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Author Topic: My Story Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred

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My Story Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#50: October 01, 2021, 02:27:43 AM
Quote from: Dumbfounded on September 28, 2021, 10:28:08 AM
But I am sitting here at work eating my lunch thinking "Chop it off reading??"  Then it hit me - oh yeah, if your foot offends thee, chop it off.  Then I chuckled.... I guess that is what happed to LB and SPQ... they offended thee and I cut them off.  The Bible is right.... tis much better this way.   



Yeah.... My life would make a pretty boring movie at this point....

Found out last night that the parents of RD20's Best Friend that live sort of diagonal to us (they live 4 doors in this direction from my former house) are looking to sell their house.... R and I are thinking about buying it for a rental property (extra income in retirement) and then, if and when RD20 needs it, we have it.... We'll see... It is a seriously big step and I'm torn. This one would be in my name though while where we live now is R's house... Scary step to commit one's self to a fairly large mortgage at 58 but I see others here doing similar things and, since it is really one street over, maintaining it wouldn't be too difficult... We'll have to see what they are asking.... or planning to ask...
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Me - 61, xW - 54
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 17, D - 13
1 Dog
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life
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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
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Re: Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#51: October 01, 2021, 09:38:33 AM
I thought it was  "If thine eye offends thee, pluck it out!"   ;D

Thanks for the wonderful update, UM.  I'm happy life is good for you and R and the kiddo's.
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."
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Re: Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#52: October 01, 2021, 12:25:56 PM
Quote from: Thunder on October 01, 2021, 09:38:33 AM
I thought it was  "If thine eye offends thee, pluck it out!"   ;D

That's the third thing.... "If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off for it is better to enter the kingdom of heaven with one hand than to be consigned to hell.... And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off for it is better to enter the kingdom of heaven lame than be sent to hell where the worm never dies... " etc. NSRV Mark 9
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Me - 61, xW - 54
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 17, D - 13
1 Dog
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life
Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.
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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#53: October 13, 2021, 11:28:31 AM
Great to see your update UM. Sounds blissfully normal. Love the idea of your buying that house. Don't think of it as being saddled with a mortgage at 58, but rather an investment that will likely yield far more than any investment fund.  Hope it works out.
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Me 50
H 49
S15
BD 5/16
H Moved out 6/16
OW--yes. Worked for H. EA turned into PA while I was in chemo. On again/off again like every high school romance
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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#54: November 02, 2021, 04:52:35 PM
UM, Popeye and I have just bought a house, complete with a decent, but still totally reasonable mortgage.  I must admit, I did think and overthink the whole thing, but have found my peace in the fact that this will be OUR home for the rest of our living days.  Much like MLC, it's one of those things you don't see coming at this age, but you learn to swim tides and navigate it as it comes.
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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#55: November 03, 2021, 03:29:07 AM
R talked to the owner and....

1) We are about 4th in line in the neighborhood that have expressed an interest (news travels faster than the kids talk - R's D20 and Owners D20 are BFF's so we did hear rather early on)
2) they are NOT planning to sell in the near term - probably in the 6-8 months time frame rather than the end of the year
3) They haven't gotten a valuation yet so we don't know what they are asking... It may simply be more than we can afford due to the real estate bubble at the moment

We'll just have to wait and see....
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Me - 61, xW - 54
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 17, D - 13
1 Dog
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life
Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.
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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#56: November 03, 2021, 03:48:18 AM
UM- I get the mortgage anxiety. I just refinanced our home under my name solely…gulp!!!  There was power and anxiety in it. My goal is to power through and pay it off in 5 years. It is a huge goal. I took a 10 year mortgage and that was huge. It is my total focus for the next 5 years!!!  Will I make it??? Probably not, but it gives me something to shoot for. 🤣😂 GOALS!!!!
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« Last Edit: November 03, 2021, 03:52:23 AM by Tornup »
There is almost something harder about someone being alive and having to lose what you believed to be true of them than someone actually dying.

Indefatigability - determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose
perspicacity- a clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight

Married July 1991
Jan 2018 BD1 moved out I filed for Div/ H stopped it
Oct 2018 moved back
Oct 2020 BD2
Feb 2021 Div-29 1/2 years
July 2021 Married OW
Feb 2022  XH fired
June 2022 XH bring OW to meet family due to xMIL illness
May 2023 went NC after telling XH we could not be friends
Aug 2023 XH moves w/o OWife
May 2024 xMIL visits XH/OW in their new home
Aug 2024 cut relations w/XH fam.
Dec 2024 D33 expecting baby ( XH not told)
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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#57: November 09, 2021, 12:17:39 AM
A good friend of mine who happens to be an Episcopal Priest posted this on her timeline and I thought "Well, isn't THAT an LBS Mantra!"  Whether it is "Moving On" in the sense that it is used here or "Moving Forward in Life While Standing" or even "Recovering one's equilibrium while deciding what to do next."  There are some things that are simply outside our control and to recognize/accept that is one of the first (and hardest) things for us to deal with....



Oh!  And I just now realized as I was updating my profile that xW's B-Day was exactly a week ago... It totally escaped my attention...  ???
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« Last Edit: November 09, 2021, 04:55:04 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 61, xW - 54
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 17, D - 13
1 Dog
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life
Survival Instructions for Newbies
Site Map
 
A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.
M
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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#58: November 09, 2021, 05:21:00 AM
Quote
Oh!  And I just now realized as I was updating my profile that xW's B-Day was exactly a week ago... It totally escaped my attention...  ???
Ahhh, how sweet it is!!! YES!!
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There is almost something harder about someone being alive and having to lose what you believed to be true of them than someone actually dying.

Indefatigability - determined to do or achieve something; firmness of purpose
perspicacity- a clarity of vision or intellect which provides a deep understanding and insight

Married July 1991
Jan 2018 BD1 moved out I filed for Div/ H stopped it
Oct 2018 moved back
Oct 2020 BD2
Feb 2021 Div-29 1/2 years
July 2021 Married OW
Feb 2022  XH fired
June 2022 XH bring OW to meet family due to xMIL illness
May 2023 went NC after telling XH we could not be friends
Aug 2023 XH moves w/o OWife
May 2024 xMIL visits XH/OW in their new home
Aug 2024 cut relations w/XH fam.
Dec 2024 D33 expecting baby ( XH not told)
b
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Thread 37 - Blended, not stirred
#59: November 10, 2021, 02:49:14 PM
 Great list, UM.  Moving forward, in all of life's uncertainties, is what every LBS needs to do.  Closure is a myth.  If you want to be done, then you decide that you're done.  You don't sit around collecting dust waiting for someone to tell you you're done  ;D. And, how appropriate that you didn't remember your XW's bday.  To closure and accepting that the MLC'ers crash and burn mentality is theirs and theirs alone to own.
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