[sachat3]

Just because your XW had a Ow after D doesn’t mean it wasn’t/isn’t  MLC. From what I can gather it is more of a case of “being there” he could have been there and willing and he was chosen. It’s a funny old world isn’t it ha!

[Silver]

Just because your XW had a Ow after D doesn’t mean it wasn’t/isn’t  MLC. From what I can gather it is more of a case of “being there” he could have been there and willing and he was chosen. It’s a funny old world isn’t it ha!

I agree myself when I think about it, it's just a thought that sometimes bugs me. She really played by the MLC playbook and it probably doesn't matter if it was this OM or OM before him, she left that guy only 1-2 months before she filed so...

[Father5]

   My wife is even having weirder dynamics. She is the OW in her affair. The man she is seeing which I have never net or seen, is a married man. She has been quoted as saying "he is just like Father5 his wife just fell out of love with him" !

   They live 2500 miles apart which is good and bad. Good I don't have to see them out together etc. Bad because they don't see each other enough to have the infatuation where off !

[sachat3]

From what I know that can be the case father and it’s not uncommon for two MLCers to join together.

[Penelope2018]

I think a lot of MLC affairs are a lot like vampires. They are fine as long as they are hidden from real life and the light of day. Once exposed to the sun and out in the open, they become reality and eventually explode and burn like a vampire does in daylight.

Not really, since many MLCer and alienator relationships last many, may years. In fact, as soon as they are out of the darkness and they start living together it is no longer and affair, it is a relationship. There is no shortage of LBS on HS whose MLCer has been with the alienator for many years. It is rare that a MLC affair tends to explode, more like it goes on and on and on. And if it explodes, it may be a many years down the road.

No one gives anyone's else husband or wife, the husband or wife was willing to get involved with someone else. Lets keep in mind that if our spouse did not wanted to be involved with someone else they wound't be. The only reason there is OW/OM is because our spouse allowed him/herself to be involved with another person.

Penelope, your husband and OW, may last if they marry. Many MLCers love drama. It makes them feel wanted, important and that they matter. Otherwise, why would anyone bother to have drama? I am not saying they are going to last, just that they may and for not to base the probability in the fact that there is drama. Drama is what often fuels affairs, MLC or not.

Yeah, they do seem to love it. I remember when I realized that, I was so disgusted. Like who is this grown man playing these games?? Having his SIL message me when he and I were not on speaking terms. Knowing that I knew she assisted him in his affair. Wtf? All I can do is laugh because it's so ridiculous. Makes me wonder if he had an affar with the SIL too. They're like best buddies now. He texted her as much as OW. Such a weird relationship!!

[KeepItTogether]

There's a young attorney in my office--she's about 37, never married. A bit of a train wreck. Boasts of her sexual exploits on the regular. Misses work b/c of hangovers. The main managing partner at our HQ has brought her up to me a few times--that I need to whip her into shape, etc. She definitely over-shares. Her life revolves around working out, drinking and sex. Talks about her "gentlemen callers" all the time to me. Her boss. LOL.

I like her--she's funny. Nice enough, albeit highly inappropriate. Mostly, I love her stories b/c she is just pure drama.

Well......turns out she is an OW. Didn't see it coming, but in retrospect, makes perfect sense. She was talking about her latest "friend." Showed me a pic and said, "He's married." I just responded, "Oh, so he's a dou@he then."  She said she didn't care, she wasn't looking for anything serious anyway. Just someone to have fun with. I had to order another glass of Rose b/c I was about ready to go off on her. But I didn't. Figured I'd save it for another day. 

Anyway, what I know about her is that she is massively insecure.  But she is also an attorney who is attractive with a gregarious personality. But, she is absolutely an AD. Hoping I can take her under my wing and "fix" her. I mean, I can't fix my H, may as well try to rid the world of one more OW right?

[Mortesbride]

Fixer alert!!!!

Dearest KIT,

You can't fix stupid.

Regards,
Morte 

[OldPilot]

Fixer alert!!!!

Dearest KIT,

You can't fix stupid.

Regards,
Morte 

Agreed - you can not fix her - wasting your time and you should
first try banging your head against a wall and see if that makes you feel better. 

[Anjae]

Penelope, if they seem to love it, one more reason to leave them to it.

OW/OM is not always an obvious affair down. Some OW/OM are very similar to the LBS. It is not uncommon for to MLCers to have an affair, or for two married, non-MLC people to have an affair. MLC is not just the affair, the affair is part of MLC.

Keep, mid-late 30's is the age several of our MLCers were. Maybe the younger lawyer in your office is having a MLC of her own. Regardless, the guy is the married one. There is no shortage of married, non-MLC people, who have affairs. Let them to it.

No, no trying to fix her. Her circus, her monkeys. One of the things LBS have to learn is no more fixing, be it the MLCer or someone else.

[Anon]

They live 2500 miles apart which is good and bad. Good I don't have to see them out together etc. Bad because they don't see each other enough to have the infatuation where off !

Same deal with my h's ow - she is 2000 miles away.  Long distance R but h manages to fly out to visit her every 3 weeks for a 7 - 10 days.   When they are apart, the distance allows them to discharge any stress from being together.   Three weeks later it's honeymoon time all over again.   I agree that this type of R could go on for a very long time.   I no longer have any thoughts either way about it - I'm that indifferent.