[Treasur]

Mine was 'this is not who I am' (which included both remembering who i was and that WIW was not my creation )
Oh, and 'x is dead' (because you can't contact a dead person lol...and it made me deal with reality which was pretty similar to what I would have been doing or feeling if he had suddenly died  ...dark but practical!)

[OffRoad]

I didn't break him, I can't fix  him. Thank Goodness he moved out, now I can take care of the rest of us.

[Mortesbride]

1. Where ever he was, whoever he was with, whatever he was doing did not matter because the answer was always ''He is not here with his family''.

2. It isn't and was never about me, the kids, or our marriage.

3. ''Because he is nuts''...this applies to any question like ''Why did he x, y, z''

4. You should never have to chase or beg for love.

[beyondblessed]

1. Where ever he was, whoever he was with, whatever he was doing did not matter because the answer was always ''He is not here with his family''.

2. It isn't and was never about me, the kids, or our marriage.

3. ''Because he is nuts''...this applies to any question like ''Why did he x, y, z''

4. You should never have to chase or beg for love.

Yes, all of this.  Love should never have to be chased.   And broken is broken, until someone decides it needs to be fixed.

[UrsaMajor]

1) (Looking in the mirror) "How long do you intend to go tilting at Windmills?" (Chasing xW)
2) (Looking at my kids) "Someone has to be the stable parent and that someone is me."
3) (Looking at xW) - "I didn't cause this, it is NOT my responsibility to fix it but it IS my responsibility to fix ME."
4) (Looking at the tornado damage) - "I deserve better than to be tossed aside like a week old fish"
5) (In discussions with IC) "I am responsible for my own healing and my own life. Nothing more and nothing less. I deserve to be loved for who I am and what I have to offer. If xW can't see what she had in me, there is nothing I can do about that. Someone else will see it and, if not, I know it and am happy in my own right."

[Duthla]

For me:
- I have a 7 yr old son to look after and raise. His father turned his world upside down so I’m going to make his world as safe and predictable as possible. (He’s almost 14 now and I’m still the steady one)
- I cannot function in the career I have worked so hard for. I need to get myself together so I can continue helping others in the way my job and clients need me to.
- I’m rational and he’s not. There will be no true answers until he sees there’s a problem.
- I have made it through tough times in my past. This one may be the hardest but I’ll make it through this time as well.
- I’m worthy of love and understanding and acceptance. If he can’t give me those basic needs, then I don’t want him.
- It feels like this now, but it won’t feel like this forever.
- The more I show my strength, the crazier he gets. Keep it classy at ALL times Duthla. He will be judged by his family and friends without any needed input from me.
- The other woman? She’s got nothing on me. I’m smarter, more personable and have WAY more to bring to the table. Her weakness is exactly what xH wanted. THIS LEAD TO.......
- I’m too much strong woman for xH. If you can’t stand my shine then step out of my LIGHT!

[Seahorse]

For me it was "Let go, and let God"...
I can't control any of this, and His plan is superior to my own devices.

Sea

[MyBrainIsBroken]

I figured MLC lasts a long time so I might as well do something worthwhile with my time and my life while my wife is gone, especially things that I might not have time to do if my wife were with me.