[Nas]

Hi Shock’s Sis,

Have you thought about becoming a member of the forum?  Then you can have your own moniker and won’t have to borrow your sister’s!   

I think it can get confusing to have 2 people signing in under one membership and sharing 2 separate stories, unless one has been following them for a while. 

Just a suggestion.   

I'm going to second this very good suggestion.  It was one thing when you were replying in a different color only on one thread.  It was somewhat easy to tell the difference between you and your sister.  But now that you are also reading/responding to other threads, it's confusing and I know I for one have at different times thought I was reading shocked when it was actually you and vice versa.

Down the road, folks will be looking to read the insight from you as a past MLCer and it's going to be confusing for them to weed through it all since you and shocked are both posting under the same username. 

[Sunandshade]

Can I add a third! You are very welcome.

[Mortesbride]

Well for the record mine will lie about going for a coffee whilst holding the coffee cup so..

[Ro828]

I'm also interested in the lying question.  My X lied over the most inconsequential things while in crisis.  When we would visit his parents they would ask him an insignificant question and he'd outright lie.  When I confronted him he couldn't really say why.  I mean, it was really stupid stuff like "where did you go for dinner" instead of saying the steakhouse he'd tell them we went for Chinese.  It was strange.

[Ready2Transform]

Same with my xH! It was the little things that were the most confounding. I asked him once when he was kind of lucid after BD2 why he lied so much and he said he didn't know why, but that once he started, "it just got easier." 

[hopeandfaith]

Thunder, my H isn't a liar much either.  If he lies, its by omission - just leaves out a few facts.

Anon; My H went through a stage where he would tell us he was going to visit ow like he was buying eggs.  Then he left out the details of where he was going for the weekend and we soon worked it out (daughter has Find my friends app with him).  Then he took me out for breakfast the last 2 times he was going to see her to tell me that he was going to see her (in the spirit of honesty).  Then I suspect he saw her again during a work trip and he sort of missed out on the fact that he was in that town.  Not that I really cared.

My take on it was that his head has been turned toward home for a while now and she became the other woman again instead of the main squeeze.  This time, not in a good way.  I think the lie became a burden rather than an excitement - as most lies do eventually.

[Seahorse]

I wonder if this lying while in MLC was actually a trait they had before the MLC but managed to be smarter and less obvious about their lies. 

This latest lie my h spun was that he was visiting a dying friend on one side of the country when he was really visiting ow on the other side of the country.   He visits her all the time, common knowledge, so why suddenly after 2+ years switch it up and lie about where he is going?   I didnt even ask where he was going - he just offered up the lie.   The other notable thing with this lie is that it is so easily exposed that he had to know I would know he was lying and very soon too.   Is this MLC that leads them to do this?   Or is this just really who they are and during MLC they get more sloppy and stupid with the lies?

Anon -
I think this is a very pertinent question. 
Joe Beam (Marriage Helper) says that in order to consider taking your spouse back, you need to determine if he/she is a good person doing a bad thing, or a bad person doing a bad thing...
Just food for thought...

Sea

[Rising Phoenix]

My h lies still 4.5 yrs later. He once told me he lied to shut me up from asking questions. He lied to a price other woman as she is jealous of our children. Even this weekend just last, h was due to see the kids and I knew he would cancel as I don’t think ow knows he is seeing his kids, she certainly doesn’t know he texts his wife even when on holiday with ow. H text sat eve to cancel as he had a bad back which really meant, ow has plans and I must do that instead, the fortnight before it was helping a friend move house! On a Sunday!!

Hi ss, I know each mlcer is different and my question may not have an answer. My h is currently texting me via a secret phone I have. He will avoid texts re his divorce, finances and kids but ask me about diy and even became angry and stated my father shouldn’t be doing diy in HIS house. Yest texts were about a picnic loaf i had made. My question would be do you recognise any of my h behaviour and relate to it in any way and what h behaviour could possibly mean. Probably just weird behaviour as usual.  Was mostly a Vanisher for the last 2 yrs even though lives minutes away but had a coffee outside my home last week but wouldn’t come in but I could see he was torn if to or not. Xx

[beyondblessed]

When I was five yrs old my mother told me not to take a cookie from the cookie jar.

I wanted the cookie, so I took it anyways.

She asked me who took the cookie.

I knew taking the cookie was wrong, so I lied.

I didn’t want the consequences of telling the truth.

Too simple??

In my case, there are no more consequences to him telling the truth, and he damn well knows it.  The worst consequence  has already been served up to him......a life void of me and filled with OW.  This is all water under the bridge and we have had virtually no contact since he left in 2016, yet the one conversation we had was still riddled with lies and still all about him.  Wtf, dude?

[Father5]

Anon ,

My wife never lied either.Two days after BD I noticed she was filling out paperwork. I asked what she was doing she said "I'm getting my tubes tied". I have a vasectomy!!! Then when we moved ( still living together) I went early to get the house ready for her and the kids. She tells me when she gets there she has found someone and that she has to live in her truth ! I can't make this up.