.  Dontgiveup do you have any words of wisdom?

Well, it's not my wisdom.....but the wisdom of others that I'll offer.  I've linked one of RCR's articles that refers to this.  My friend and I discussed this article more than once.  His MLCer had 3 OM during her crisis, including the one she married (and subsequently divorced).

http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/standing-actions_contact-and-communication_pursuit-and-distance_mlcer-run-when-alienator-gone.html

[hopeandfaith]

Hi all,

Just wondering if someone could please lock my thread.  Are we able to do this ourselves?

Thankyou 

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4477.0

[Dagolark]

Hello,

I'm currently waiting for a mentor (not 100% sure I'm on the list?) but I would appreciate some help if at all possible. I'm in the aftermath of bd, when the shock is wearing down and the depression settling in, and I just feel like I can't possibly make it through.

Thank you...

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4977.0

Edit- answered on your thread  OldPilot

[bookwrmmom]

So I am in need of some advice from my experienced friends. I met with my Pastor today for my weekly counseling session with him. He asked me to get advice from someone here who is experienced with these situations (he gave me his take but was curious what the support forum advice would be).
My H has not removed any of his stuff from the home except his guns (only because he is a collector & they are very valuable & he stupidly thought I would sell them...I would not). He told me to get rid of all his clothes as they are way to big after loosing about 90 pounds, so I had a yard sale. However everything else he owns is in the home & he has been gone since BD 2/17/2014. At first he didn't move his stuff because he thought he was still getting the new home. Well he found out last week that that is not happening, & now he is saying that he is going to keep living in the camper & possibly upgrade to a larger one. Today when he was sending me all these texts (& I was stupidly responding) I told him he needed to come get ALL his stuff if he is NEVER coming back to me. He responded to all the other texts with excuses, BS, etc. That text.....crickets.....like I never said a word. Every time I mention making changes to the home (selling some pieces, etc.) & ask him if he wants a piece that I am thinking of getting rid of.......crickets......
So what do I do about his stuff (a lot of stuff)? Do I give him a deadline (my Pastor's suggestion) & tell him that if you don't come & get all your stuff (& NOT send someone else to MY home to get it for you) in say 45 days then I will rent a storage unit in your name & you will be responsible for paying the bill & I will give him the key. Or do I just leave it alone & let him cook for a while. I have moved all of his items from the rooms that I use so that I don't have to look at them every day BUT I have 3 rooms that I cannot use. 2 of them I don't really care about but one I would like to make my craft room. Do I just try to take the stuff out of that room & cram the stuff into the two spare rooms & let him continue to "cook" for a while? What do I do? I can try to organize the two spare bedrooms a bit better & maybe sell some things that are not his, but how long do I let it go?
Yes he has had some reality checks in the past few weeks, but we are nowhere near the end of this....not as far as I can see.

answered on your thread

[ToNewTimes]

Hello everyone.  Thought I'd toss this out to see what experience anyone has had or read with regard to how pursuit and distance might change the MLC's R or perception of the OW.  Especially if LBS goes a little dark after 2 years on the limbo roller coaster!

Please stop by my thread for my story: 

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=4771.0

    (hope I did that right!)

I know not to try to figure out what is in his head but wanted to see what you all think of this pursuit (taking more chances on the cell phone) and wonder if it is the same as his fantasy and pursuit of the OW except now I am the OW!

I know NC or going dim or dark is for me if I need it but wonder if I am suddenly less available and he has only OW if he will really start to see her true colors and realize it's not what he wants. 

Looking forward to your feedback!  Have a blessed day!
TNT

[OldPilot]

New thread

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=5048.0