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Author Topic: Off-Topic offwhitelily ... in memoriam

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Off-Topic offwhitelily ... in memoriam
OP: May 13, 2020, 04:20:24 PM
For those of you who connected with offwhitelily; I just saw on FB that she passed away yesterday. No other information that I can find; she was only 52. Her obituary notification is on the funeral home website, but nothing more. It's been a while since I last saw her in person, but in the early days we would meet for coffee and support each other. I will miss her sense of humour and spunk :(
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« Last Edit: May 14, 2020, 07:51:29 AM by OldPilot »
On many long journeys have I gone. And waited, too, for others to return from journeys of their own. Some return; some are broken; some come back so different only their names remain.

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offwhitelily
#1: May 13, 2020, 04:28:02 PM
Terrible news. I’m so sad to read this.
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offwhitelily
#2: May 13, 2020, 04:51:59 PM
Thank you for letting us know ThirstyDuck. I had chatted with her on FB but had not for a while. So very very sad.  :'(
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" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

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offwhitelily
#3: May 13, 2020, 05:23:30 PM
I just heard from a mutual friend that she had been battling cancer for quite some time. So sad.
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On many long journeys have I gone. And waited, too, for others to return from journeys of their own. Some return; some are broken; some come back so different only their names remain.

YODA, Dark Rendezvous

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Re: offwhitelily
#4: May 13, 2020, 05:34:43 PM
Oh no! Prayers for her family and all of you who were close to her.  :'(
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"Unconditional love is the highest of high standards, and while we are letting go of our need to control the process of anyone else, we are taking within our lives complete accountability for our own experience."

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offwhitelily
#5: May 13, 2020, 06:30:58 PM
I saw that too.  :'(
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offwhitelily
#6: May 14, 2020, 12:30:53 AM
I'd been chatting with her for a bit, particularly prior to my choir trip to Dublin last fall. She had been undergoing chemo and radiation treatments for cancer for a while and was joking with me about her wig selection.

I saw the news this morning when I woke up....

Please keep her kids (1 D-13 and 1 S-11) and family close in their grieving....
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« Last Edit: May 14, 2020, 12:38:49 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 57, xW - 50
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offwhitelily
#7: May 14, 2020, 01:08:45 AM
I didn't know offwhitelilly very well but we had exchanged some offline messages, the last just a couple of months ago. I knew about her breast cancer but her last message, entirely in character, was a positive one. I felt so angry about hearing that she had died, really angry bc she was a splendid kind of human. Sassy, funny, full of love for her young teenage kids, creative, optimistic, tough minded and tender hearted. She refinished furniture, played the guitar and laughed a lot at the ridiculousness of MLC. I admired her very much.

But i think offwhitelilly would not want me to be angry. I think she would hope that her wider family will step up for her young teenage kids and that her textbook MLC man child of a h will do better. I think she would want those of you with kids to hug them close and laugh often. I think she would want every single one of us, including me, to punch our inner sense of victim on the nose every time it pops up. I think she would want us to know in our bones that each one of us can make a better life if we step further away from these broken people.....and that we matter enough to do that. And that a bit of sassy humour is a fine ingredient for life.
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Re: offwhitelily
#8: May 14, 2020, 02:58:29 AM
I too learned of this via FB and am devastated at the news

OWL was a fantastic example of an LBS moving forward with her life and her ability to step back and see MLC and her MLCer for what he was.

She wrote so eloquently and powerfully that I was moved to use some of her phrases and vocabulary with my H and boy did they work.

She will be much missed and I cannot imagine the anguish her children must be going through.

Quote
I think she would want every single one of us, including me, to punch our inner sense of victim on the nose every time it pops up.
Couldn't have put it better myself Treasur and this applies not to just MLC but everytime we feel victim or hard done by in life.  I hope that all of us on here learn from her and all of us go back and look over her threads for she refused to play victim and she lived the life that she could with fortitude and grace.

RIP OWL - much love  xx
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