[Peace Joy Love and Time]

Work on balance...a balance and find peace. Work on finding and keeping that inner peace. Don't let anyone rob you of that. Postive self talk. You are enough!

Let go emotionally, release them lovingly into the universe, give up control, stop trying, drop the rope, not your monkeys not your circus, end their fun and games, stop the drama, go NC, (for those of you who aren't currently reconciling) learn to trust and forgive yourself first, and let God work on them

Well put, init! Well put, indeed!

[CallanG]

Thanks for bringing these to my attention barbie, I found them very helpful and insightful . He is correct I do have similar wounds to my H. Mine from my Father and his from his Mother . When this happened I was determined not to be a victim and it did help me to work through my own journey .

It interested me when the guy said he had his own crisis and that he found someone who reminded him of his mother to have an affair with . I can certainly see in my situation that H has gone for a Mother figure .

I am going to read some of the other article and some some of the other videos .

Callan

[in it]

The first exow was someone he thought had more "issues" than he did. The second bd it WAS his mother.

[barbiedoll]

I am "Susan from Canada ". I wrote to him at a very very low point . It helped me incredibly and I am now doing a skype "family tree". I see many many things about my own family of origin.. I did think I was from the Waltons . I did. "Compared" to my husband, my childhood was "wonderfull". My husband lived in terror of his alcoholic father , has no memory of Family things like vacations , halloween or the easter bunny . He cannot recall any christmas . He moved 19 times by the time he was 15. He tells a story of going to school and when he went home, the family had moved. Most moves were in the middle of the night to avoid angry LL. Mine was the extreme opposite .. tons of family vacations and a family cottage , everything was a huge decorated event and Halloween parties were a yearly event . No one drank, abused and I was never afraid to go home . My father is a loving kind person. My mother .. I see now was a narcissist and the root of never feeling heard . EVER. Never feeling like what I "felt " was right. My mother is tough and without one ounce of empathy in her entire body. If my dad tried to soothe me or listen to me .. she blocked that interaction and was enraged by ANY attention he gave me . She was jealous of my dads relationship with me . My dad and I had lunch this year for the 1st time ever . Alone. He had to lie to her as she would have went mental if she knew . ( IMAGINE?)  My mother has made me rage to the point of leaving the planet in shaking fury . I could not understand why?, I am beginning to see very clearly why. I continue on MY journey

[in it]

I just recently discovered my mother is jealous of me too..wtf is up with that? A concept that's hard for me to understand..an observation made by someone other than me. I'm happy this person expressed it to me or I may have not seen it at all.

Your mother sounds a lot like mine.

[CallanG]

I am "Susan from Canada ". I wrote to him at a very very low point . It helped me incredibly and I am now doing a skype "family tree". I see many many things about my own family of origin.. I did think I was from the Waltons . I did. "Compared" to my husband, my childhood was "wonderfull". My husband lived in terror of his alcoholic father , has no memory of Family things like vacations , halloween or the easter bunny . He cannot recall any christmas . He moved 19 times by the time he was 15. He tells a story of going to school and when he went home, the family had moved. Most moves were in the middle of the night to avoid angry LL. Mine was the extreme opposite .. tons of family vacations and a family cottage , everything was a huge decorated event and Halloween parties were a yearly event . No one drank, abused and I was never afraid to go home . My father is a loving kind person. My mother .. I see now was a narcissist and the root of never feeling heard . EVER. Never feeling like what I "felt " was right. My mother is tough and without one ounce of empathy in her entire body. If my dad tried to soothe me or listen to me .. she blocked that interaction and was enraged by ANY attention he gave me . She was jealous of my dads relationship with me . My dad and I had lunch this year for the 1st time ever . Alone. He had to lie to her as she would have went mental if she knew . ( IMAGINE?)  My mother has made me rage to the point of leaving the planet in shaking fury . I could not understand why?, I am beginning to see very clearly why. I continue on MY journey

How spooky , I was going to PM you today to ask if you were Susan from Canada .

Callan

[in it]

On the flip side of that Barbie it may be a good thing to see only the good in your childhood as it looks like that was a lot of that.

There are other things that created the pain you may currently feel. And having this feeling that you are not good enough might be one of them.

A narcissistic mother can make you feel like that. Not feeling like you are heard is one of them. Narcissists do not LISTEN they KNOW everything. They do not have the capablity to feel love or compassion. I hope you have gone NC with her or at least limited your contact with her.