[angelgirl]

Thanks all. You confirmed it for me. Snooping for past info is no good for anyone. I think it confirms how he lied to himself or it all got jumbled in his reality-compromised mind at the time. I guess i keep thinking that from Sept-December he seemed pretty normal to me. He didn't distance himself until December, so I thought, "gee, wasn't I stupid." I relive the moments to see if there were any signs I need to learn for the future.

Letting him know I snooped was mistake. I think i embarrassed him and got him thinking that I didn't trust him. I do mostly, but I guess i wanted to know how good a liar he really was. So trust isn't 100%. Really, I just want him to tell me if there is any more contact with OW in the future. Even if she just gives him the finger in the hallway. LOL

Thanks again.
angelgirl

[NewBeginnings]

angelgirl ~ Trust me, they can lie and deceive very easily.  I have always had such great radar for a cheating spouse.  My H acted totally normal last fall when his affair started.  I never picked up on anything.   I still can't believe I didn't notice anything.

NB

[LettingGo]

reality-compromised

  I like that as well as I like "creatively redefining....." 

[Wed2Him?Whatever.]

Angel honey I am glad that you have decided not to do any further snooping.  You seem to be at least subconsciously blaming yourself for not having stopped the original affair, like you're trying so hard to be on your guard to prevent a potential rekindling of it.  It is understandable but even in this stage of reconciliation you've got to continue GALing to save yourself from obsessing on the details.  If it happens again you feel like snooping, make some sort of a small reward for yourself whenever you don't give in to temptation.