[sparklestar]

One thing I wanted to ask not necessarily to do with vanishers but I read in Bkie arises thread actually a comment from Savoir Faire I think that there isn't an MLCr that's come back before 2 years? Is that right? As we all know many of the MLCrs have been in MLC for a long time prior to BD so the 2 year min takes that in to account? I just wondered if that was a good stat or not?

[nah]

We tend to over focus on the timelines but they are unpredictable

There have been a few that come back after a short time.

Barbiedoll's husband comes to mind. I think he was gone for about 2-3 months. There was another too, maybe someone else can remember their name.

[sparklestar]

yeah I was thinking that would be the answer I guess just because they are back doesn't mean they are fully 'cooked' like in Barbies case. Hmmm  if the whole process is 2-7 years then it could be so many different times due to variables. I always s wondered if those that vanish come through it quicker as they go try out the fantasy quicker but then Nah your 4 years at this and Air is quite a way in and only beginnings of signs that something may be changing...

[BrenM]

Sparklestar.....guess we need to trust the process.  Where there is love their is always hope.   I used to frantically research timeframes, to calculate when I would see a sign of reconnection.  In the early days I wasted thousands on psychics, I was so desperate to seek the answer..when would he Return?  I have had a gut feeling right from the start, that intuition keeps me going.  I know something is not right with Eh, others are seeing that too now.

I used to be such a planner, so focused on where we were heading in life. Now I just go through life one day at a time.  One step at a time.  Literally winging my own life.  It terrifies me, but we are coping and surviving.  The kids and I have such a strong bond.  The boys are so protective of me. They won't allow anyone to hurt me again. 

We just need to remember that they are firetrucked up.

I have also changed my username from Rossbren to Brenross......I am now the important person in this partnership.....for now 😘

[Tyks]

I wondered why you changed your name BR. I too go to psychics bc I find it aoothes me for a while. What did yours say over the years? Mine continually says reconciliation

[BrenM]

Totally understand the soothing feeling Tyks....yes mine were the same, always reconciliation.  I have had frightening readings from Cassandra Eason, she is a top British Psychic and author, does tours to AUSTRALIA once every 12 months.  My two readings have been the same,  almost identical. I told her nothing about my situation during both readings, yet she picked up on the situation....how do they do That?  Intriguing....

[Mara]

Hi BR

I accidently came to your thread Was following Bluerose and got somewhere mixed up with Brennross. But well, interesting to follow you too, if you allow me

Just picking up what you said about the gutfeeling of reconciliation.
This is what I have too....there are no signs at all, and my context is thinking I m having false hope. But this is not the same.
My friend who is therapist is telling me two things, which sometimes are seemingly contradictorial but they are not. Take care of yourself... and your kids, as if reconciliation never happens. And listen to your gutfeelings that reconciliation will happen. Because only you know . You know if your h says he want to divorce you ,that he is actually not saying that... 

Take care

Mara

[BrenM]

Hi Mara

This is Bluerose's thread...we have very similar stories so I hijacked it with her blessings haha.   No we both had Vanisher threads and our threads were merged.  When I first came to this site there wasn't too many Vanishers....but since starting "our" threads there is a lot of us...and yes our stories are very very similiar.    These threads have helped me immensely as I grow stronger each day.

My Husband divorced me, I had no say...it didn't even require my signature in AUSTRALIA.  This happened  last September.  When we married it required both of our consents.....ironic hey?  I do not feel divorced. 

I can't put my finger on my gut feeling.  People tell me that I deserve better, which I do!  But I am not giving up on the man I call my husband.  My husband has abandoned myself and our 4 kids....if it was just me I would understand that maybe he just fell out of love....hmmmm...  my kids and I are moving forward with our lives, my husband is missing out on so much, if he comes out of the fog he will have to catch up with us.  I know that he will.

[sparklestar]

I hope we keep this thread going as it is just so valuable for us with vanishers.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that just has this underlying gut feeling that won't go away. It's not delusion or desperate hope but a real feeling. I just know I have to be the strong one. If I end up being wrong so be it but I can tell you if I sit. Then I will NEVER doubt my gut feeling again!

The time line thing can get a bit obsessive I guess it's patience that's req'd and trust like you said Rossbren / Brenross ha ha!

In the meantime focus is on me I'm not believing in the MLC fake situation he has ATM

See you on the new thread xxx

[Mara]

Hi Brenross

You do not have to sign even?
Well, here they need my signature, but it s not that I have the right to refuse... I m obligated to show up in court to sign... Wow, speaking of freedom...
I am sorry to hear your story. My h also left me and three kids, 2,5 years now. Changing from a clinger into something I can not define yet. I think it s not a vanisher yet...but
You are right about the man you married being your husband. They know too...

I read along with this thread.

Mara