[Kenai]

I could sign up for the list of LongJourney completely  It is an excellent list.

Of course, some parts I did not understand/perceive clearly until H left, precisely as described in number 8. Until then I was sure that H was growingly irritated because of work-related depression/burnout. Only afterwards have I come to notice the withdrawal he has been doing for some time. No idea about OP, the possibility exists but not confirmed.

Of course marriages die off for many reasons. But it rings my bells that the spouse changes so completely as a person and makes this BD. I understand that occasionally the abandoning spouse wants to project blame to justify themselves, whether or not MLC. However, at least in my case, the abandoning seems not to have resolved a big thing in the H's life - he seems equally dissatisfied with his life, equally depressed, equally weird. If it was just the marriage or me to be accused of his unfullfilled needs, shouldn't he be happy now? Should not all his problems be resolved? Why does not he seem at all fullfilled yet, being completely free now?

I think it might be useful for you, thetruth, also to read the threads on how LBS ended up figuring out it was MLC. There are similarities, especially the BombDrop-situation and the sudden change of personality of the spouse who left. Things that perhaps do not occur so often with other types of marriage-breakdowns, which are also hurtful and difficult but the causes perhaps can be identified by both spouses in a much clearer way.

Kenai.

[Returned]

Indeed.
We are searching for The Truth.