[nah]

Now I’m really confused.

You don’t find that it’s offensive that it could be choice but you find it offensive that some women might want to escape?

What’s the difference?

[Jackolar12]

Hi Brain, I see a lot of similarities with our quest for understanding. Did your research show up Amygdala dis regulation, it can alter behaviours and induce hyper sexuality in some people who’s hormones are above their normally set levels.

 I think that may have been causal in my situation it’s the only thing that fits other than her being a bad girl all along and she wasn’t she was a Step ford wife prior but she never let on she was on the change to me, perhaps she didn’t know herself at the time.
Kind regards
Jack

Jack. Just curious.

If you somehow was handed the answer of why this all happened, what would you do with it and how would it change anything?

I would use it to help others untangle the skien Nah, I believe hormones exceeding the upper level of an individuals Amygdala could be causal to it going into disregulation and be a contributing component among other factors such as life stressors and Foo issues to some MLC cases but only in extreme hormonal shifts not all reach the upper set point. It’s well documented that it can change a persons perspective. Even if they saw something formally viewed as harmless in their environment they are now are seen as a threat.

 It could be why the former spouse is seen as the now resented enemy, someone to escape from or fight. It could be a contributor in some normal affairs also, high threshold breaches can make an individual behave socially inappropriately. It would also help me in the process and I’m into the sciences academically so I enjoy researching as it distracts me from thoughts and feelings I would rather not have.
Kind regards
Jack

[nah]

Okay, that makes sense to me. Helping others is a great way to heal.

Do you feel you are suffering from PTSD and have you researched ways to ease the pain?

[Jackolar12]

Hi, yes I have had some good advice off many posters, when I can walk properly again and drive I will get some privately the events over the last 8 years have left a legacy I don’t want.
Kind regards
Jack

[nah]

My husband helped me a lot with breathing deeply and “be where your feet are”...

No walking or driving needed.   

[Disillusioned]

If the men on this thread really truly want real answers, why be so closed minded to what the women on here are saying? 

We are not reading about menopause, we are living it.

I'm not being close minded.  I think close mindedness is what caused this thread to be split off in the first place.  Jackolar was basically told he was wrong, and that there was no correlation.

This woman seems to think menopause is somewhat related, and so do the doctors in the article.  http://www.oprah.com/sp/new-midlife-crisis.html 

As I mentioned earlier, my W was perimenopausal in 2014 and things got progressively worse from there.  She directly referenced it several times for her "crazy" behavior and she's still no where near the woman I met and married in her behavior, her attitude, or her desire to be with our 9 year old D.

Again, if this conversation is so triggering to some of you, isn't it best to just post somewhere else?  I really don't understand the anger, or dismissive attitude, on this particular topic or the thoroughly demeaning tone toward some of the men here.  It would be interesting to see what would happen on a thread about ED, or something else male related.  I wonder if the men here would react the same way?

[marvin4242]

Jackolar: I realize this may not be an option but I’ll put it out there anyway. There are more and more therapists who will work with clients over skype/FaceTime/video. Some PTSD therapies work best in person, but there are others that will work remotely. And considering how much they help it very well may be worth NOT waiting for when you are physically healed to start healing spiritually and psychically.

Only thing I will say about the discussion happening here: I don’t think we can equate the experience women have in their roles in society (and I am only limiting this to the US) as compared to men. I know we have varied backgrounds, religious beliefs, relationship beliefs. But as a general statement women are viewed more negatively if they are assertive in personal and professionals lives then men if the two genders behave EXACTLY the same and make the same choices. So there is a bias towards women having to be “nicer,” “less angry,” etc etc. So when we talk about roles in a long term marriage this factor may play a role. As we get older some of us become more comfortable with ourselves, and I can see that a spouse who has stayed in an uncomfortable relationship and has felt constrained may simply decides to change their lives.

This is in NO WAY the same as what many of us have experienced in MLC. That is simply called end of a non functioning relationship.

[Nas]

But as a general statement women are viewed more negatively if they are assertive

🙋‍♀️
Assertive woman here, totally co-signing this statement

[Not Applicable]

Again, if this conversation is so triggering to some of you, isn't it best to just post somewhere else? 

Menopausal women don't get "triggered." They aren't millennials.

[Disillusioned]

Again, if this conversation is so triggering to some of you, isn't it best to just post somewhere else? 

Menopausal women don't get "triggered." They aren't millennials.