[Couragedearheart]

What was the thought that prompted you personally to get out of the monkeybraining and into your own healing.

I know we cycle so if you had more than one list as many as you can remember.

Might be a nice reference when we fall into this cycle or ruminations.

[Couragedearheart]

For me personally the first was:

1) I’ll be D&mned if I let a person in a mental health crisis have control over my feelings.

2) I have s15 who relies on me to make rational decisions and I can’t do that if I’m emotional.

3) There was this girl H met 14 years ago and he fell in love with her....in part because she wasn’t a crazy cycling, tearful snot covered helpless mess.

4) if there’s even a chance he might leave I must now have a plan B (which became my salvation was letting go of every thought that kept me cycling and prevented me from making my own plan B)

5) I want my dignity back.

[barbiedoll]

1. I am a separate human being. What another person does is NOT a reflection of me. It truly is NOT about me .
2. I am not alone in this . It is happening in epidemic proportions. I have people who understand me
3. I have people that depend on me . I need to be responsible to my roles
4. I have 5 daughters that are watching me ...I can survive this.
5. I understand selfcare like never before and its importance in my life
6. It is not possible in any realistic or logical way that a OW can fix what is broken in him .
7. I want to know at the end of the day , that I am damn PROUD of me.
8. I do not have to participate in every fight, argument etc that I am invited to . I can choose to decline.
9. I am strong , I am able and I understand that my "little girl" wounds need care. Not all this pain belongs to him.
10. Helping others thru this rough times is rewarding in ways I never imagined. I like what I have learned from this.

[Standing Strong]

Interesting........

For me:
This isn't about me, it's all about her.
Her choices are not my choices and not a reflection of me or my worth.
Only a fool would throw me away.
I am alone, but I am never alone.

-SS

[Couragedearheart]

Barbie,
Thank you for sharing.
Wow.....I needed to read some of those.

[Shockandawe]

I will never be defined by my husband’s mlc.
I am a good person.
The only thing I have control over is myself.
Don’t spend time worrying over the future, nothing is written in stone and the future is yours to create.
I am not perfect but I am perfectly capable of taking control of me.
It can only affect you if you allow it to.

[Acorn]

Interesting topic, Courage.  It forces me to fess up my go-to mantras that pushed me to march forward.

‘He will do what he will do,  O well and good luck.’
‘I have only one life to live and I won’t let H and his stupid crisis waste one more day of it.’

[Couragedearheart]

SS,
I admire your self confidence “only a fool would throw me away”

S&A,
“I am perfectly capable of taking control of me”
I really love this one.

Acorn,

🤣🤣🤣
Stupid crisis.

[beyondblessed]

Without a doubt realizing that I was the prize all along and he wasn't man enough to appreciate and a value me as I deserved and also accepting that I didn't cause his careless and cowardly behavior, but that I was still responsible for healing myself from his bull$h!te.

[9393roo]

When I realized my D who was 16 at the time was losing all respect for me.  I started to see myself from her view and knew I needed to pull myself together and get my self respect back.  This is the thing I am most proud of today.  I think she is too.