[AlvinTheMaker]

70% of communication is nonverbal: body language.  So either you aren’t paying attention to yourself and what your body is trying to tell you about your feelings on something or you are trying to people please.....

For me one possible reason is my body is in constant attack against itself.  Has been for 10+ years...  Apart of random days here and there, I really recall what "pain free"body really feels like. Most of the time it just sinks in the background as I get up and on the move.  But for example when I do mindfullness, I feel my body way too well.

Speaking of percentages....   W has an interesting claim, likely true... For her spoken words means WAY more than 7%... I guess it is possible. In the end I would assume the 55% body language - 38% tone - 7% spoken words rule is just very rough approximation.

[Couragedearheart]

Alvin,

I have been reading the Pete Walker Cptsd book....wether it applies or not is irrelevant....but he make a great point about the weight of our unfelt emotions being held in our bodies.
He encourages stretching for tension an stress, I have been and it helps...heck H is having me help him stretch every morning and every night because he is so tense.

I have been doing EFT (emotionally focused tapping) there is YouTube videos for each different emotion, I find that to be a good release for emotions I just can’t seem to clear.

And mindfulness, I am trying to find ways to incorporate it into my life over and over and over, that and grounding techniques....it keeps me focused on ME, and how I feel, and what I need, and my true self. I find when I am acting out of my true self as opposed to shame/ obligation/guilt /should’s and codependent tendencies my actions match my words....
 
The only way to not send mixed messages is to be in touch with yourself and then authentically be yourself and be true to your feelings and emotions.