The Tini Owens case is only controversial because the hsuband is contesting the divorce. Why isn’t clear: hebsays they ‘rub aling’ Well enough. Maybe he doesn’t want to pay her out or maybe he thinks she’ll change her mind.... who knows? It’s easy enough to cite unreasonable behaviour which is minor and have it go through if it isn’t contested. As someone earlier said, she can divorce without his consent after 5 years and they are living separately anyway.
To name the adultery partner in the U.K. is frowned upon really as vengeful. I filed recently and felt I’d like to name her: there are some costs involved for her though I’m not clear what exactly. She does have to get involved somehow though. My emotional self thinks naming should be a more acceptable option since it seems to be the only bit of justice We lbs can obtain. I didn’t do it in the end since my L suggested not to. I still think that if I had done it my vengefulnfeelings towards her might have been somewhat sated, but in the end I decided I didn’t want to give her the power of being named as the reason and I cited ‘other wonen’ Since he’d had some one night infidelities in business trips.
My unreasonable behaviours were - the affair and it’s length; that it continued when I was assured he was taking time out to think; refusal to go to counselling; money from joint account spent on taking her overseas quite a lot.
It was fairly anodyne since we know how much more goes on.
But even this looks quite stark, set down. H was quite upset by it and was quite childlike in his wailing about what he had or hadn’t done. Since he had said he was returning to the affair, and I said that would mean divorce for me, I’m not sure what he expected. I agree that no fault divorce, while creating fewer waves, allows poor behaviour to slip by, unrecorded. The adult in me understands it makes no difference to the outcome, but the hurt part of me feels just a little bit of justice in setting down the wrongness of his actions.