[megogirl]

The topic is pretty cut and dry.

You're divorced, and never speak.  You have nothing to keep you connected, other than alimony payments.

So what, exactly, would make them feel as though you are "slipping away?"  i.e., how does the scenario that I've just described not qualify as full-on 'SLIPPED' away?!"

Just curious & thanx, in advance..... 

[Penelope2018]

I honestly have no idea. I think well, I know in my xh's case, that they snoop, so as long as you're not with anyone else, in their mind, you're still on the backburner for them. Idk. I haven't been speaking to my xh but he contacts my brother to ask about me, and my brother replies regardless of what I say.

[in it]

I don't know how your divorce was set up Mego but most women can't get alimony if they get remarried.
Is that how yours is?

You also have to keep in mind if you ever remarry you would be unable to collect on his SS.
 
But you can collect as long as you were married for 10 years. You just can't remarry.

Now if he dies you can collect and remarry.

That's the current info I have gotten.

[OldPilot]

You also have to keep in mind if you ever remarry you would be unable to collect on his SS.
 
But you can collect as long as you were married for 10 years. You just can't remarry.

This applies to both men and women, unless  you are the lower wage earner and make too much.

[nah]

How did “what makes them finally quit?” Turn into not getting alimony if you remarry?

Did I miss something?

[Tyks]

Mine knows that I am seeing someone and he said he hopes I find happiness. I don't think that they all care if you are slipping away.

[in it]

Not sure Nah

Mego said if it's the only connection there is is money and when  Pen posted if there's no one else you are seeing the mlcer thinks you are on the back burner for them.

I thought about the slipping away part as getting remarried and included money in that.

And Tah Dah here we are.

[nah]

Oh, haha... got it. Funny how sometimes these discussions can go in different directions.

“So what makes them finally quit?”

I guess like everything else, it depends on the situation.

Some will say when the LBS is “slipping away”, I confess, in the early days when I read that theory, that was a big reason I started to date right from the beginning. I figured if he thought I was slipping away he would come running back. He didn’t.

So I guess a bigger question would be, “what makes YOU finally quit?”

What would make you stop looking at the closed door behind you and focus on what’s ahead?

[OldPilot]

So I guess a bigger question would be, “what makes YOU finally quit?”

What would make you stop looking at the closed door behind you and focus on what’s ahead?

BINGO

[Disillusioned]

My "slipping away" only incited anger, although she may have sensed a lot of it was false bravado, as has been mentioned here numerous times.

I started going out and she monstered.  Said I'd better not be with anyone that might screw us up if she fell back in love during mediation. 

Any attempts to GAL by me early on were met by rage and further accusations.

This devolved into "you may as well start firetrucking other people, I guess I need to get used to it" and "go firetruck me out of your system."

Any attempt by me to get her into mediation (a sure sign I'm slipping away???) was met by anger, deflection, more reasons I was at fault, and subtle breadcrumbs.

My most recent attempt to get her back to mediation resulted in her saying she'd get back to me, and then getting a lawyer and filing D.  She still hasn't told me she's done it, and I dont think she knows I know.  I'm retaining an attorney this morning.