[MourningDove]

As it is my H has avoided going to the doctor for the past couple of years, I have no "concrete evidence". That said, he has shown so many symptoms of male menopause. I suspect it is certainly part of the equation, but not all, as FOO issues etc pile on. That said, if one's hormones get out of whack, it can, like with some women after having children trigger depression issues, which can bring out all sorts of other issues.

But, getting our MLCer to go to the doctor or seeing there is something hormonal at work?

It is easier to believe that the rest of the world is wrong than to accept that there might be something wrong, especially physically or mentally with an MLCer.

[barbiedoll]

I am in total agreement with the "male menopause " having some play in it all. Add that to suppressed FOO issues and an avoidant personality ... and they can blow up their lives. I have proof. I tried to get my husband to go to the doctor . But he refused ( of course) . He told me " I was grasping at anything to blame it all on so I do not have to accept that he is done and no longer loves me etc ". This is also the man who slept endlessly. He would lay done on the couch and say" I am tired , this has nothing to do with depression Doctor Barbiedoll " OK.

My husband is also diabetic.. so frequently at the doctor. I spoke to the doctor on 2 occasions . I asked him if the mixture of several new medications could be making him "crazy" . He actually looked in the computer to see what my husband was taking. He agreed to do some specific blood test... in fact , he agreed to consider a brain scan. I was sooooo distraught that the doctor absolutely took me seriously and he himself was shocked at my husbands behaviour. The doctor printed off a depression questionarre and a hormone self test and gave it to me . He said. "if you can, have him complete this and make an appointment and I will check him top to bottom." I clearly remember him mumbling something about "black dog " of life . I googled it months later ..

http://articles.baltimoresun.com/1998-05-31/features/1998151049_1_midlife-crisis-howell-raines-black-dog

My husband is actually on some kind of mission about this ...( oh, by the way, I never got him to go to the doctor )
I have heard him say over and over .. " why is there no information given to men ?.Why do women know everyrhing there is to know about menopause , and men are NEVER talked to about how we might feel, what may happen, what to expect or watch for?' Where is the pamphlet for men.? Seriously, he has asked the doctor why this information is not given . He is not saying it would have changed any part of his crisis ... but maybe.
My husbnd was hospitalized with severe chest pain ( panic ) once the fog cleared . He spent several days there . And then, he agreed to do any test that was ordered. Unfortunately, that also included STD testing . His testosterone was low.

[bookwrmmom]

I absolutely believe male menopause or low T played a big part in this. Add in the FOO issues, and the fact that he had bariatric surgery 3 months before he met OW, lost a bunch of weight very rapidly, and went cold turkey off of all his meds including T medicine and you have a perfect storm.
So yes I believe it plays a part, but only a part in it.

[living with Hope]

My spouse tried the pills and now does the gel.  (well as far as I know he does).  But it didn't change the journey.  He just went on to use his new found "energy" on multiple women and his steady OW.