[Finding Joy]

It was my understanding that much like the teenage years, we all go through a form of MLT at some point.  It only becomes a crises if we do not deal with our baggage, and who knows what else causes it.  I personally think you are right, we as LBS are forced to deal with our baggage and so long as we do, I would think it would keep many from an MLC.  Then again, if we cannot handle it(the MLC), it probably pushes some in to their own MLC.

I remember the day that I consciously decided I had to chose my kids.  That my h was not worth me having a mental breakdown.  I slowly dug my way out of the darkness because I knew my kids needed me.  I’m not sure how dark it would have gotten for me if I did not have young kids to draw me out.

[Standing Strong]

It was my understanding that much like the teenage years, we all go through a form of MLT at some point.  It only becomes a crises if we do not deal with our baggage, and who knows what else causes it.  I personally think you are right, we as LBS are forced to deal with our baggage and so long as we do, I would think it would keep many from an MLC.  Then again, if we cannot handle it(the MLC), it probably pushes some in to their own MLC.

I remember the day that I consciously decided I had to chose my kids.  That my h was not worth me having a mental breakdown.  I slowly dug my way out of the darkness because I knew my kids needed me.  I’m not sure how dark it would have gotten for me if I did not have young kids to draw me out.

That's super awesome!!! A (real) mom does anything for her kids..... don't mess with momma bear.
The H in me made me pick myself up and start dealing me me as I want to fight.... in this fight the only thing which can be done is to be the lighthouse, and if my light goes out it's all over. In that analogy, if we get hit my MLT, I think our light dims while we repair everything.... and as we change our light grows brighter. Do they see it and come home? That's up to them. I bet the bright light attracts other travelers as well....... my neon sign says "No vacancy" in bright letters. 

-SS

[Finding Joy]

SS,  haha!  Good point!!! 

[One day at a time]

I actually think I was having an MLT or something along those lines a few months before BD1, I certainly was going through "something". I turned 40 and it affected me more than I thought it would.. I started wondering if "Is this all there is to life?" I was very unhappy in work, I struggled to get out of bed every morning. I hated corporate life and I wanted a change. I fantasized about a different life, moving to a hot country and having a simpler life.. I never thought about abandoning H but to this day I don't know how he fitted in this dream I was building in my head..  H was traveling quite a bit for work and I found myself very lonely, I became very negative, couldn't see anything good about my life.

6 months later...  BD! I guess that gave me something else to worry about because even though H didn't leave immediately and we were still a "couple", things were very different and I lived in fear he would run away. Nothing better to make you appreciate your life when it's all hanging from a thread, right? And then he eventually ran and my world came crashing down and I think I got into a different type of crisis..

So was I going through MLT before BD or was that the beginning of my own MLC? I don't know.. I think overall I have much better coping skills and emotional intelligence than H ever did so I want to believe I would have never gotten to a full crisis. His MLC has certainly made me look inside and discover a lot of things about myself and my marriage.. The interesting thing is that I'm still in the corporate world and I'm actually enjoying it. The negativity is gone because now I truly appreciate what I have. And even more interesting is the fact that I actually have a good opportunity to move to a hot country with a good job and I'm not even considering it.. Because I understand that what I had in my head before was a fantasy and real life doesn't work like that.. Maybe I would enjoy the weather more but the price would be to leave my friends, my house and the life I have built for 20 years in this country behind.. It's a very high price to pay for a fantasy, isn't it? Unfortunately the MLCers don't think that way. 

[Anjae]

Everyone goes through midlife transition. Not everyone goes through midlife crisis.

We are not immune. Several LBS have had their MLC, I'm one of them. It is not uncommon.

[Kitty]

I had a mild MLT for about 2 years before BD. I had actually been coming out of it a few months before BD hit. It never got to crisis level with me, I'm thankful for that. I don't envy what Grumpy is going through regardless of what's been done.